To think there's no such thing as a "soft life"?

Blimey, by the end of primary school my kids knew that having to live off meagre benefits would be the absolute pits!

Telling kids to work their arses off at school so they can have an interesting career, would - in time - equate to a soft life. Soft life being a comfortable, contented existence in which you have choices.

Although this only really works for those who are able. Some people are always going to be working in a warehouse whether they try hard at school or not.

Insisting that life has to be a slog and a grind seems like shooting yourself in the foot a bit. You only get one life and it's up to you to make it as enjoyable as you can, on your terms, with the hand you're dealt, accepting that there are going to be moments when it's really hard.

I have a nice life, and it's nice because I made decisions that led me to it. My job can be hard and stressful but it's ultimately something I'm passionate about. I have it because I didn't stop until I got my foot in the door of the industry (and went through many broke years until that happened). I worked out earlier what level of affluence would make me happy - and more importantly what level of affluence would require too much of a sacrifice - and have attained it. My family were toxic, so I cut them off. I found my chosen family of amazing friends because I actively sought out people like me.

You only get the life you want if you take some control over it. I find the number of people who are passengers in huge life decisions quite amazing.

I accept there's a lot of privilege and luck involved in that, but I wasn't dealt a good hand as a child at all. I actually think that made me more focused in getting the exact life I wanted, with no pressure from other people.

It sounds like it's just the latest trend, then (though I haven't seen it personally). It won't last long, not the first and won't be the last, and sounds less potentially damaging than some of the other nonsense spouted on the Internet.

Times are hard for a lot of people, but I also think many today feel harder done by than they actually are, if they could but look back and realise how difficult life was in the not so distant past. We've lost hold of some things along the way, like a strong sense of community, but there are so many aspects of my life that are much 'softer' than what my grandparents or great-grandparents experienced, expected, or even hoped for.

It's human nature for most of us to want to find an easy life, but reality usually kicks some sense into us sooner or later, if we didn't have family, teachers, or mentors to guide us along the way.

I'd imagine that most people 'living on benefits' are severely disabled & housebound so I certainly don't envy them. If that isn't the case, who on earth is living on benefits?

I have a highish paying job that funds my soft life. Working in hospitality and then working looking after disabled children means I see most office laptop jobs as “soft” though.

Often there are no perfect solutions in life. This becomes especially apparent when children arrive. They bring with them a shed-load of continuous, relentless, unpaid work and responsibility which still, despite everything, tends to fall disproportionately on women.

This leaves many women with unpalatable choices. Work full-time, spend a huge chunk of income on childcare, get home exhausted to evenings spent doing childcare and household chores and then have to get up with babies/small children several times through the night. But you preserve your career progression and your pension. Work part-time, lose some of these, and end up doing everything at home because you're the one working less. But still all your time is spent working or doing childcare. Or don't work, but then you're financially dependent and it can be difficult to get back to work when the kids are a bit older and more independent so there's the danger of being left feeling undervalued and superfluous and having the financial rug pulled from under you if your relationship fails. Show me the option that doesn't screw female parents over in some way. And it's fine to say that no woman should depend financially on a man, but again children and the demands they create often throw a spanner in the works and make it exponentionally harder to remain independent and leave if things go wrong.

I won't make myself popular here, but does anyone know about the links between the civil rights movement and material economic changes happening at the same time? anyone thought about how feminism is reduced to arguments around labour, housework and paid employment in the 70's and looked at what was happening in the economy? how shifts in labour process and changes to what was produced and how seemed to jigsaw so perfectly with feminist demands?

I suspect that these young people that OP derides are on to something. Having read Marx yonks ago "the fragment on machines" points to a crisis from which capital doesn't rally, and a new way of life. AI is literally writing your essay as it spits out your future.

Hard work does not pay, and it hasn't done so for quite some time.

Life is hard, but my goodness some people get dealt more crap through no fault of their own. I've watched things happen to people I love that are far worse than the genuinely shitty things that have happened to me.

I know exactly what you're talking about OP. It's a a combination of Andrew Tate and surrendered wives, isn't it? Women can have a great life in a beautiful home floating from gym to hair appointment to mall, looking beautiful and having nothing more pressing to worry about than where to have lunch. All they need to do is lose all these ideas of careers, because that's just making life harder. Find a man, support him to be successful, make him happy, and its all so much nicer for everyone.

I live the soft life atm. But it requires compromises.

I sold my home and moved back in with family.
My life is easy. I only have to work part time. So long as I don't get sick, I don't see it changing. Obviously the compromise is sharing a home. But I travel a lot so it's actually not as big if an issue as I worried it might be. I moved home so that I could afford to go see the world etc...

Just don't have kids. That's the biggest mistake you can make if you want to live life on easy mode. Because sometimes...we move back in with you! Haha

I think as long as you keep healthy and avoid having children and learn to say 'no' to people, life is only as hard as you make it. A lot of people are scared to go against the grain with things too becayse they care too much about other people's opinions. I've had people pity me for moving home and I'm like 'I'm living my best life so...'.

I see it on tiktok, it's mainly content creators who have / want to marry rich. They are always in their 20s too and young and beautiful, but you never see older people say things like that, they've probably had too much life experience 🤣
Of course there's always people richer than us or people we may be envious off but everyone has their issues and struggles throughout life.

I would love to have a soft life, if soft equates to happy. Not sure what OP is trying to describe.

I can believe there is a phenomena "soft life" whereby young people don't push themselves to work hard, and harder still, and exponentially harder than every other generation just to find they still can't afford housing or to have a family. It just does 'not math'

AI, capitalism on its knees, war, monopoly, and lack of opportunities is bound to shape the way that people think and behave, what they can achieve and what they aspire to.