Will dr’s give me DD medical records

But be honest, you would worry about why she had gone to the doctors without mentioning it to you wouldn't you, its only natural and I think this is partly what Caddycat is talking about, above and beyond this Mum wanting to read her diary and ring the GP which in my opinion is a big mistake but I totally get the desire to do so.

We would all like to think our kids would come to us and if they don't, its only natural to wonder the nature of the issue they felt they couldn't discuss with me. Everything would go through my mind, pregnancy, contraception, mental health! I can remember being that age and I got on really well with my mum but some things were just too awkward or embarrassing to discuss with her and I had to be in a particular mind set to be able to do it. If she had been pressurising me to tell her, I would have just clammed up.

I don't agree with the route that the OP is going down but I can totally empathise with her overpowering concern.

There's a vast difference between going on with your life as if nothing happened and reading someone else's diary and trying to gain access to their medical records

I would hope that for the majority of teenage girls that their mum saying "You don't have to be embarrassed about anything, I love you and I'm here to support you. I want to help you. I'm not going to be angry about anything you tell me" etc would be enough to get a conversation going

Perhaps the OP didn't do that

Be grateful she has reached out to the GP whatever it is for. At 15, I still had proxy access to my daughters NHS app so could have seen from that, but since 16 she has had access herself and I would just have respected her privacy.

Very very tempted to read her diary but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

No way you know you must not do this. Total breach of trust. Why not speak with her?

You sound suffocating

There's a difference between guidance and interference. At 15, she should have had enough guidance to enable her to make some of her own decisions. She's entitled to some privacy and, if she's been given the right guidance so far, will know when to ask her mother for help or advice.

At 15 she is competent so no, they will not give them to you without her consent. She has a right to privacy and honestly, I can see why she won't tell you.

Sadly I think the Drs will not enter into conversation. I personally think that for a child of under 15 the parents should be involved and I believe the same for schools etc. The parent (unless there is a safeguarding concern) is responsible for the child, the child lives with them and they care for them.

Respect her privacy you nasty control freak. She clearly doesn't want you to know so back off. You don't own her and she'll end up hating you.

Is she Gillick competence .

AI Overview

Children aged 16 or 17 are presumed competent to consent to, or withhold, medical information and treatment, acting as adults regarding confidentiality
. Children under 16 may also hold this capacity if deemed "Gillick competent," meaning they have sufficient understanding and intelligence to fully grasp the information, risks, and consequences of the proposed medical intervention.

You can’t get them …..that’s the answer to your question

I work in a gp surgery and you have access to their records up to the age of 13 after that your Dd would need to fill out a consent form for you to access her records but she can limit the access that you get
We also check with the patient that they have given consent ( just incase the patients signature has been forged )

Or it might be 12 and over

No you can't. You need the child's consent once they're over 12 and why are you invading her privacy anyway?

What the fuck is wrong with you OP?

Would you rather she got the professional support that she needs or went without because she was scared you were trying to get ahold of her records?

Work on the relationship with your dd to slowly rebuild the trust that has been lost somewhere along the line or you risk breaking it forever.

My relationship with my mum was damaged permanently by her snooping and forcing herself into my business when I wasn't ready to tell her when I was a teen. It meant I couldn't go to her when I really did need her. Don't do the same to your dd.

I’m glad you’re not my mother and I can see why she won’t confide in you. Minor or not, she’s gone to see a GP on her own, so kudos to her for that. But that’s where the rest of the information lies is none of your business and stays with the GP and her. If you were present at the appointment, different story.

As she is over 11 you would need her to consent to you seeing her records, unless there is another reason she lacks capacity.

I don’t think op is unreasonable. I have dc almost 18 and 20 and both tell me if they want the doctor and even still I might go with them. I take my DM to the doctor as well. I would want to know so that I could provide help.

I also think that people may be a little naive as to what help busy NHS GPs can give in a few mins. I’d definitely want to supplement that with my own help (and chat gpt’s as well)

I wasn't victim blaming, I was suggesting this is all made up, by a troll.

Yes, she's entitled to (if she exists), but if you had a mother like this, you wouldn't, would you? My dm didn't know I HAD a diary (still doesn't).

If you're at this point, there's obviously already some serious issues in your relationship that she doesn't trust you to either keep a secret, or not react badly if it's something like an STD or a pregnancy (or even if she was just getting birth control). If you want her to tell you she needs to be able to trust you and trust that she can be honest with you without you judging her or thinking less of her, or giving her a lecture. You won't gain that trust by reading her diary or trying to get her medical records. You'll just damage it further. Tell her you love her, and you want to be there for her, and you'll be ready to chat when she is. And if she does, don't lecture her, or judge her.

You can't, no.

Why don’t you ask her? Have a conversation

The surgery have a duty of confidentiality and they will not just allow you access to her medical notes- unless in situations where there is safeguarding/further concerns

Can't say I'm surprised that the OP has not returned....

If by "virtuous" you mean that if this happened to me I wouldn't
-sit my daughter down and try to find out why she went to the doctor
-think about reading her diary Or
-try to get hold of her private medical records,

then, yes, I guess I am "virtuous". What I would do is to say to her (in a similar vein to many other posters) that I hope she is ok and that I'm here to listen if she wants to share anything with me.