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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many women have either been sexually harassed in the street in the teenager or have a daughter who has?

238 replies

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 11:59

For context I'm Gen Z. I live in a very quiet neighbourhood & through my teens was never harassed. There's lots of building works in my area often but builders have always been fine & so has everyone else. I've never witnessed anyone else my age being harassed either (nor adult women). Some of my friends are the same, some unfortunately not (most don't live in my area)

However, I know this is not typical. I've read so much on here about people being harassed in school uniform, having daughters harassed etc. How common is this? Surveys show pretty high results too...

Was it always like this? Has it got worse or better? I've read some arguments it was worse in 70s-80s, others that online misogyny & porn has made harassment of teens worse.

OP posts:
Upstartled · 11/02/2026 13:52

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 11/02/2026 13:50

Thinking about it and looking back I now do wonder if that the biggest regional difference - men being more likely to step in and say something.

With the street harassment, it was always worst if you were walking home alone, or with other girls. It never happened when you were walking home with a boy or in a mixed group.

JuliettaCaeser · 11/02/2026 13:52

Flashed at 3 times. First two male bosses were perves. Constant street harassment. I am not particularly surprised by the Epstein files most men are absolute dogs on heat.

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 11/02/2026 13:50

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:39

Men did step in : that's good to hear. That needs to happen much more often.

Thinking about it and looking back I now do wonder if that the biggest regional difference - men being more likely to step in and say something.

Pureclass · 11/02/2026 13:49

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:47

Have women including teens been harassed like this always? I guess in previous times young girls weren't allowed out alone so much- which obviously isn't the solution.

Edited

My grandmother told me about dirty old men hiding in bushes touching themselves when she was coming home from school in the early 1930s.
Apparently they were told to laugh at them and the boys threw stones.
So absolutely not something that hasnt always happened to women and girls

itsthetea · 11/02/2026 13:49

Harressment was normal - jeering and the like , sexual comments

friends were flashed

80s

Pureclass · 11/02/2026 13:47

Going to an all girls school, on quite a large semi rural site in the early 90s we seemed to constantly be either kept in at lunch time/had games cancelled. Or be rushed in by a bell being run, due to a stream of men being caught wanking in the bushes or exposing themselves.

We also had to be escorted to the train station as there were men there who would blatantly flash and touch themselves on the platform.

Nothing ever seemed to be done about this. I attended there for primary and some of secondary and it was all the time. But I never remember any police being involved. Just "girls cover your eyes and return to the school buildings"

We also did PE in artex shirts and big knickers which probably played into some sickos fantasy.

In the late 90s I worked in a supermarket from 16-20, I looked very young. I was sexually harassed a lot by the department manager. He was awful to a lot of the part time girls. We were to afraid of him to complain.

In my first professional job, 3 trainees, me included were harassed by a male senior. Touched in cupboards, inappropriate chat, groping on nights out.
Eventually after being told we were being too sensitive he was fired....but in reality this was because he wasn't doing his job properly not because of our complaints.

The owner of the company was also a massive sleaze....kisses on your birthday and neck massages.

All of this was from about 9 to 21

DreamingOfGeneHunt · 11/02/2026 13:47

Teen in the 90s. Yes I was.

Started when I was 11. I would be in my school uniform when it happened the most.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:47

Have women including teens been harassed like this always? I guess in previous times young girls weren't allowed out alone so much- which obviously isn't the solution.

OP posts:
JuliettaCaeser · 11/02/2026 13:45

Pretty frequently aged 14-28 as was conventionally attractive. Too many incidents to begin to list.

Dd aged 17 also now gets street harassment just been in a group that have whistle blown on a group of boys making persistent grim misogynistic comments to girls. School taking it very seriously some are being expelled. So ime it’s endemic.

Waitingfordoggo · 11/02/2026 13:43

I don’t remember it happening to me when I was a teen- however, I don’t have a good memory, and I am also not very observant so am often in my own world and don’t notice what others are doing or saying.

My DD (who is now 20) has had it happen a lot. Men leering out of cars at her when she was walking to school (in uniform). When she was 11, I was waiting outside a shop for her and when she came out she showed me a gesture and asked me what it meant (‘peace’ fingers either side of mouth with tongue wagging 🤢) as the shop assistant had done it at her. I didn’t tell her exactly what it was supposed to represent as she was 11 so I just said it was something obscene and he was a disgusting man. She has had loads of that kind of thing throughout her teen years. Now she’s 20 she says it doesn’t happen much anymore.

