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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many women have either been sexually harassed in the street in the teenager or have a daughter who has?

238 replies

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 11:59

For context I'm Gen Z. I live in a very quiet neighbourhood & through my teens was never harassed. There's lots of building works in my area often but builders have always been fine & so has everyone else. I've never witnessed anyone else my age being harassed either (nor adult women). Some of my friends are the same, some unfortunately not (most don't live in my area)

However, I know this is not typical. I've read so much on here about people being harassed in school uniform, having daughters harassed etc. How common is this? Surveys show pretty high results too...

Was it always like this? Has it got worse or better? I've read some arguments it was worse in 70s-80s, others that online misogyny & porn has made harassment of teens worse.

OP posts:
Carla786 · 12/02/2026 14:45

Isthismykarma · 12/02/2026 04:42

I’m 28 and would get wolf whistled and cat called between the ages of 13-18. When I started clubbing aged 16-20 was fairly common to get your arse grabbed etc. I remember there being a campaign against groping at indie gigs.
It did stop in my 20s so I often wondered whether a) western sexuality is more deep rooted in paedophilia than we care to admit, b) I got fat and ugly or c) attitudes towards women are changing for the better. I think it’s a mix of all three.

Re the paedophilia, despite what some people always bring up on these threads, it's never been standard for much older men to be married off to 13-14 yos.
I asked ChatGPT (I know...but if you ask for sources- and check they are real- it can be quite helpful). It argued that most of the time men who catcall really young girls are doing it more as a power play/dominance thing than from attraction. I've seen this elsewhere too.

How do they not see how creepy it is? Imagine if a gay man was caught catcalling 13yo boys & he defended himself by saying it was about power not attraction!That rightly wouldn't be accepted- but if directed at girls apparently to a worrying minority of men it's fine.

OP posts:
OpheliaHamlet · 12/02/2026 11:54

Yes, lots. I was a teen in late 90s-early 00s.
The first time I was made aware of it, where it was aggressive, and I know 100% it was directed at me (I was the only person at the rural bus stop) was when I was 11, and waiting for the school bus to secondary.
There was an army training area nearby, so there were regularly trucks and cars going by with young men in them. I can only assume they egged each other on, as there was no mistaking me for being any older(I had only just turned 11!).
At the time, I remember not minding it, because in my mind, they were ‘men’, so I felt kinda mature. Now of course, I’m bloody shocked at how wrong and inappropriate it was!
Also, compared to what was happening at school at the time - where the sexual harassment had progressed to physical by male classmates(skirts being lifted up, arse grabbed, etc), so the wolf whistles and lewd suggestions seemed mild to me!
Ending on a positive note, I changed to a much nicer school after a few months, so there was no more of that harassment for a long time after that😄

WaryCrow · 12/02/2026 09:14

First sexually harassed at the age of 8 or so, bEcoming more regular from age 10 and regular from 13. This was me in the 80s. As far as I know it’s only happened to my 15 yr old dd a couple of times, but quite frankly we’ve given her a better upbringing so she doesn’t feel the need to run out of the house quite as often. I don’t doubt it would be more common if she was out more.

PurpleThistle7 · 12/02/2026 08:36

I grew up in NY and it was nonstop from when I was about 13. I remember getting followed home from work a few times, getting grabbed in a club, having to have security help me leave a bar safely... all sorts from annoying to actually frightening and some things I'd rather not talk about.

i have a 13 year old daughter now who is very young for her age but I've seen men looking at her (gross gross gross). She's had some comments from older boys at school too (a little bit less gross maybe as at least they're age appropriate? And some of them were pretty harmless - just a compliment and asking her out. She couldn't be less interested though!). She started self defense classes last week as I want her to at least have a chance of defending herself if she ends up in some of the situations I did at her age.

I have a son as well and I'm hoping that I teach him better than this. It's horrible that women still expect this nonsense in 2026.

TheIceBear · 12/02/2026 08:36

Isthismykarma · 12/02/2026 04:42

I’m 28 and would get wolf whistled and cat called between the ages of 13-18. When I started clubbing aged 16-20 was fairly common to get your arse grabbed etc. I remember there being a campaign against groping at indie gigs.
It did stop in my 20s so I often wondered whether a) western sexuality is more deep rooted in paedophilia than we care to admit, b) I got fat and ugly or c) attitudes towards women are changing for the better. I think it’s a mix of all three.

