To hate most men?

If you want love, get a pet. If you want 24/7 misery, get a man.

Statistically unlikely murder you though. Or anyone else come to that. Unlike sons.
I just didn’t want to create another male.

YANAABU

Most men I deal with in my daily life are just fine. Most men I interact with online are hideous, but that’s somewhat self selecting.

I think the vast majority of men are probably ok, but the fact so few of them will stand up for women when it matters is very problematic.

Yeah, this is a statistics that is well known but there doesn't seem to be much that turns the perspective on what size cohort of the male population are the abusers. I'm willing to believe that a smaller population of men wreak a lot of havoc abuse doled out to multiple women. But I still couldn't tell you what that number is.

If we could choose your dating pool would be much bigger 😁

Yes. They should all be banned. It should be a women only site and MN should check identity.

What a wonderful idea.

It's not just the filthy personal habits but the disgusting perversions. I watched a program last night about men paying for drinks that have had dirty underwear soaked in it. Women wouldn't even consider doing something like this.

If nearly one in three women have been subjected to physical and/or sexual violence (stats as above published by the UN) then who is committing the violence? Note this figure does not include sexual harassment which makes it even more shocking.

I had a conversation with DH a while back, asking him who the abusive men are at his place of work. His answer: none.
His place of work is very male-dominated, around 95% of employees are men. They’re all great blokes…no abusers there, no definitely not. It’s the other types of men who are abusing one in three women.

Has anyone else noticed a huge rise in male contributors to this site?

They love coming on to tell us how we’re wrong about navigating male violence and misogyny as women. They know so much better than us women… on a women’s site… and they don’t see their own misogyny

Very well said

We are all collectively TRAUMATISED by men

If you're talking about your select group of friends @LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta then you have my sympathy...you seem to have had a particularly shit run of luck with quite so many extreme experiences. However, your comment reads as if you're talking about us 'all'. And if so, no, we're really not.

Don't get me wrong, i've definitely experienced misogyny from some unpleasant men and it's a problem that needs addressing. I've been beeped at by 'white van men', talked down to by a select few douchebags in my male-dominated workplace. And having your arse pinched in busy clubs in my late teens was unavoidable. Yeuchh. Plus encountered the 'smile love' arseholes once or twice.

But posts like those outlining multiple experiences of being leered at since 11, nearly being raped many times, chased by men, wanked at, groped, having groups of men shout at you...well, I simply cannot relate at all.

I absolutely sympathise but framing this experience of life around men and so many horrendous, extreme experiences as 'common', implying we're all living in fear and experiencing the same kind of journey is just simply untrue ime.

I'm not saying that the OP or women in general don't have legitimate beefs, just that I find it ironic that women are always banging on about mysogny, when my life experience is that hatred of the opposite sex is 1000 times more prevalent in women

@RetiredMan I have been pondering your post. You say you are retired, so will have seen and heard of things during your lifetime. I am in my 50s so not too far behind you I assume, age wise. I too went to boarding school.

I am not sure that things have changed that much over the years. Is it possible that you might have overlooked certain things that were just deemed as normal behaviour, she can't take a joke, she is so sensitive etc etc comments? I certainly know this to be the norm and especially during my school time.

It is just more recently that the sheer volume of this behaviour is being spoken about openly. If I had gone to the Headmaster to tell him that John was teasing me, I would get laughed out of his office. It is something boys did, and we were told it was alright, because that is how they showed us they liked us. It is just all sorts of wrong though, don't you agree. This is a minor example, but of course it goes way further than this. If I think back, the only male that really called anyone of them out, was my older brother who was at the same boarding school as me. Because he could see it hurt me.

My life experience (from a similar era) just seems so different from yours. Maybe that is because your experience from from a different side.

Honestly I think men have been rendered obsolete by evolution. We should just get rid of them except for a few who could be kept in captivity so that their sperm can be extracted for breeding purposes.
The world would be a much happier and productive place if it was populated entirely by women.

