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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many women have either been sexually harassed in the street in the teenager or have a daughter who has?

238 replies

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 11:59

For context I'm Gen Z. I live in a very quiet neighbourhood & through my teens was never harassed. There's lots of building works in my area often but builders have always been fine & so has everyone else. I've never witnessed anyone else my age being harassed either (nor adult women). Some of my friends are the same, some unfortunately not (most don't live in my area)

However, I know this is not typical. I've read so much on here about people being harassed in school uniform, having daughters harassed etc. How common is this? Surveys show pretty high results too...

Was it always like this? Has it got worse or better? I've read some arguments it was worse in 70s-80s, others that online misogyny & porn has made harassment of teens worse.

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PevenseygirlQQ · 11/02/2026 13:10

As a teen in the 00’s all the time by grown men.
Lots of girls at my school had boyfriends that were 19/20/21 and we were 15/16 and no one batted an eyelid.

In my 20’s when I used to club all the time, yes also, I’ve had men lift up my top, my skirt, touch my ass, grab me - it really was awful.

heatdeath · 11/02/2026 13:08

I'm 51, I think I'm either a) the only woman in the country not to be be randomly harassed or b) completely bloody oblivious to it (I'm not at all disbelieving that street harassment is endemic).

Betweentwocheeseplants · 11/02/2026 13:07

Numerous times as a teenager – ranging from grown men telling 13-year-old me I was "beautiful" to three occasions of being flashed. Once when I was about 14 I was on the train on my own (afternoon, broad daylight) and a man probably in his 40s unzipped his pants and started masturbating next to me. I was terrified but ignored him and got out at the next stop (and never told anyone as I was embarrassed). When I was 18, a cab driver did the same thing to a friend and myself when we were on our way home after a night out. It's really grim.

Contrarymary30 · 11/02/2026 13:06

I've been sexually harassed 4 times in the 60s when I was a teenager . Once a male ran past me and put his hand up my skirt . Twice by father's of friends who wanted me to sit on their knee or kiss them . One serious imo . Best friends step dad came up into friends bedroom and tried to grope my friend and involve me . She attacked him and the police were called , apparently he had sexually abused her for years but she'd never told anyone . He was told to leave the house but never prosecuted. We used to see him walking around with very young girls . It's a sadness to me that she endured this and couldn't tell me .

Lalalol · 11/02/2026 13:04

Lalalol · 11/02/2026 13:01

I’m 51 now. I’d say I’ve suffered sexual harassment in every decade. At secondary school it was constant - men shouting comments from cars (very much not just white vans). Then at work inappropriate touching. Comments on the street have never stopped

from chatting with friends I think being blonde and curvier def makes it worse but I don’t know anyone at all who hasn’t experienced this

ive also pretty much never been on a work night out where some man, usually married, hasn’t made some kind of comment/advance. which has been invited in absolutely no way

the older I get the more my opinion of men in general gets worse

Actually the most disturbing incidents were when I was younger than 10. I have 4 clear memories of men (either my dad’s friends or friend’s dads) trying to get me to sit on their knee/playing with my hair/rubbing my leg. I knew even at that age it was wrong

its not all men but it is an awful lot more than most people want to admit

LakieLady · 11/02/2026 13:03

It was happening in the 60s, when I was at secondary school.

I was regularly harrassed, cat called etc by workmen, van drivers etc, and sexually assaulted on a crowded bus on my way home from school.

WearyAuldWumman · 11/02/2026 13:03

I was a middle manager in a Scottish secondary. In my final year in my permanent post (2017-18 ) I had to ask the Depute to contact the local police because a man had flashed some of my senior girls, just in front of the school main entrance.

I'm actually rather proud of the girls - they pointed and laughed. He fled.

I don't think the police ever turned up at the school.

TheKeatingFive · 11/02/2026 13:02

Yes, in the 90s/early 00s. It hasn't happened recently. I am older (40s) and probably not as desirable as I once was. I don't hide though, I love clothes and wear skirts/dresses frequently.

