To be really dreading half term

icecreaminspain · 2026-02-11T15:17:12+00:00

I know I’m going to get a load of YABU, I cherished every moment with mine type replies but I am. I just really don’t enjoy parenting my two together and so holidays obviously force this situation, Christmas nearly killed me. I don’t need anyone telling me I’m horrible - jus interested if I’m alone in this!

Eastie77Returns · 18/02/2026 21:09

icecreaminspain · 14/02/2026 10:06

It’s an issue, not the issue. The issue is that two kids are exhausting and relentless in a way I didn’t realise before I had them! That said, I wouldn’t change it now … I don’t think. But ideally maybe I’d have had a bigger gap. That probably brings challenges in its wake too though.

Well I totally get it. Mine are 10 and 12 now but I had some very dark days managing the two of them together when they were tiny. I lived in a family friendly area of London with tons of activities for children and we had NT membership so my issue wasn’t lack of things to do. It was just the sheer stress of dealing with a two under 5 for the entire day. Getting them both dressed and out of the house. Dealing with the crying, tantrums, demands, having to pack snacks, wipes, nappies and god knows what else just for a day out. Honestly I’m shivering just remembering all of this.

Of course there were lovely times but on the whole I’m so much happier now they are older (although there are new challenges that come along as they grow up - I won’t depress you with a list of those😅).

Ignore the “aww it’s so sad you’re not enjoying them now” comments. It’s not sad, just realistic. Parenting very young children is exhausting and hard!

ThatAgileRosePanda · 14/02/2026 13:04

I remember it well, and I remember thinking it was just me feeling like that, you are not alone. It doesn’t last forever honestly. Your kids will be a bit more independent before you know it, and will meet their friends and entertain themselves more.

We’re all different and have different levels of support and other challenges going on. Fair play to those that relish the school holidays but that wasn’t me when my children were small 😅.

Original poster

icecreaminspain · 14/02/2026 10:06

It’s an issue, not the issue. The issue is that two kids are exhausting and relentless in a way I didn’t realise before I had them! That said, I wouldn’t change it now … I don’t think. But ideally maybe I’d have had a bigger gap. That probably brings challenges in its wake too though.

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cinnamongirl123 · 14/02/2026 09:46

Totally agree OP. Mine’s older but it’s simply very challenging in very different ways 😫

Moonnstarz · 14/02/2026 09:15

icecreaminspain · 14/02/2026 08:58

That’s why I didn’t really mention what I did as I didn’t think it was relevant.

Probably the best option is to be a non teaching parent but married to a teacher! 😅

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I think this is the issue. Your DH doesn't consider the need for childcare over school holidays as he knows you are available. When does he actually book time off? I hope he isn't one of those men who takes his leave when they are at school...
I think you need to look at how his leave is spread out. My husband gets 22 days a year, we then spread this across the year during school holidays so he is home as well.

Original poster

icecreaminspain · 14/02/2026 08:58

Hodgemollar · 14/02/2026 07:33

Isn’t that everyone though? Basically 100% of the parents I know use their annual leave to cover school holidays and also mind their children during that time. It’s hardly unique to teachers.

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That’s why I didn’t really mention what I did as I didn’t think it was relevant.

Probably the best option is to be a non teaching parent but married to a teacher! 😅

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Hodgemollar · 14/02/2026 07:33

icecreaminspain · 13/02/2026 21:41

So do I …

That’s the problem, isn’t it? My holidays aren’t a rest, not even close!

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Isn’t that everyone though? Basically 100% of the parents I know use their annual leave to cover school holidays and also mind their children during that time. It’s hardly unique to teachers.

MrsCplus · 14/02/2026 06:29

I have 4 and I can’t wait, no wet school runs, no having to wash and dry uniform (dryer has blobbed)no yelling to get a move on in the mornings. Going to have a cosy week with movies and video games not going to bother with screen time restrictions and have snacks. Play with pets, read books and quiet crafts.

Kelly1969 · 13/02/2026 23:37

icecreaminspain · 13/02/2026 21:14

It definitely isn’t about non parents not being allowed to have an opinion, it’s more about it not being a thread that’s about opinions. It’s jus a thread where I’m sharing some feelings; those feelings may or may not be reasonable but either way, I still have them ☺️

@Kelly1969 - I am a teacher! I DON’T appreciate the time off because I invariably return to school more wrung out and exhausted than in my ‘normal’ week!

