Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband always off when I go out with man crazy friend

112 replies

Anouke · 10/02/2026 19:44

So I do have one friend who is absolutely man CRAZY. I mean she is absolutely single bloody minded on a night out. It’s like a dog in heat. She also likes saying outrageous things (often does so in front of my husband). I just tell her to behave tbh.

All she wants to do is flirt and “meet” a guy. I do think it can be a bit much but leave her to it mostly. I just see it as one of her quirks. Do I think it’s uber healthy? No but I’ve shared my thoughts with friend and left it at that. I’m not her mother but obviously try to steer her when I see her making crazy choices. She is a bit of a Samantha (SATC) wannabe but sadly I do think it’s a bit of an act.

Anyway, husband is always a bit off when I say I’m going out with this friend. She’s a lot of fun. I’ll say I’m going with “Liv” and he’ll say something a bit dismissive. And questions why I’m friends with her 😂. He definitely doesn’t like her.

I mean I wouldn’t ever do anything inappropriate but I see nothing wrong in being her wing woman so to speak and chatting to a guy on a night out.

My sister was over the other day and said she doesn’t think Liv is an appropriate friend! And that I should reconsider my friendship as it clearly makes my husband uncomfortable. It just seems mad to me and a very 19th century take.

i asked husband who said he does question why I enjoy spending time with her and when she’s it hunting for men. Such a horrible, judgmental take imo.

Am I the one missing the mark? I don’t think so. We are late 20s. Married for a year. No kids.

OP posts:
Ohcrap082024 · 10/02/2026 20:16

Yep, turn it round. Your DH goes out drinking with his mate who is constantly on the pull. Your DH is his wingman who chats to loads of women in order to help his mate get a shag. His mate then makes inappropriate comments to you.

Are you ok with that? If yes, then crack on. But think very carefully about this.

sploshsplash · 10/02/2026 20:14

havingoneofthosedays · 10/02/2026 20:13

Liv sounds fun! But I don’t clutch my pearls of an evening

she sounds desperate and predatory and if the roles were reversed on this thread people would be going full throttle at the situation

havingoneofthosedays · 10/02/2026 20:13

Liv sounds fun! But I don’t clutch my pearls of an evening

sploshsplash · 10/02/2026 20:12

what outrageous things to openly flirt with your husband does she say? I wouldn’t be surprised by your description of her if she’s testing the waters with your husband by doing this. She sounds desperate

Endofyear · 10/02/2026 20:10

So if your DH had a crazy shagger friend and you knew when he went out with his friend, they'd be drinking and chatting with lots of girls so his friend could try and shag them, you'd be fine with it?

I can see why your DH isn't particularly keen on you going out with her - he knows that you'll be getting chatted up! I also wouldn't fancy tagging along with my single friend if all she was doing was hunting down blokes to get off with! It wouldn't be my idea of a fun night out 🤷‍♀️

Chameleonchange · 10/02/2026 20:10

On plenty of threads I've taken the view when a woman talks about how awful her DP or DH 's friends are then I would assume her DP or DH is the same. Birds of a feather and all that implies
So honestly I can sympathise with your DH.

I'm struggling to see why you even want to go out with this woman unless you actually enjoy being part of her man hunt. And again I sympathise with with your DH because he must really wonder the same.

forcedtonamechange · 10/02/2026 20:09

If I were her, id tone it down in front of my friends husband tbh - can’t fault her lifestyle at all but its a bit much for someone married, unfortunately

StrawberryJamAndRaspberryPie · 10/02/2026 20:09

I mean, how fun can it be watching her go after men while you’re lumped in to talk to their mate etc? I find it incredibly boring when a night out goes from being fun to everyone else trying to find/ get off with a bloke.

He’s not judging her for being man crazy he’s judging you for finding it fun to help her chase men and entertain them.

SunMoonandChocolate · 10/02/2026 20:07

If she's always on the hunt for a man, and makes inappropriate comments to your DH, I'm not surprised he's unhappy about you going out with her. What do you get up to if she pulls OP?

If the roles were reversed, can you honestly say you'd be happy about your DH going out with a friend who's always on the look out for a woman to hook up with? I wouldn't be.

As a previous poster said, if you want to keep your marriage on an even keel, you need to spend time with her during the day, and forget going for girly nights out, if it's just the two of you.

NotMajorTom · 10/02/2026 20:04

Anouke · 10/02/2026 20:02

Yes it can be tiresome. It’s not like we set out to meet guys. She just is very forward even if we’re just sitting on the tube or waiting in line at a restaurant.

I just tell her to pack it in when I’m really annoyed. And tbf she does.

What about the question regarding how you’d feel if your husband chatted to women so his mate could try and pull?

Anouke · 10/02/2026 20:02

Missj25 · 10/02/2026 19:56

“ I don’t see anything wrong with being her wing woman & chatting to a guy on a night out “
Well you’re married !
How would you feel if this was your husband chatting to a woman on a night out , cause he’s with his always trying to pick women up on a night out friend ?
Well be honest ??
I don’t mean dump her as your friend , but I’d be sticking to lunch dates & days out or whatever with her .
Do you not find it painful being out with her ?, given you’re married & she’s always just trying to score with men .

Yes it can be tiresome. It’s not like we set out to meet guys. She just is very forward even if we’re just sitting on the tube or waiting in line at a restaurant.

I just tell her to pack it in when I’m really annoyed. And tbf she does.

OP posts:
Missj25 · 10/02/2026 19:56

“ I don’t see anything wrong with being her wing woman & chatting to a guy on a night out “
Well you’re married !
How would you feel if this was your husband chatting to a woman on a night out , cause he’s with his always trying to pick women up on a night out friend ?
Well be honest ??
I don’t mean dump her as your friend , but I’d be sticking to lunch dates & days out or whatever with her .
Do you not find it painful being out with her ?, given you’re married & she’s always just trying to score with men .