Meadowfinch · 11/02/2026 13:01

Harassment started when I was 11, on a family holiday in Tenby. A man (in his 20s I guess) tried to persuade me to "go for a walk with him" in the sand dunes. I didn't know about sex but I had enough sense to run away.

Later that summer my mum sent me to a neighbour with a bag of apples from the garden. She wasn't there. Her husband pinned me against a kitchen cabinet and kissed me. I bit him and fled.

Other highlights - being sexually assaulted on a BA night flight home from LA.

It went on until my late 40s. Being post-meno and single is joyous.

Lalalol · 11/02/2026 13:01

I’m 51 now. I’d say I’ve suffered sexual harassment in every decade. At secondary school it was constant - men shouting comments from cars (very much not just white vans). Then at work inappropriate touching. Comments on the street have never stopped

from chatting with friends I think being blonde and curvier def makes it worse but I don’t know anyone at all who hasn’t experienced this

ive also pretty much never been on a work night out where some man, usually married, hasn’t made some kind of comment/advance. which has been invited in absolutely no way

the older I get the more my opinion of men in general gets worse

BelleEpoque27 · 11/02/2026 12:59

Disturbia81 · 11/02/2026 12:51

I can’t relate to the invisible comments either, it’s got worse for me. The amount of women on here who say “I’m invisible now I’m 40” I think they are desperately trying to make themselves invisible.

I am a lot fatter than I used to be, and I mostly wear fairly boring clothes. I like the invisibility, yes.

JohnBullshit · 11/02/2026 12:59

Sure. Not during the school day, but certainly outside of school, by men who could either guess from the uniform that I was at school, or knew my age.

KeepOffTheQuinoa · 11/02/2026 12:59

All my friends, all their daughters, all my DC’s friends.

Normal area, going into town, public transport, etc etc.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 12:57

fuzzwuss · 11/02/2026 12:56

I think builders have got better, random whistling nowadays is something that I have only experienced from cars driving by.

My daughter has not had any abuse on the street from men, but was assaulted by a completely random female last summer. DD was walking with three friends on a shopping street with traffic and cafes, daytime in Summer, when this person grabbed at them, shouted at them, told them they were dressed like sluts and were asking to be assaulted (ironically as she was at the time actually assaulting them) and attempted to pull up their tops, or pull down skirts, pawing at their clothing. A number of passersby, including a "white van man" intervened to help the girls, and threatened to call the police.

That sounds utterly bizarre : maybe mentally ill? Though of course women do also harass.

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HopSpringsEternal · 11/02/2026 12:57

I have been wolf whistled at multiple times, shouted at from cars, been approsched in the street, twice been asked how much I charged (once was in an area that was sa jit of a red light district but I was cycling and wearing a helmet and fucking water proofs). I've been flashed at four times.
I have numerous numerous numerous times in approached in bars and clubs and had to repeatedly say no to advances.
Though it shouldn't make any difference. I dress in a kind of asexual way (ie combats and tshirt, no make up and trainers).

DD says nothing has happened to her, but DH and I have both seen men eyeing a up and down which is vile and a couple of times making a comment. From aged 12 up. I would now view this as harassment but she is completely unaware of it. So probably says she hasn't ever been harassed.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 12:56

Shayisgreat · 11/02/2026 12:37

I think things on the street have possibly got a bit better but that's because now they can do it online!

Men haven't really become any less creepy but they used to be more overt in public.

Good point. Reddit for one is a cesspit..

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PickledMuffin · 11/02/2026 12:56

Yes, several times.

fuzzwuss · 11/02/2026 12:56

I think builders have got better, random whistling nowadays is something that I have only experienced from cars driving by.