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 11/02/2026 13:42

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:33

Probably all of those. I've never witnessed it happen to someone else either...
How does someone know when it IS directed at them? Presumably when it's from someone close by?

As you say, people don't want to intervene for safety reasons often (or just don't want to hassle) and may try to then tell themselves the girl hasn't noticed.

Edited

I have seen it and stepped in and said oi - but usually wasn't alone - though one occaion was with my young DC. Also asked if they are alright - often enough to get men to move on - or eye rolled with them at some shouted comments.

It depends - if it phyical be more likely to step in shouted comments unless catch eye don't want to make it more of a thing and embarrass the girl more.

I've seen men - young and old say knock it off as well.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:39

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 11/02/2026 13:35

It was rife where I grew up - being well developed from young age didn't help.

Was less so in northern city then went to as a student - then nearish city to where I grew up was fine then a southern town pretty bad but surrounding areas fine and men did step in. Don't think it's hugely bad here - it happens but much rarer and less blantent than where I grew up - my teen DDs seem to avoid it.

Mostly for me comments occasionally touching knew to be careful on buses getting trapped next to some chancers so often bag next to you by window.

MIL says she never seen it but she was dating FIl from teen years and he's big man with lots of brothers and both from well known families in area - and she tends not to notice much round her - so she her view it's exaggerated or women being over senstive as she hasn't experienced it.

Men did step in : that's good to hear. That needs to happen much more often.

OP posts:
ArtificialStupidity · 11/02/2026 13:37

All the time in my teens and in my 20s.

Did not matter what I wore. Did not matter what type of environment I was in, it happened in fancy ski resorts, at balls, in the workplace, at football matches, in nightclubs, in sleepy village pubs ...

wishingonastar101 · 11/02/2026 13:37

All the time as a teenager in the 90's... what is quite upsetting is that I looked very young... like more 12-14 than 18 and would be sexually harassed by grown men.
I used to get curb-crawled a lot by men in their cars... generally when I was walking home from college with a rucksack on. I must have looked like a school girl.
I hate it so much as I have daughters...

ThatGentleCoralCat · 11/02/2026 13:36

Used to happen all the time from when I was about 13 doing my paper round going past building sites, literally a daily occurrence if the builders were on site and I was quite clearly a young teenager doing a paper round for pocket money. Much less common experience these days and never from building sites now, although if I'm honest I'm not sure if that's because I'm now in my mid thirties and a size 16 so I appear to have reached blissful invisibility.

trappedCatAsleepOnMe · 11/02/2026 13:35

It was rife where I grew up - being well developed from young age didn't help.

Was less so in northern city then went to as a student - then nearish city to where I grew up was fine then a southern town pretty bad but surrounding areas fine and men did step in. Don't think it's hugely bad here - it happens but much rarer and less blantent than where I grew up - my teen DDs seem to avoid it.

Mostly for me comments occasionally touching knew to be careful on buses getting trapped next to some chancers so often bag next to you by window.

MIL says she never seen it but she was dating FIl from teen years and he's big man with lots of brothers and both from well known families in area - and she tends not to notice much round her - so she her view it's exaggerated or women being over senstive as she hasn't experienced it.

mrlistersgelfbride · 11/02/2026 13:35

I remember when I was 11 or 12 (1997 ish) walking down the street, a group of men stopped in a car saying “hello little girl, nice boobs” 😬
They there was the old peoples home owner who stuck his tongue in my mouth as we said goodbye after I did some volunteer work there with school , I was 14.
Countless cat calls. Had people following me round supermarkets.
A man asked loudly to see my punami on a train .. almost laughable.
Men saying “bouncy boobs” in the street.
There used to be a club i went to as a student it was a cattle market, you had to go past the top dance floor and there was a wall full of men waiting to grab your arse and I remember talking to someone and he literally put his hand on my bum under my knickers and tried to reach right round.

That’s just off the top of my head.
Im nearly 41 now and thank god I feel pretty invisible.

