is 11 too young for a going into town alone?

I let my daughters walk into town at this age, but we are also in a small town.

I’m not sure I’d have wanted them
to be out for four hours though. That’s a lot of time to be hanging about.

OP I think this is a very safe way for your daughter to start having some independence. It's a 10-min walk and she is with a group of friends. As a parent you will always worry but it's important not to project your anxiety onto your daughter so she can learn to navigate her expanding world with confidence. If you take sensible precautions, and barring any additional needs that may be impacting her, there will be no need to stop her from doing what is quite normal things at this stage in her life.

You got to let them start getting some freedom at some point. I think 11/12 is the age to start that.

You walk your Year 7 child to school? So unusual where we live.

11 is exactly when my DD started doing this. Small town, one main Street, very familiar with it. I do have a tracker on her phone but now she’s 12 and used to going into town as well as walking to school I don’t look at it much. Sometimes we go further afield - she’s not done a bus or train ride with friends yet but I’ll take them somewhere and then go for a coffee or look in different shops while she goes round with a friend.

It's fine. At 9 I first came home from a friend's by bus alone because my mum was working and my dad was away. This gave me a taste for public transport: I wanted to explore. I confess I began doing this off my own bat: saying I was just going to the shops then catching a bus or train... But eventually I sought and got my parents sanction for these trips (though I never told them I'd already started them). At 12 I went from London to the seaside by myself. I never came to any harm on any of these journeys.

My DD did this with some of her friends when she was around 11 just before she moved up to secondary school. I knew the friends (and their parents) already which helped and they were all good kids.

We lived on the outskirts of a home counties market town that we visited regularly so she knew her way around and I'd already been giving her more freedom and responsibility bit-by-bit as part of the prep for secondary school. I made sure she knew that if she got separated from her friends and/or it was all going wrong, to call me and I'd come and pick her up no questions asked. They had a blast!

She'll be fine, especially if she stays with her friends and has her phone.

I was 11 when I did the unthinkable, lied to my mother and got on the bus (direct route) with a friend to go into a town with a very dubious reputation. To this day, she doesn't know, as far as I'm aware. My family were far too overprotective of me because I was a girl, and it drove me mad, especially in comparison to how my brother was raised. At 18, I moved to a university over a hundred miles away from home to get a taste of privacy and independence!

Girls need to know how to be independent, just as much as boys. This will be a good introduction to being out in the world without an adult... and by and large, the news only ever really shows the negative side of the world. It's not often that you see lots of positive stories.

It depends entirely on the child.

I had been taking buses to school from I was 9 years old and going into town for trips with friends from 11 when I started high school.

I was quote sensible and a mature head on my shoulders.

I have a 9 year old at the moment, and he is definitely not ready to take the bus to school on his own. And I highly doubt he will be ready for town outings with friends etc in a couple of years as he's extremely influential and has no street sense (he has ASD and ADHD and struggles even now with crossing roads etc)

Only you will know, as their parent, if they are ready or not.

I didn't do any of that with either of my dds before they went off on their own. If they can't find something they can use Google Maps on their phone!

I think this is something that has really changed over time. When I was young, everyone I knew travelled all over our big city when they started secondary school. Whilst I do understand parents’ fears, I think it is also important to empower children to be independent. I was surprised to see a lot of young people who went to university with my DC who had very little experience of being out on their own, which then made the transition way bigger.
As previous posters have said, talk to her about staying with her friends and keeping her phone tucked away etc. It’s so hard letting them go, but also an essential part of growing up.

Depends on the town and the 11 year old!

Some people are just naturally less observant than others so need to be encouraged to take note. BTW they were all encouraged to look for possible hazards when they were passengers in my car also. Cars pulling over suddley, people looking as though they might step out etc.t

Yes, in hindsight I should have done that more of that with her. I think because my DS was so good at knowing his way around and being independent, I made an assumption that DD would be fine too. It came as quite a surprise when we realised she hadn’t really absorbed any of it! I have a younger DD who is 7 so I will get the practice in a bit earlier with her!!

Ah see if let mine practice going places in the town and coming back to me BEFORE they wanted to go alone. So id be in a cafe with DS and 10 year old DD would go and waste her time looking at crap in Primark or Claire's accessories and come back to me.

And even before that I got them to navigate me to places. Started that preschool age, DS was very good at going through Stansted airport and telling me where to go next by age 6.

Mine both started going into town with friends the summer between Y6 and Y7, one of them was only just 11 at that point. I drop them off/pick up, the first time they went in, I did something else in town so I was nearby if needed.
we live in a mid size town (around 120,000) with crap public transport.

It depends on the child and also the town. My DS was very sensible and street wise at that age and was fine going into town with his mates on his own. But my DD was completely clueless!

When she started wanting to go into town with friends (in year 7 I guess so she would have been 11) we had to build up to it. This was a town centre she’d been to countless times before with us, but when it came to navigating herself she realised she didn’t know how to get from the train station to the shops, or where certain shops were as she had never paid attention when with us! Many of her friends were the same and actually asked for a parent to be around in town in case they needed us.

At first we said she had to stay within the shopping centre (I was also in the shopping centre in a cafe so close by). Then once she was confident of knowing the way to get from the shopping centre to say Primark, she was allowed to do that too…again, with me or another parent around town too. I reckon we had to do this about 5 or 6 times before we and they were confident they could go by themselves!

There are some small home counties towns where I would hesitate to say an 11yo would necessarily be safe. But most towns will be fine.

I live in a city and my daughter could meet a friend in town on the bus from 12 so walking into a town with friends for a couple hours seems totally to me. Just make sure she knows she can ask to get picked up at any time, no judgement and make sure she has her card topped up so she can get a drink or earrings or whatever you think is reasonable for a budget.

I disagree but that’s my opinion. Maybe when he’s a bit older but absolutely not at 11 does a child need to encounter nutters on their own to learn to be streetwise

Generally I think 11 is fine for this. But it does depend on the town. Our local smallish town I would be absolutely ok with. Our nearest big town is Croydon and I wouldn’t be comfortable letting a group of 11 year old girls wander around there on their own.

If you live in a rough area then it's even more essential for your kids to get a bit streetwise

How will they cope at 15 if all the other kids have developed 5 years old streetsmarts and they are still green ?

At the age of 12 I was moved from a riverside village to east London. I had to become street savvy pretty quickly I tell you.

Depends where you live I think, I live in a rough area there is no way my son is going on the bus alone. Too many nutters.

And what if you live in a town like mine where it's basically one high street and not know for " dodgy" types hanging around during the day?

With friends I think it’s ok.

my ds1 is 12 and I’d be ok with this. In fact I would encourage.