My daughter has not had any abuse on the street from men, but was assaulted by a completely random female last summer. DD was walking with three friends on a shopping street with traffic and cafes, daytime in Summer, when this person grabbed at them, shouted at them, told them they were dressed like sluts and were asking to be assaulted (ironically as she was at the time actually assaulting them) and attempted to pull up their tops, or pull down skirts, pawing at their clothing. A number of passersby, including a "white van man" intervened to help the girls, and threatened to call the police.

WearyAuldWumman · 11/02/2026 12:55

I was certainly harassed in the '70s. The first time, I was 11 yrs old. The culprit was a large, bearded male.

Octavia64 · 11/02/2026 12:54

No.

i don’t know why not. It seems to have been an almost universal experience. Teen in the 90s.

however I was usually described as scary and violent (I am not violent but apparently I give that impression) by my friends.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 12:52

Everyone's Invited definitely showed how bad harassment can be in mixed schools still. Probably worse now due to porn.

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Disturbia81 · 11/02/2026 12:51

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 11/02/2026 12:37

It started when I was 11 and I'm now 50. It hasn't stopped. Am I "invisible" yet? 🙏🙏🙏

I can’t relate to the invisible comments either, it’s got worse for me. The amount of women on here who say “I’m invisible now I’m 40” I think they are desperately trying to make themselves invisible.

Vintageblueribbon · 11/02/2026 12:50

Im 47 years old and have had this since school

A lad touching you in your private parts while walking to next class?
'Oh he likes you!'

A lad trying to slip his hand up your top?
'He was only joking!'

A lad trying to finger you through your trousers while standing in lines for a school photo and shoving his fingers under his mates noses and laughing about the smell?
'Didn't happen as he wouldn't have done it so close to a teacher'

(Same men are now fathers to daughters according to fb)

Walking down the street aged about 14,a bloke followed me,telling me in a low voice what he wanted to do to me-and it was disturbing

Harassed in the street,work,clubbing,on the bus,trains,the supermarket-anywhere i dared to be

I've worked at my workplace for 10 years been touched up 11 times and had men harassing me with 'dirty talk' at least once a week (one did have a form of dementia and his wife explained this to me and was very sorry-the rest dont and have wives and girlfriends screaming at you that they didnt do it)

They come through the drive thru flashing their willy/wanking themselves off (its so common i warn new starters,young girls,first job and they dont believe me until it happens)

Bloke i went on one date with thought it was acceptable to find out where I lived and would come round shouting sexual comments through my letterbox at midnight with my dc asleep in bed (more than once)-nothing happened,police couldn't have sounded more bored and asked why id bothered to report it

Trigger warning

I've been raped twice (ones girlfriend stood and screamed at me in the court waiting room-theyd put us together-about how i was 'making it all up to get him into trouble')

He got off-a nice,good looking man with a good career and a lovely girlfriend meant he wouldn't do something like that to the two,not 'perfect' victims (me a 35 year old single mum and a 23 year old student)

The other got off by saying it id enjoyed it but 'went a bit funny afterwards'

That didnt even make it to court and he seemed to think it gave him the right to harass me in the street if we bumped into each other-police didnt even have a word with him

My own daughters have reported that they've been touched up/spoken to in a sexual way and the police do nothing

It's laughed off as 'he likes you' or 'he says he didnt do it'

They have learned nothing from the 2 women a week that die from the hands of men and I can't see this changing anytime soon

It's so fucking depressing,we deserve more

Idontthinkibelonghere · 11/02/2026 12:49

No, never.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 12:48

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 11/02/2026 12:43

If you have somehow reached 20 without ever being sexually harassed (which I very much doubt, tbh), including online, then I’m genuinely delighted for you. I hope you continue to avoid it.

What are you hoping to discover with this thread? It seems a bit prurient - lots of “oh, that’s terrible” from you. You doing a spot of trauma tourism?

I started it because it's one of the most serious signs of misogyny in UK imo but it's also one I have the least personal experience of. Is it getting more common? Was it always this bad? Why do so many men behave like this? How to stop it? Why do so few people intervene?

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