is 11 too young for a going into town alone?

Good news, thanks OP.

Best hope they don't get separated from friends then or stomp off ( looking at you DD1)

OP has already said that her dd will have her phone. If she loses her phone or runs out of battery, surely another friend will have one she can use

I think it's fine, as long as they're sensible kids and your town isn't super sketchy. Presume it will be daylight? Talk through some scenarios with her so she knows what to do.

How does your DD travel to school @PeanutPies?

They'll be absolutely fine. Mine were going into the city centre by that age. The worst that happened was that they lost track of time in a shop on one occasion and were a bit late home.

I did it with friends when I was that age, and that was before the days of mobile phones.

It hugely depends on the actual town you live in. By secondary school a lot of children are having to travel further, including going in and out of town centres and changing buses. At this time of year it’s best if they go in earlier in the day so that they can be back before dark. And make sure she sticks with her friends and calls you if there are any problems.

Town as in Dumfries, Aviemore, Portrush, Oban = definitely.

Town as in Birmingham, Glasgow, Belfast = probably not.

why

They’ll use a friend’s phone

In my area most children have been walking to and from school from year 6, many from year 5.

Sorry you’ve had that experience. I’d do the same thing if I were you.

And if they lose their phone or run out of battery? My eldest was 14 when got phone. Friends similar age

11 sounds fine to me.

We’re in London and all the yr 7 kids get to and from school alone - most of whom are 11 at least to start with.

If these are autumn born yr 6s they’re the same age as the younger yr 7s who are travelling about independently.

Only a few 11 year olds around us have phones yet (a lot more will get them this summer before going up to secondary) - they are allowed to call for neighbours and go to local park/shop, be dropped off at the cinema and collected after the film, but not go into town on the bus yet.

I'd anticipate that starting up once they are all settled with new friends in Year 7 and have phones, so maybe Xmas hols or start of next year once the weather is better.

I wish that was the case around here but unfortunately we live in an undesirable area, one of the reasons I learned to drive was too many unsavoury people on the bus. I got attacked on the bus in the middle of the day.

It’s not unusual for children to walk to school from age 5 where I live and nearly all of them do it by age 7.

I suppose it does depend on the area. Round here they are full of students and people going to work so it's pretty safe.

I never had money for a payphone at my DD age. We were largely left to just get on with it on and trusted. I can say I don't take this approach with my DD, but the steps I take with her now will be to ensure she is safe and feels safe and can make (as far as possible) sensible choices about what she does. But she's still learning and will make mistakes and we can help and guide her through those.

You're quite right. I did some stupid stuff at age 14-17, and I actually think my child is more sensible than me! However horrified I am that my daughter might do some stupid stuff eventually - she kinda needs to in order to learn because that's what we did. At that age she will have a phone and will know that whatever the situation I will always come for her and it won't be a bother - but we aren't talking about that age group ( the OP has a 10/11 yr old) and an appropriate conversation will be had well in advance before that age and the issues that might crop up.

This is not to say that I'm ultra casual and this freedom does not scare the life out of me. It does! I worry about DD and fret when she out of sight as much as the next parent but I try not to show that to her. I encourage her, talk to her and discuss options to help her make decisions for herself.

I think year 7 is the time many kids start to expand their social lives and activities independently. If there are clear parameters, they're sensible (and have sensible friends) and they start small - your daughter's request sounds about right - I think you have to step back and let them get on with it.

But none of that means you're unreasonable to be worried. Parenting is tough. I found this part the hardest - balancing independence and safety is stressful.

There are 0 pay phones around where my child would be - agree it shouldn't be necessary to have a phone, but I was always sent out with a few quarters (I grew up in NY) in case I needed to phone home. I could give my child all the change in the world and they'd never be able to phone me. I also know perfectly well what I was up to at my daughter's age so not sure it was any better really!

(I still remember wandering up the highway in the rain to find a petrol station at 14 when I ended up at a party I definitely shouldn't have been at. My daughter will never know this fear and I'm thankful for it!)

But back to the point - I think it's super important to start practicing this early as others have mentioned. My daughter is autistic so needs extra time anyway, so we usually practice a route before she's happy to go on her own. My son is almost 10 now and far more independent so we are starting to remind him about bus routes and directions and asking him which way he would need to walk to get home when we are out. By the time he's in secondary, he'll be ready to go anywhere he wants.

drive as the buses are risky full of unsavoury characters, lots of parents do

Only you know your child and ultimately have to decide whether you trust her and her choice of friends and her ability to stand up to her friends should she feel uncomfortable.

I have a 10 yr old (yr5). She has been walking to and from school since September. She has walked to the local supermarket to buy bread or milk. She has a Monzo card and I can load with money for her. She has occasionally overspent and had to figure this out.

She has had 30mins in our local small city on a Sunday morning to do Xmas shopping for me and her dad in privacy. With an agreed time and place to meet us.

These small steps help build her confidence and our trust in her. She enjoys each new step of freedom knowing it comes with the privilege being removed should she not adhere to our rules (local community - someone would tell me).

She absolutely does not have a phone or a tracker. There is no need. I don't believe the world is anymore dangerous then when I was her age and starting to do the same things alone or with friends. We've talked a lot about stranger danger, sticking to well lit routes etc.

Why do we worry so much about our children learning independence outside of the home yet allow in some cases completely unlimited access to social media, What's app and games that can do so much more damage? I say this as an email has come in from school saying yr5&6 children are bullying each other on what's app. Children no longer seem to play out, get given chance for independence or learn to take risks because they are somehow safer at home where they can be seen but have untold dangers lurking in their phones, tablets and games.

I would worry less about going into town at 11 and more about having a phone at 11.