I think there is an element of getting away with it as well because men clearly do find women in their 20s highly attractive. The horrible cretins know that younger and more vulnerable women are less likely to call them out or take any action against them.

sashh · 12/02/2026 08:11

BeatrizBoniface · 11/02/2026 12:18

My experience in the 70s and 80s meant that walking past building sites was like walking the gauntlet. When there was a renovation near where I lived, I used to have to take the long route round to the station and back. It was awful.
Even very casually, in the street, it was always "give us a smile sweetheart" or "cheer up darling, it might never happen!".

You have just reminded me of something Ben Elton. He said he was talking to a friend about walking past a pub in the evening and people (men) being outside with their drinks and wondering, "Are they going to say something? Are they going to have a go at me? Is one going to get physical?"

His friend said, "So a bit like being a woman then?"

This would have been late 1980s.

Isthismykarma · 12/02/2026 04:42

I’m 28 and would get wolf whistled and cat called between the ages of 13-18. When I started clubbing aged 16-20 was fairly common to get your arse grabbed etc. I remember there being a campaign against groping at indie gigs.
It did stop in my 20s so I often wondered whether a) western sexuality is more deep rooted in paedophilia than we care to admit, b) I got fat and ugly or c) attitudes towards women are changing for the better. I think it’s a mix of all three.

CommonYew · 12/02/2026 02:21

As a teen or maybe 20 year old, had my bum grabbed in broad daylight more than once by men I didn't know.

DrunkenKoala · 12/02/2026 00:22

I was a teen through the first half of the 90s and remember men in vans shouting stuff and also my friend and I being flashed at as we left our local railway station. In my late teen to mid 20s I remember getting groped and grabbed in nightclubs. Each time I was groped/grabbed the perpetrators would stand there laughing. I don't remember getting harassed much after that but I do remember being touched in the street in broad daylight one day. Two men walking towards me taking up a lot of the pavement, as I walked past them I felt a hand run down the side of my body. When I looked at him he just carried on walking as though it hadn’t happened.

Last summer my daughter (then 10) had a car stop on the other side of the road and a bloke who looked like he was in his 30s just ogling her. She’ d walked on ahead of me and was waiting at the corner of the road when this car stopped on the opposite side. I shouted something to my daughter as I got closer but was watching him, he then looked at me and drove off I found it really unsettling. Luckily she had her back to him and didn’t see him.

Carla786 · 12/02/2026 00:17

Honestly this amount of stories confirms my wish that pepper spray were legal to carry.

Otoh spraying could escalate the situation (plus could backfire on you or innocent people nearby) but otoh if there were at least the threat of something direct & immediate for creepy men, it would surely put them off.

OP posts:
EsmeSusanOgg · 11/02/2026 23:01

Most days between ages of 12 and 19. 1990s and early 2000s.

BruFord · 11/02/2026 22:47

@TheHardySeal Yes, I think that many teenagers/young women were very naive back then, I certainly was.

TheHardySeal · 11/02/2026 22:32

Between the 1970s & early 2000s I’ve had 5 significant incidences from 5 different men, 2 of which shocked me, 3 of which were very frightening and of 2 of those I feared for my life. I was pretty, naive & vulnerable when young, and unfortunate when older. All of these came from unwanted sexual attention. Now I’m old enough to be relatively unnoticed and I’m glad.

TheIceBear · 11/02/2026 21:47

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 20:55

That's awful. Did the shop owner not want to help? I get if you didn't want to ask, there seems to have been a lot of tolerance for it among workplaces often...and maybe still is.
Shop/builder incidents could at least have been wiped out decades ago if businesses had enforced boundaries.

Edited

Nope . The shop owner wasn’t there most of the time but one time she witnessed something particularly horrible being said to me and ignored it. Actually one time a customer asked the shop manager for my number and she gave it to him. He rang me that night and told me things he would like to do to me on the phone. I hung up and he kept phoning and phoning. I ignored it but if it was nowadays I’d be going to the police and reporting it as sexual harassment. I didn’t really have a clue back then.