I do need to speak to DH about sharing the holidays a bit so I get a break, because as it is I think because I am ‘there’ he sort of sees it as no need to take annual leave unless we’re actually on holiday. I do have one day with just my ds which I am looking forward to

Haha, I must have missed that bit or you didn’t mention that?!
Fair play to you, I’m just a TA, so I get much less pay but also much less responsibility and work, I wouldn’t want your job!
How old are your kids, have they also been tricky when together or is it a recent thing, kids go thru phases of hating each other or just being a nightmare when together

BrendaSmall · 13/02/2026 22:59

I used to live for half term!
Id much rather have my 3 girls home than at school, it was so much easier!
Now im the same with my grandchildren,
whoooo hoooo half term next week, I can’t wait!!

Original poster

icecreaminspain · 13/02/2026 21:41

BigButtons · 13/02/2026 21:40

As someone full on a very hard primary classroom o can tell you that I am on my knees. This last week I have gone to bed as soon as i have got home. I need a rest.

So do I …

That’s the problem, isn’t it? My holidays aren’t a rest, not even close!

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BigButtons · 13/02/2026 21:40

As someone full on a very hard primary classroom o can tell you that I am on my knees. This last week I have gone to bed as soon as i have got home. I need a rest.

Coffeeandbooks88 · 13/02/2026 21:35

Lludmilla · 13/02/2026 12:51

Well, obviously being childfree I acknowledge that I don't have the level of understanding of this that people with children do. And I wasn't accusing you of not spending time with them (also I understand the distinction you're making re parenting them together being harder, and that it wasn't possible to gauge this before having a second), but what is standing out for me is the strongly negative terms you're using to describe parenting them both together. You've used terms like 'highly stressful', 'hard, hard work', 'overwhelming', Christmas 'nearly killed' you, 'hate' parenting them together, and you sound very resentful of the noise and mess. I just wonder if your DC could be picking up on this?

You also sound like you're keeping score re career sacrifices, having to parent when you're on holiday etc. Although I do feel it's really unfair men don't have to make the same sacrifices, presumably having kids was a choice you made freely having discussed the role split with your DH, but I'm wondering if you are now feeling some resentment around this?

I know I sound unsympathetic and I don't actually mean to - I totally acknowledge that as a non-parent I can't fully understand, and I would have felt exactly the same way had I had kids tbh. It just gets to me a bit when people complain about spending downtime with their children, partly because I know quite a few people who can't have any, and partly because my own mum seemed to find parenting me a massive drag and didn't really trouble to hide it a lot of the time. Kids do pick up on these things.

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The reason parents who experienced infertility then experience PND is because they are expected to enjoy every single moment of having children. No we don't have to. I bet even your infertile friends if they had been successful would find parenting hard.

Original poster

icecreaminspain · 13/02/2026 21:34

Coffeeandbooks88 · 13/02/2026 21:29

I had IVF to have my two. I actually hate the way my preschooler is at the moment. He is likely autistic but I can't wait for school!

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It’s really hard. I was in my forties when I had mine and so I’d had many years of longing.

No one is saying we don’t love them, and the thing is, even when it’s harder for me I do right by them: I could put my older child into sports clubs for the week but it wouldn’t be fair on him and he’s more important.

But under the cloak of anonymity I can admit that it’s hard, tiring, makes me frazzled and tired and irritable. Surely?

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Coffeeandbooks88 · 13/02/2026 21:31

Luckyingame · 13/02/2026 20:35

@Lludmilla

Stop explaining yourself, there is no need.
It's an opinion forum, I understand that child free people are actually "allowed" to have one.
Agree with your points.
(I knew I didn't have any interest in cancelling my life for the sake of procreation since the age of 13, and am eternally grateful that I didn't fall into this trap).

Why do child free people need to comment about their decisions to avoid having children. Do you fancy me going on to the child free board and talking about my kids?

Coffeeandbooks88 · 13/02/2026 21:29

icecreaminspain · 13/02/2026 20:33

Thanks. To be fair the end is in sight … they are getting easier, just when I’m exhausted I feel all dramatic about it! I teach myself so the holidays should ideally be a break for me but they just aren’t.

@Lludmilla tbh there’s nothing much to disagree with! I feel how I feel … others don’t, great. And sorry, but you did tell me at length how wrong it was to feel this way when others can’t have children. FYI, women who struggle with very young children and women who struggled with fertility are not mutually exclusive.

