Have a 16 month old. He’s always been a poor sleeper - when NCT friends were progressing to sleeping through the night I was still up breastfeeding 2-3 times a night and multiple other wakes too. We’ve had a handful of nights where he’s slept through all more recently and DH and I both just chronically tired albeit it’s me who does 90% of the night wake, previously through feeding and now because if DH goes in I can often hear it escalating to even worse screaming/crying. Occasionally it’s ok but mostly I end up having to go in and calm an even worse situation.
Since moving to one nap it’s improved a lot and now a couple of night wakes and he can often settle himself - I can tell quite quickly if it’s one of those and don’t need to go in. Tonight it quickly turned to crying, can see on monitor he was stood up in crib and escalating so I go in (even though I’m up at 5 for office) and end up in huge argument because DH adamant I’ve made it worse by going in and should have just left him to cry.
I don’t agree with cry it out and I’ve not managed the past 16 months to just swap to that now. I gave in to DH saying let’s try it and and baby was crying to the point he was sick before I went in and then spent an hour calming him back down. It was just awful but DH just isn’t affected by seeing him so distressed like I suppose I am.
where do we go from here? I’m sick of arguing about it, wish we could split the load and wish we all just got more sleep.
never coslept and not an option - I would have particularly on bad nights but DH very anxious and adamant it was always too dangerous.