Funnywonder · 11/02/2026 21:42

I had it all the time as a teenager and beyond. This was in the eighties. I was groped, leered at, whistled at, ‘complimented’ and insulted if I wasn’t grateful for said ‘compliments’. A man I worked with shouted across the office ‘Oh, ne pas toucher’ (he was NOT French btw😆) at a male colleague as he went to hand over a couple of files to me. The clear implication being that I didn’t like being touched, even though the poor guy had no intention of touching me in any way. Shouty bloke was deliberately trying to humiliate me because I always expressed my disdain when he casually slid his arm around my waist or shoulder and moved away. He had a daughter around my age FFS. I worked in a department predominantly made up of men. Most of them were fine, but a significant minority were awful. A lot of men openly exhibited sexist behaviour back then. Because they could. Bastards.

Keepingthepeace9 · 11/02/2026 21:22

TheGrimSmile · 11/02/2026 12:34

I used to all the time, daily, when I was younger. Not any more, for which I am very grateful. The upside of middle-age is becoming invisible to men.

I've heard people say you become invisible when you reach your 50s & 60s. All that happens is to some men often far younger you suddenly become a milf or a gilf. Some women thrive on it but I'd say the majority of women want to look their best without being objectified.

Gahr · 11/02/2026 21:13

I have had the odd comment for sure, the odd wolf whistle from when I was about fifteen on. I didn't grow curves until mid teens. I'm not super curvy even now, and sometimes I wonder if that's why I haven't been bothered all that much by men. Certainly the experience some women have had of almost constant groping has never been mine, I'm thankful to say. Oh, and I'm an elder millennial, 42 years old.

northernballer · 11/02/2026 21:09

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 20:52

If it were just van men & builders etc you could argue it's just men from professions with a macho culture that encourages sexism. But sadly it's far more widespread than that, as this thread shows...

Honestly there have been so many times men have behaved inappropriately, I would imagine they would pass it off as banter or declare that men can't even talk to women anymore. It happened to me in a meeting at work about three years ago when I was junior to the two other men there who were bothe c-suite level, one of them called the other out on it so there is some hope but honestly a lot of men are gross, it's always a way of exerting their power and reminding women of their place.

onpills4godsake · 11/02/2026 21:07

I literally read the title and thought- who hasn’t?
Literally get beeped at / comments if I ever wear a skirt - it’s depressing

Moonlightfrog · 11/02/2026 21:05

Born in the 80’s so I was a teen in the 90’s. Harassed many times. Grabbed in nightclubs, shouted at from cars and touched at work (I was a waitress in a posh hotel when I was 16).

babyproblems · 11/02/2026 20:58

I think literally every woman.
I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been subject to this sort of behavior

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 20:55

TheIceBear · 11/02/2026 17:36

I used to work in a shop as a teenager and some of the stuff that grown men said to me was absolutely disgusting. A lot of them were builders come to think of it. When I look back on it now I just think how dare they speak to me like that, I didn’t know what to think at the time . I also hated walking past groups of teenage boys because they would almost always make some comment. And I stopped cycling for a while because men would shout things out car windows at me. I think most young women experienced similar at the time. I hope things have improved . That was 20 years ago

That's awful. Did the shop owner not want to help? I get if you didn't want to ask, there seems to have been a lot of tolerance for it among workplaces often...and maybe still is.
Shop/builder incidents could at least have been wiped out decades ago if businesses had enforced boundaries.

OP posts:
boobot1 · 11/02/2026 20:55

Well pretty much everyday from about 12 to 35. Still happens sometimes but is much less socially acceptable now. When I was young it was very common.

Carla786 · 11/02/2026 20:52

northernballer · 11/02/2026 20:49

Someone in a van beeped me and asked me to show him my tits when I was out running earlier this week. I'm 48. Nothing has changed.

If it were just van men & builders etc you could argue it's just men from professions with a macho culture that encourages sexism. But sadly it's far more widespread than that, as this thread shows...

OP posts:
northernballer · 11/02/2026 20:49

Someone in a van beeped me and asked me to show him my tits when I was out running earlier this week. I'm 48. Nothing has changed.