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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many women have either been sexually harassed in the street in the teenager or have a daughter who has?

238 replies

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 11:59

For context I'm Gen Z. I live in a very quiet neighbourhood & through my teens was never harassed. There's lots of building works in my area often but builders have always been fine & so has everyone else. I've never witnessed anyone else my age being harassed either (nor adult women). Some of my friends are the same, some unfortunately not (most don't live in my area)

However, I know this is not typical. I've read so much on here about people being harassed in school uniform, having daughters harassed etc. How common is this? Surveys show pretty high results too...

Was it always like this? Has it got worse or better? I've read some arguments it was worse in 70s-80s, others that online misogyny & porn has made harassment of teens worse.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 11/02/2026 20:47

How old are men who tend to do this?

In countries like India, Egypt, Italy etc sexual harassment tends to be by bored, unemployed, misogynistic young men. But a lot of the harassers here seem to be older men.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 11/02/2026 20:40

YellowTexasRose · 11/02/2026 17:30

I don’t think it’s anywhere as bad as what it used to be because of camera phones , doorbell / street cameras plus if reported it’s taken more seriously by police / employers .

True....otoh there does still seem to be a lot if it around judging by this thread alone.

CCTV etc should help but otoh a random man can hardly be arrested etc from CCTV footage.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 11/02/2026 20:37

I think if someone's being grabbed etc people HAVE to intervene if they see. I get concern about being attacked (which I'd have myself), but it depends on context. A man going to work etc wouldn't normally want to get caught up in an altercation, so if others challenge it should deescalate.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 11/02/2026 19:37

LilacOpal · 11/02/2026 17:40

I was a teen in the early '00s. I was harassed pretty infrequently, though some of the experiences were quite scary. One guy tried following me home from my part-time job, another started masturbating while sitting across from me on the bus. Revolting. Interestingly, I never remember having problems with builders.

I do remember the random sexual comments being worse when I was with my twin sister. So many men fetishise twin girls.

Edited

That's really awful re twins. I have a lesbian friend who said to me angrily once that 'men are obsessed with violating boundaries' (this was re Reddit subs for lesbians being taken over by TIMs). I thought at the time that was a small minority but it seems to me increasingly that a lot more men are perverts in one way or another than one wants to think...☹️

OP posts:
Somethingsnapped · 11/02/2026 17:57

It started for me at about 12, like many other pp. I remember being out with a friend, on an escalator in a shopping centre. A grown man stood a few steps up, staring at us. When I glanced at him, he said something pretty aggressively. It was very intimidating. From then, sexually assaulted twice by boys in my own year at secondary school, and all the rest of it, calls, comments, etc when out and about, that others have described. As I got older, i couldn't leave the house without some sort of unwanted attention. Grabbed in the street in my twenties, flashed at from a man parked on the street, old man masturbating on a train in front of me and a friend. Relentless really. It died down mostly in my late thirties and early forties, when I became a bit fat, and always out with my children. Now they're at school, and I've lost weight, I can sense the change again. Nothing inappropriate said so far, but lots of looks, including cars slowing down to look etc. Men blatantly looking me up and down. I'm nearly 50.

Recebtly, I've seen men staring at my daughter, aged 12. This started when she was 11. She notices it too.

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 11/02/2026 17:45

I was harassed from the age of 9 onwards. Only stopped when I reached 40. My youngest dd has been harassed a few times on the street (she's 19) and my eldest has been harassed online.

LilacOpal · 11/02/2026 17:40

I was a teen in the early '00s. I was harassed pretty infrequently, though some of the experiences were quite scary. One guy tried following me home from my part-time job, another started masturbating while sitting across from me on the bus. Revolting. Interestingly, I never remember having problems with builders.

I do remember the random sexual comments being worse when I was with my twin sister. So many men fetishise twin girls.

TheIceBear · 11/02/2026 17:36

I used to work in a shop as a teenager and some of the stuff that grown men said to me was absolutely disgusting. A lot of them were builders come to think of it. When I look back on it now I just think how dare they speak to me like that, I didn’t know what to think at the time . I also hated walking past groups of teenage boys because they would almost always make some comment. And I stopped cycling for a while because men would shout things out car windows at me. I think most young women experienced similar at the time. I hope things have improved . That was 20 years ago

tuvamoodyson · 11/02/2026 17:33

Lots of wolf whistles from builders in the 70’s/80’s…otherwise, no.

Forty85 · 11/02/2026 17:33

All thee of us have, more than once.

YellowTexasRose · 11/02/2026 17:30

I don’t think it’s anywhere as bad as what it used to be because of camera phones , doorbell / street cameras plus if reported it’s taken more seriously by police / employers .

PinkArt · 11/02/2026 17:24

QuietPiggy · 11/02/2026 13:58

This sort of behaviour is, unfortunately, so common that frankly, I'd be surprised if any woman hadn't been subjected to it. If a woman said she hadn't experienced it I would think 'well, maybe she's been lucky, but she's probably just not very observant'.

Or was someone who 'took it as a compliment' 🙄

VikingLady · 11/02/2026 17:24

Yup, frequently. Even now in my late 40s, heavily overweight with grey hair, I still get yobs in vans shouting stuff. And the odd gang of teenage boys in town, all egged on by each other.

What I look like appears to be irrelevant. It’s purely harassment, intended to intimidate you.

DD is barely into her teens and fortunately utterly oblivious to the couple of comments I’ve heard about her already.