UniquePinkSwan · 11/02/2026 13:34

Never

Upstartled · 11/02/2026 13:33

Teen in the 90s, summer was the worst. Leering and yelling from cars was par for the course. Having to sit at the front of the bus so that you wouldn't get rounded in on by men trying to chat you up. Men pulling up in cars, pending they were lost and then asking you if you wanted a lift.

I wasn't sexually assaulted till I was in my early twenties though on the London underground, and then again when I was walking in a crowd on Oxford Street.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:33

Blueyrocks · 11/02/2026 13:30

I wonder if people tell themselves the girls haven't heard, or don't understand. And then, as well, I think if you're not the target, maybe you don't even notice it happening? I know it's a really common experience, because it was for me, but now I think about, I've never noticed it happen to another girl/ woman. Maybe it just sounds like background noise unless it's directed at you?

I also have to say, in some situations, I'd be afraid to intervene. Better to let creepy comments pass than to escalate, sometimes.

Probably all of those. I've never witnessed it happen to someone else either...
How does someone know when it IS directed at them? Presumably when it's from someone close by?

As you say, people don't want to intervene for safety reasons often (or just don't want to hassle) and may try to then tell themselves the girl hasn't noticed.

OP posts:
StopWindingBobStopWinding · 11/02/2026 13:32

I was born in the early 70s.

My first experience was walking home from school at 12, complete with long plaits. I looked like a little girl. A bunch of scaffolders in their lorry decided to shout horrible sexual things at me.

As a teen, a man flashed a group of about 8 of us girls in a park. Men shouted at us from vans and building sites regularly.

After I moved to London in the 90s, it continued. I was groped on an escalator by the man behind me. I got off a packed tube train one day to find semen all over the back of my coat.

All women I’ve spoken to about this have similar stories. I fully believe that the figure is at least the 97% reported in that poll.

Blueyrocks · 11/02/2026 13:30

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:20

Why do adults rarely seem to intervene when they see schoolchildren being harassed by adults? Fear? You'd hope someone might, at least sometimes.

I wonder if people tell themselves the girls haven't heard, or don't understand. And then, as well, I think if you're not the target, maybe you don't even notice it happening? I know it's a really common experience, because it was for me, but now I think about, I've never noticed it happen to another girl/ woman. Maybe it just sounds like background noise unless it's directed at you?

I also have to say, in some situations, I'd be afraid to intervene. Better to let creepy comments pass than to escalate, sometimes.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:29

forgetitplease · 11/02/2026 13:26

When I was a teenager it would happen every time I went out somewhere where I would be walking roughly a mile. Nowadays I don't tend to go anywhere on foot alone and I don't look like I used to, so it doesn't happen much these days.

Idk if it's sexual harassment as I'm unsure on the definition. But I'll tell you what would generally happen.

Cars with men inside beeping and/or leering out of the window. Builders or outdoor workmen whooping and whistling.

I've also (this is much less common and is probably SH) had my bottom grabbed, been pulled in for a hug and attempted kisses.

The worst one though, which still happens if I'm out without my DH, is the comments when I'm trying to have a normal and civilised chat with strangers for whatever reason. I've had some really degrading and disrespectful sexual comments aimed my way over the years. It's horrible and makes me feel so uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Yuk. Replying to your post has dragged up some grim memories of this behaviour. It's gross.

Whooping/leering/whistling etc is definitely sexual harassment. 🫂

OP posts:
Carla786 · 11/02/2026 13:27

Mama2many73 · 11/02/2026 13:25

From a female relative who has just started working in a large construction office, it may not be public but she says the comments and language used about girls/women is still there. She has very clearly stated that if she hears she will report and called out thise with daighters in particular, said 'oh you must be really comfortable about men talking about your daughters like that!'

Why DO builders seem to often be so creepy? Macho work culture? I read a Substack post by a US builder who said he knew builders who voted Trump and weren't bothered by the infamous Access Hollywood 'Grab 'em' tape because they heard much worse on building sites. Clearly not only in the US!

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 11/02/2026 13:27

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 11/02/2026 13:11

I tried to over the years. It isn't about age or conventional beauty, although those things can play a part. It is about hatred and control.

I can see why it would be about control but hatred? For me it’s chatting up, shouting compliments, saying sexual things in my ear, beeping, following me etc. definitely agree with control.