To be really dreading half term

This. You as the parent are the one responsible for their relationship. You can't just hope it will get better and wanting them to be apart all the time certainly won't help. You need to actively show them how to entertain each other, how to care for each other, how to resolve conflict and then it'll make all of your lives much easier. The kids will know if you're counting down the hours until they're back at school. You've got two of them now so you're going to have to work on their relationship.

Sorry if that's too blunt but you seem to favour a direct tone by your replies so trying to be helpful

Still no mention of a partner? Do you have any one at all to share the children with? If no partner do you have any family support?

It’s the time of year. It’s cold and miserable and u basically need to spend money to entertain them. Christmas holidays are awful for me too and DH has to work a lot over it, he’s not allowed to take it off.

I’m in Scotland, we only get 3 days off in February but there is talk of holidays being reduced in summer and a full week in February as well as 2 weeks in October rather than 1. I would absolutely hate that.

fucks sake

Why bother? Are you like vegans that have to proclaim they are vegan at every opportunity?

I hear you op. I dread every single one of them. I just survive them. Mix of autism and adhd. I've got one that desperately needs to stay home do nothing so he can decompress from school. Two with adhd that need to be out exploring/socialising but on their terms. So whatever we do I've always got someone unhappy.

I really wish I could enjoy them and on my really good days I might treasure 5 seconds where they were not trying to kill eachother or themselves. But on the whole I just don't have those kind of children.
One on one great. All together nightmare.
I wear loops to cope with the noise. All snacks and meals are prepped the night before by my husband. We make it easy as possible. It's still mind numbingly boring for me with my youngest. My older ones are much better but again all together they just wind eachother up. They all want my attention but will all want to do different separate things. We will bake cookies it will be stressful. There will be meltdowns.

Any arts and crafts last 5 seconds and what feels like 2 years of me cleaning up. Going out we all have all in one suits and bung them on but we may have meltdowns before even get outside. Or the moment we do someone's fallen in a puddle/lost a welly.

It always feels like a game of the fox,chicken and grain riddle.

The only way I would remotely enjoy it more would be to have more support. As I can't pay for it and don't have family/friend support we just have to survive it. There isn't even any sen holiday clubs that exist near me. Their friends either seem to be on holidays or staying with grandparents so not available for play dates.

I even tried to access local children's support (young carers/respite) previously during the 6 weeks never ending holiday. Unless you are literally about to murder the whole family there is zero support. Couple of zoom meetings that my eldest couldn't be less interested in. A coffee morning that mine (and me) would hate. I'm likely audhd too the last thing I need is a busy noisy cramped cafe with forced socialising to deplete me more.

Ugh, the most boring activity ever and the most tedious clichéd suggestion.

A more "smug" answer then, to beat the skiing poster: I'm blissfully happy to be child free!
😁

LOL. I suspect the school nursery teachers wouldn't cope with my four year old for a week without a break. He is hard enough for just mornings. (Additional needs).

OP if it makes you feel any better, I try my hardest NOT to take time off work over the school holidays! I have every Friday off, plus obviously the weekends and that is more than enough for me. I find it very difficult otherwise filling the days. I know I am lucky that I have two sets of grandparents who can help.

I hate it as well. Im agoraphobic and my OH has no leave left. So we’ll be stuck in all week.

I'm sorry, I don't mean it as a criticism. It's just you say how stressed you are, how you hate taking them to soft play, how the children are overwhelmed all the time, how you're anxious about unstructured time, and how much you have planned for one week... I just think it's worth considering whether you're putting too much pressure on yourself - and on your children. Because what you're doing now is just making you feel awful.

When I say stay at home, I don't mean pyjama days and crafts and films. I mean "right, now mummy has to hoover and do some cleaning (or whatever you need or want to do) so Jack why don't you "help" by dusting / sweeping (obviously not really but it keeps them busy) / why don't you go and play with your toys upstairs for a bit and then when that's done we can have a drink and biscuit, and then we'll walk the dog / go to Sainsbury's and choose dinner".

I mean: stop the constant entertainment. Do normal things round the house. Let them learn how to fit in with you. Let them learn to entertain themselves. It really will pay dividends.

Again, I don't mean this as a criticism. It's hard, really hard.

Do you have a partner ? Can they take a couple of days.Mine are older now ,but liked to curl up with a film or PS.Where do you live ,We are near the coast and sea air tends to tire them out!Also baking some cakes or bics (not every day!) Swimming maybe perhaps early to beat the rush.

Is their dad around? If so what is he doing? If he can't get the same annual leave he'll at least be around some of the days and needs to either take one or both so you get a break. I'd definitely still put the youngest in nursery on the one day you can.

I also dislike Feb half term we only have one but he has some additional needs and is very full on. We are going away, but only because our summer holiday last year was cancelled because of my health.

No wonder you're stressed! Rushing around every day hither and thither.

It might be a good idea to have a week at home and start getting them used to the idea that they can just play with toys / draw / mess in the garden / read books (if they're old enough) / watch some TV. Around chores like shopping and cleaning and laundry.

I'm not saying do nothing all week, but we never used to try to spend every day out of the house and children learn quickly enough how to entertain themselves and how to fit in with normal day-to-day household life. Activities were things like "helping" to bake and decorate biscuits. Soft play was on very rare occasions for birthdays etc.

Slow everything down, don't stress yourself out by trying to wrangle both of them at soft play or a NT property.

Take one day at a time
plan a thing for every day - to get out somewhere when its is their worst time
each day plan a small treat - a trip to
the sweet shop, a small present shop, getting a nee set of pens for eg, a baking afternoon, a film afternoon, a get muddy afternoon, a trip to local animal sanctuary, a pretend spa day with face packs ( i found lavender oil in bath good for my dc)
…. cheap things. Do they have any intrests?
Also build In rewards for yourself- ! X

It could be worse and you could be like me - a 9yo who is largely unable to leave the house and a 15yo who wants lifts to meet his friends most days. For me, half term is about not also having to work whilst navigating the challenges of having one child in burnout and another who wants a normal life.

I'd give anything for a walk in the fresh air - even if it is pouring with rain!

February half-term is the worst. Cold wet and miserable. DS is autistic and thrives on routine so not having school in the morning means constant meltdowns, then just as he gets used to it he's back, cue another week of meltdowns. Does it sound awful to say that I miss my 3 hours of downtime when he's off school?
No advice, although NT sounds good, we'll likely be stuck in the house. He loves swimming and being outside but can't cope with too many people so that's that. No way he'd sit and watch anything, maybe 10 minutes if I'm lucky.
So I don't have any advice other than to reward yourself at the end of the day for getting through. My reward is reading for half an hour after DH is home. I need that to recharge.

Try telling teachers that when some people can’t face a week with a couple of children.