SooooAIBU · 11/02/2026 17:07

Constantly harassed as a teen (currently early fifties) Sexually assaulted in the street three times. My daughter has also been harassed numerous times and has been flashed at.

LeftieRightsHoarder · 11/02/2026 16:53

I was sexually assaulted by strange men three times before I reached my teens. After that, I can't start to count the number of unwelcome comments I received in my teens to 30s, like most young women. They didn't bother me much unless very aggressive and right in my face. What I hated was being grabbed or touched, or having men surrounding me or blocking my path -- this may have been exacerbated by memories of my childhood experiences too. I was sooo glad when this all died away in my 40s.

Cel77 · 11/02/2026 16:04

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 11:59

For context I'm Gen Z. I live in a very quiet neighbourhood & through my teens was never harassed. There's lots of building works in my area often but builders have always been fine & so has everyone else. I've never witnessed anyone else my age being harassed either (nor adult women). Some of my friends are the same, some unfortunately not (most don't live in my area)

However, I know this is not typical. I've read so much on here about people being harassed in school uniform, having daughters harassed etc. How common is this? Surveys show pretty high results too...

Was it always like this? Has it got worse or better? I've read some arguments it was worse in 70s-80s, others that online misogyny & porn has made harassment of teens worse.

As a teenager in the 90s and a young woman in the 00s, many, many times. Men masturbating on public transport, harassing me in the streets, following me home, undoing my bra on the dancefloor, calling me names if I didn't respond , slapping me if I refused a kiss etc...

It sounds absolutely horrible when I write it, because it was.

To the point I'm not confident at all around men and much prefer women's company.

I have a daughter who is only 6. I hope things have changed but it doesn't seem to be the case.

Itiswhysofew · 11/02/2026 15:59

A lot when I was a teenager in the 1980s. Shouted at from cars, building sites, men & lads in the street. It was so tiresome and made me very cautious when out & about, dreading what I might encounter next.

And that was just outside.

Gilead · 11/02/2026 15:53

I was a teen in the seventies, you couldn’t walk from home to school without being harassed, men shouting from vans, the bus stops, building sites. Groups of lads on the tube. Groping on the tube. I’m grateful that I have become invisible. My daughters both growl at chaps who try it, apparently it really works.

HRTQueen · 11/02/2026 15:47

I was born early 70's

developed at 14 I looked about 12 and form then it was constant for a few years (me wearing my school uniform, showing i was still a child did not stop the harassment form men) also from boys of a similar age.

it became less intimidating as I got older. I have been sexually assaulted a number of times in public, would never has reported it as it was just men with wondering hands 😡

We do not want to address that many many men are sexually attracted to and feel it is their right to harass children and very young woman. We want to pretend its only awful men that are in the news and we need to address this

Talking to my ds's girlfriends things haven't changed and they are also having to deal with stepped up male aggression too it really saddens me, less acceptable in some ways (work etc) and the aggression increases

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 11/02/2026 15:42

I'm 65 and probably had 'ND' tattooed across my head, because as a (really quite alarmingly young) teenager I got remarks made. I was (and am) plain as the proverbial pikestaff, so I think it was men (and sometimes young boys) seeing a woman who didn't quite fit in and would therefore potentially be glad of any male attention.

It didn't work because what I mostly was, was terrified.

Queenoftartts · 11/02/2026 15:39

I did from when I was 12. The first time I was on holiday at Butlins in Ayr Scotland. I was in the baths these 2 lads looked about a year or 2 older a bit overweight. They asked me to give them a BJ and grabbing my bum saying oh she’s gorgeous. This was the early 90’s when it wasn’t taken as seriously.

I just ignored them I had been sexually abused when I was younger so it was nothing to me compared to that. I was in a public place so felt safe. I saw them the next day in the park I was playing on a swing and had my glasses on. I’m guessing they thought I was older than I was. But they never spoke to me and I left the park when I saw them.

A few years later when I was in secondary school our school was having a lot of building and painting work done. Some of the builders used to perve over some of us wolf whistling etc. In my school wearing shorts skirts wasn’t a thing thank goodness. Most of us wore our skirts knee or calf length and we wore chino shirts same as the lads. Those stiff collar ones were awful.

Also groped in nightclubs before I had dc. I guess after years of sleep deprivation with 2 neuro diverse dc I am less attractive to those looking for a leg over on a night out and I don’t miss it.

Topseyt123 · 11/02/2026 15:39

Yes, as a teenager and then a twenty something harassment and catcalling were a regular thing. That was back in the late seventies and early eighties. I'm 59 now and it hasn't happened for a good while, but I guess I am older than the demographic that these scumbags are generally aiming at.

All three of my daughters have had the same thing too.

It's a disgrace. Total objectification of women and very intimidating.

JuliettaCaeser · 11/02/2026 15:32

I actually like being 50 for the lack of attention. Sadly it’s now all on my 17 year old dd 🙄. She was verbally sexually harassed on the bus aged 15 whilst wearing a manky school tracksuit so hardly a femme fatale.

Another woman twenty something stepped in and the driver threw him off the bus. Think it’s fortunate hand guns are banned here or I might actually shoot some of these men.

ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 15:29

Too many times to count. Can't remember them all although I do remember the particularly threatening and vulgar ones and the ones in which they actually laid hands on me. I'm not even pretty and never have been.

Serpentstooth · 11/02/2026 15:27

90 percent. Guarantee it