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I had IVF to have my two. I actually hate the way my preschooler is at the moment. He is likely autistic but I can't wait for school!

Original poster

icecreaminspain · 13/02/2026 21:14

It definitely isn’t about non parents not being allowed to have an opinion, it’s more about it not being a thread that’s about opinions. It’s jus a thread where I’m sharing some feelings; those feelings may or may not be reasonable but either way, I still have them ☺️

@Kelly1969 - I am a teacher! I DON’T appreciate the time off because I invariably return to school more wrung out and exhausted than in my ‘normal’ week!

I do need to speak to DH about sharing the holidays a bit so I get a break, because as it is I think because I am ‘there’ he sort of sees it as no need to take annual leave unless we’re actually on holiday. I do have one day with just my ds which I am looking forward to

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FamilynotMaiden · 13/02/2026 21:01

@icecreaminspain Ex (primary) teacher here so understand how it can feel. You exhaust yourself looking after other people's children to the point of being on your knees, then when it your "holiday" it actually isn't, because of course you have your own! And then of course you get the compulsory half-term cold because your immunity is done in!!
I did it for 21 years and now EOTAS tutor by day - no regrets. I really enjoy my family time now and actually have a life outside of work.
I have 3 kids - one at uni, one almost 16, one 5. My husband has taken annual leave for the Thursday and Friday to give me some time child-free - could your husband do something like this over the school holidays? I probably won't do anything too exciting; probably catch up with a friend for coffee, go for a bit of mooch around the shops, but I come back feeling so much better for it x

NewTricks2026 · 13/02/2026 20:44

It was dry at pick up today so I thought I’d risk a visit to the playground. We were there 10 minutes and it poured with rain. We got absolutely soaked 😭 no umbrella obviously, as it was dry when I left home.

Walked back and made the kids a hot chocolate and put a movie on…. It kept them occupied for the time it took them to drain the drink and then they were bored.

So I’ve gone and fucked half term now.
Playground in the rain ✅
Hot chocolate ✅
Movie ✅

All my ideas gone in one afternoon 😆 send thoughts and prayers.

Kelly1969 · 13/02/2026 20:37

Best cure for half term blues?
Get a job in a school, then you’ll appreciate that time off!
Not sure YABU but it’s an odd thing to say that you don’t enjoy parenting your kids together, that’s family life, did you envisage parenting your kids individually in a shift pattern?

Luckyingame · 13/02/2026 20:35

@Lludmilla

Stop explaining yourself, there is no need.
It's an opinion forum, I understand that child free people are actually "allowed" to have one.
Agree with your points.
(I knew I didn't have any interest in cancelling my life for the sake of procreation since the age of 13, and am eternally grateful that I didn't fall into this trap).

Original poster

icecreaminspain · 13/02/2026 20:33

FamilynotMaiden · 13/02/2026 19:38

@icecreaminspain It seems to me like your husband is working long hours which I do appreciate means you are understandably left picking up the majority of the childcare. How many hours a week do you work? Could you push your hours up and your husband reduce his so that you are sharing the load of things (work and childcare) more equally?

Edited

Thanks. To be fair the end is in sight … they are getting easier, just when I’m exhausted I feel all dramatic about it! I teach myself so the holidays should ideally be a break for me but they just aren’t.

@Lludmilla tbh there’s nothing much to disagree with! I feel how I feel … others don’t, great. And sorry, but you did tell me at length how wrong it was to feel this way when others can’t have children. FYI, women who struggle with very young children and women who struggled with fertility are not mutually exclusive.

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FamilynotMaiden · 13/02/2026 19:38

@icecreaminspain It seems to me like your husband is working long hours which I do appreciate means you are understandably left picking up the majority of the childcare. How many hours a week do you work? Could you push your hours up and your husband reduce his so that you are sharing the load of things (work and childcare) more equally?

UltraAlox5 · 13/02/2026 19:36

This half term is the awful one. I’ve not even booked it off work - I’ve put the kids into clubs. They will have much more fun.

AskAggie · 13/02/2026 19:35

It’s completely understandable to feel this way. Parenting two little ones at once—especially around holidays—can be exhausting and overwhelming, and it’s normal that you don’t enjoy every moment. Feeling frustrated or even that it’s ‘shit’ doesn’t make you a bad parent—it just means you’re human and dealing with a lot. Sometimes, just accepting that it’s hard can be surprisingly relieving, and can help you cope without feeling guilty. You’re definitely not alone in this.