Dubai single mum

Just to add, my assumption about moving a child cross-border is based on my own very unique circumstances in a different country, and the only country I would move to is the country we are both from so if ex-H kicked up a fuss about that I don't think he would have a leg to stand on. I do think it would be much harder for your DD and, as above, she should consult a lawyer.

Moral judgments about Dubai aside, I think it entirely depends on the custody arrangements and your daughter's circumstances. It sounds like if she has sole custody, he has limited contact, she receives no child support and needs to move to Dubai for work then there may be her ex could do to stop her. However, he can kick up a fuss and it is very complex to move children across borders without parental consent, so she should definitely consult a lawyer.

I can see why your DD might move to Dubai if there are job prospects and if her life would be easier. As a single mum in Singapore my life is MUCH easier. I have my parents for a start (huge bonus which I wouldn't have in the UK) but I also have a live in helper, affordable high quality full-time nursery and its a small place where its easy to connect with my friends and also her dad, who still lives here as well. If I was a single mum in the UK I would drown, no doubt about it. Dubai isn't my cup of tea but as a single mum myself I won't indulge in pearl clutching moral judgments about another woman who is in a similar situation.

The rumours on TikTok were that there are disgusting parties where wealthy misogynists defecate into the mouths of Instagram models as a fetish. Often these women are trafficked sex workers from Eastern European or Uganda etc, or women who thought they were coming for a modelling or other job.

I didn't have the stomach to get through the BBC investigation into trafficking networks but there does seem to be truth to it 🤮

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3ct854r

Women get raped in Dubai, or used as porta potties.

It just tends to be poor housemaids, nannies or trafficked women.

Never forget this.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3ct854r

There HAVE been protests about the genocidal RSF in the Sudan war, who are armed by the UAE. I will link.

Yes, who knows how much sexual assault on poor or vulnerable women is committed behind closed doors? Slaves making buildings just a few years ago, too.

It shows what an immoral, classist, misogynistic & racist place it is though. Many wealthy Arab men commit these crimes on trafficked Eastern European or Ugandan women as they see them as inferior.

Technically an expat is someone who goes to work in a specific country for a period of time with a company, I think. But yes, it has broadened our from that.

In Ben Judah's great book This Is London, he has a moment interviewing a young man who gives a 'translation' of London lingo, including rich immigrant =expat, poor immigrant = immigrant. That is how it often works out!

I guess probably a lot of Emratis don't like the expat/immigrant numbers but they have to put up with it as you get arrested for criticising the government or royal family quite easily.

Yes, I have issues with Dubai but just as the panic making headlines about London being a no go area for white people/law and order collapsing in the UK so the stories about Dubai though often true wouldn't make it massively dangerous to someone like the OPs daughter. There are issues with vulnerable children being groomed into criminal activity in the UK. I care about that because I care about vulnerable children, but it doesn't mean me as a middle aged woman am personally at risk.

However, I would say that it isn't massively safer than the UK when you take those things into account. Not massively less safe but statistics like murder rates/sexual violence are very hard to compare across countries because how the police record things can vary so much. So one country can have a much lower femicide rate but a much higher female suicide or accidental death rate.

Also, because of the way the country works. If you were going to get into any confrontation with a local (traffic accident whatever) the power imbalance would work against you. It's best to be mindful of that but it might never be an issue.

Errr do you live in London? This sounds like one of those fake email forwards warning about strangers hiding razor blades in bags of sweets.

Most people in Dubai would never ever encounter such things. If she's going over to work, not as an Instagram model, her life won't intersect with this at all.

You're a bit of a fantasist aren't you?

It’s not about positive replies you do have to be realistic - she does have consistent fortnightly contact currently. Courts are upholding fathers “rights” like never before - Fathers4Justice haven’t been around for years now so that should tell people something

I know someone who wanted to relocate 100 miles from the East Midlands to London to be closer to family support. The court denied it

Similar circumstances to a friend that did this and it was granted.
However the visits back to uk to see dad had to accompanied travel by mum who would have to fly in and out and the amount of time spent in uk was a lot more weeks. So around 8 weeks spent in the uk per year until child was 15 and could travel alone. The dad refused to ever travel out to the country.

I walk around London with my phone all the time. I don't have a Rolex or any interest in one but I wear some fairly expensive jewellery. I see people walking around with their phones too, living a perfectly normal life in the city. This is really ridiculous scaremongering.

OP look, if my DD and I could not change her surname to mine after 15 years of no contact from her father sitting in a prison abroad without his permission (which I did get eventually) then I’m not sure this is going to work out the way she hopes.

Shockingly selfish.

You say the mother will pay for her DD to travel to and from Dubai to see her dad. Unaccompanied? Or is dad expected to pay to travel and collect and drop off?

This cannot be in the best interests of a child who is in regular contact with her father. It’s very unlikely it will be approved.

Schooling is cheaper in Dubai?

Oh come on. There’s all sorts of crimes in the UK but the vast majority of people are not involved and are safe. The same applies in Dubai. The OP’s daughter and granddaughter are not likely to be trafficked and sexually abused there, neither are they likely to voluntarily go to parties where men get off by shitting on them. It’s just absurd to think this way.

When I was growing up my dad saw me every other weekend too. And my mum did everything.

However I know how much I missed my dad.

And I'm not with my child's dad now. I know it doesn't seem fair that the mum does everything and the dad hardly does anything and gets all the good bits and all the stuff that goes with being separated. I know there's that side. But I know how I felt about my dad growing up and how I missed him. And I know how my daughter misses her dad too. I could never take her away from her dad.

Posting on here is quite obviously going to attract negative comments about what's happening.

My post is not positive no. But I think it's fair

I'd like to think my comments were the positive ones.

I'd still wouldn't want any child of mine to be brought up in a country where men use women as portable potties.

So, she’s sending him to her dad’s for all the holidays? How would only one person have enough holidays to cover this?

There is not a complete breakdown in law and order in UK. There are whole sways of the UK that are perfectly law abiding and safe. It is highly likely that someone who can secure a lifestyle in Dubai as a single mother is either independently of means or has a skill base that means she is not living in high crime areas in UK. The weather in Dubai is far too hot for most Europeans who spend most of their lives in air conditioned buildings. Add the toxic culture and attitude to women and it is really hard to understand why someone would want to be a single mother in that society.

Yeah that's a good point. If she is going back to the UK every holiday she will resent not having the same experiences as her friends who will be doing stuff together without her.
I've raised children in a different country to my own. And it's doable and can be enriching. But you have to be careful not to create a feeling of dislocation. Third country kids is worth looking up. Its one thing visiting family in another country, another if it's her father. I know people do raise children in different places to one parent. But it's a big step to take and you might want to read around how best to mitigate that.