Taking 3 year old daughter into Men’s Toilets

When I work I would rather open the door and let this child into a disabled toilet than let her go into the mens. So much nicer.

I would have used the disabled toilet instead.

Massively unreasonable, use the disabled loo. Out of interest, what is her mum's opinion on this? I would not be impressed

This situation was so stressful - from no baby change in the men’s room on up through until my kids were old enough to use the toilet on their own. There’s honestly no great answer so what you did is as good as anything else.

To be fair, they’re often labelled accessible toilets, which I assumed (perhaps incorrectly?) meant they were for anyone who’d struggle in a normal cubicle, eg people with prams, multiple young children, etc., not just people with disabilities.

Ok fair enough, but sometimes it's the only space that works for people with prams or multiple small children. Baby change is usually in there which makes it a place parents tend to use. People with disabilities should always have priority of disabled loos though.

If for example the cubicles were too tight for space for a grown man + child, it's really the only option. Lots of Edinburgh cubicles you could not fit two people in and use the loo.

FFS no.

Disabled toilets are for, y'know, people with actual disabilities.

your DD would see a man’s penis

is the sort of content some will travel to this thread and have fun with

You should have took her to a cubicle or asked if there was a parent and child room available

Cubicle yes
Disabled no

I don’t think you did anything wrong.

as someone upthread said, it would be very unlikely your DD would see a man’s penis…… but even if she did accidentally, what do posters think is going to happen, her eyes will fall out??

If random man didn’t want to pee in front of your DD then HE should have went in the cubicle.

You were perfectly sensible.

You met a nut job, and staff who’ve learnt that the best way for a quiet life is to keep quiet and keep people who are falling out apart.

And the many preachy comments about how you should have used a cubicle, clear aren’t familiar with what the cubicles in gents are often like.

Between you and the wall, swift and straight forward. Please don’t let it out you off going out with you and your daughter again.

Presumably a large part of that is that, in the women's toilets, only a very small proportion of cubicle use is for somebody having a poo - especially considering that so many women have issues with pooing in public toilets and will deliberately avoid doing so.

In the men's toilets, virtually every use of a cubicle will be for a poo - and there is often only one or two cubicles in there to 'spread the load' (as it were) - because most visits will be for a wee and thus most users will just use the urinals... thus of course the average men's cubicle will be considerably dirtier and smellier than the average women's cubicle as the day goes on, before somebody comes in to clean them.

His reaction sounds unhinged, he went too far. But...mens toilets are not the place for a wee girl, cubicles or disabled loos would be best in this scenario.

But you don't usually need baby change for a 3yo. At any rate, she didn't need the toilet herself - she was only going in with her dad as she's too little to leave outside on her own.

Public toilets are designed around what adults and older children need according to their sex, and little ones just fall in and go in to the ladies' with their mums or in to the gents' with their dads - it's always been that way. The standard setup with cubicles in the ladies' is for the benefit of women; they aren't placed there solely to provide privacy for a small child in with their mum, although that can obviously be a beneficial side-effect.

Correct choice, but use a cubicle.
My DH always used to carry DD in and hide her eyes as he walked through or something.

Civilised world occupied by reasonable people:
OP checks if toilet empty, if so, goes in.
Another man arrives. OP says "Sorry she's here, mate, I'm on my own with her"
Second man replies "No worries mate. I'll wait till you go".
What is wrong with (some) men that something this basic is beyond them?

He might be looking for all and any answers discussing this interesting mise-en-scène.

Women take their young boys into women’s toilets and changing rooms out of necessity and it’s not generally questioned. That guy is a red flag.

Have you ever seen a cubicle in an average mens toilet? They are dreadful usually even in the best establishments its like they never get cleaned.

You were right, he was a cunt

No idea, but it's set up so the mum is the default parent which is shit for both sexes.

When mine were little, often the changing facilities were in the ladies. That is getting better but you still see it

Cubicle would have been a better choice but sometimes the cubicles are so rancid you would rather the very tiny risk of her seeing a strangers nob (which in reality will not in fact cause a small child to explode and it is unusual in the extreme that there would be naked men in the mens loos, nor do they tend to whop out the whole thing to have a wee..*data gathered from both personal experience and DP's experience, as a nob-owner and user of urinals).

The facilities for disabled people are for disabled people, OP gives no indication that he or his daughter are disabled, nor is either a baby in need of a nappy change, therefore the accessible facilities for disabled people are not for them!

(I don't think baby changes should be in there either personally but thats another argument for another day. There should be a baby change in there... for parents with disabilities to use. Most are not actually accessible for parents with disabilities!).

Child should go with the parent to the toilet that fits the parents requirements. If someone feels uncomfortable that there is a child in there they can - use the cubicles - come out and wait for the offending child to leave.

I don’t personally see that it particularly matters if the three year old is a boy or a girl here. Presumably people are ok with three year old boys accompanying their dad into the men’s? Why would a man be uncomfortable with a three year old girl in the men’s but not a boy?

And boys are often going to be accompanying their mum into the female changing rooms and will see naked women. I don’t think this puts them at “risk”.

At school my 6 year old still changes in a mixed group.

This. I wouldn’t have her standing next to disgusting urinals and seeing random men use it too.

Well yes if the child is under 10 and can’t physically open the door that’s slightly annoying but many disabled children aren’t.