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Is DH being inconsiderate about Valentine’s Day?

227 replies

naturesbuds · 11/02/2026 08:34

I’m feeling a bit thrown today and would love some perspective.
My husband of 17 years asked me this morning, “Have you got anything planned for Valentine’s Day? My sister is inviting us for dinner.”
Now… a few things about this:
His sister is single.
It is Valentine’s Day. Even though we both agree it can feel commercialised, it’s still a day we usually spend together in some way.
Saturdays are normally a family day anyway — we take our son to archery and I was thinking we could make a nice family day of it afterwards.
So I guess what’s bothering me is how casually he asked. It felt like he didn’t stop to consider the day or how it might come across. I’m not expecting roses and candlelight every year, but it would have been nice if he’d thought before saying, “My sister is asking what we’re doing Saturday.”
It just felt a bit inconsiderate and… I don’t know… almost nonchalant about a day we’d normally spend together.
Is it right to feel a bit hurt? Or am I reading too much into this?
Would you say anything to him or just let it go?

OP posts:
WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 11/02/2026 08:37

I understand feeling hurt if Valentine's is something you do together normally. to be honest we don't bother with valentine's i might get a card chocs and flowers but we have never 'done anything' but then that's us and in your situation it wouldn't bother me at all but if you are used to spending it just the 2 of you I would be a bit put out yes.

Tel12 · 11/02/2026 08:36

I'd just be pleased someone else was cooking.

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