YANBU. Beyond my own DH and two sons, I encounter very few men in day to day life that aren't awful in one respect or another.

I was running through a park yesterday, and passed a man walking towards me. He gestured to the woman running a little bit in front of me - a woman who was physically much larger than me, that's important context - and chortled "You two are like a before and after photo"

I responded to this wheezing, unkempt man, who was much larger than the woman he was referring to, with "I'm surprised you felt comfortable saying that out loud". He said "It was a compliment, you humourless bitch"

Why are all the decent men NOT standing up and saying this? Have they not noticed what many men are like? Do they not read the papers?

You honestly don't know that. That is as reliable a statement as incel ideology: 'women just want your wallet' or racist ideology 'black people have lower IQ' or 'Muslims all want to rape your daughters'. Horrific, idiotic statements.

Of course there is sexism and misogyny and it needs to be tackled. But the worst way of doing this is to tell all men: you are sexist beasts and you hate us.' It's not encouraging a fair and open or helpful dialogue about tackling the issue.

I'd rather say (and believe to be true) 'Please would all decent men - and there are many of you, of all ages - stand up against misogyny. Be vocal in your distain for it. Challenge it if you see it in action in public. Mock it if your mates make sexist comments in the pub. Discuss it properly with your family. Let everyone know how pathetic and uncool you think it is. Real men aren't sexist.'

Encourage men to be proud of being decent and honourable. Show that is a manly, powerful way to live.

If you tell someone you 'know' they are a piece of shit - how likely are you to appeal to their best qualities?

This is an excellent post. this is true. There was a sweet teenage boy on the radio a couple of months ago, saying that if you type 'masculinity' into a search engine it is almost invariably coupled with the word 'toxic'.

The internet pours misogynist porn at adolescent boys. Schools have rightly focused on encouraging girls to be and do anything. Buit they need to have an equal focus on boys - that it is manly to be kind or artistic or quiet. That there are many ways to be an excellent man. That masculinity often comes with a strength they can and should be proud of harnessing for good. That emotional connection is enriching to their lives, day by day and over the years - that relationships are about more than sex. That courtesy is cool.

Brilliant post

The title says 'Most men'

You're speaking from male privilege and unreflected misogyny. So is the other bloke. You have NOT had the lived experiences of the majority of women because nen are NOT interested in you sexually. Therefore, you have not been leered at since the age of 11 and exposed to vile comments like, you must have a pretty cunt too; or had frightening experiences such as walking to your car in a parking lot and a man coming out from between cars pulling out his penis and wanking it while staring at you; or had to fight off a 'friend' in his car, who had offered you a lift home; or were pulled over on a dark empty highway adding oil to your old car and had a guy stop and start saying how he likes young girls with blond hair and you manage to escape by pushing him down a ditch and driving off and only closing the car door when you had reached 50 miles a hour; had your partner punishing you for not wanting sex, saying things like are you stupid, are you frigid, what's wrong with you; or had your higher degree supervisor run his hand up your leg and then say, I'd better not, my wife will kill me; or having a client say he prefers working with men; or been screamed at aggressively by a bunch of guys because you didn't smile when they told you to.

These are just SOME of MY lived experiences as a woman. I have HUNDREDS more of these stories. I have very fortunately NOT been raped, but it was fucking close on several occasions. ALL of my friends have similar or worse stories and 3 out of 7 HAVE been raped. One even got pregnant and had to abort.

We are all collectively TRAUMATISED by men.

So everyone here, including the bloody NAMALT women, there are fucking good reasons for women being afraid of men and HATING what they have done and what they continue to do.

And the bloke I am replying to, you have in your hand access to the many many many stories, academic studies, and discussions about this topic. You can also readily find sites where men post photos of their sleeping wife in sexually explicit poses; or hear men discussing how you've got to treat your wife mean to get sex from her; or hear men saying that women only want 666; or hear men discussing women in vile demeaning terms. These are not a few sites occupied by a few deviants. These are thousand of sites occupied by ordinary men, raised in the patriarchy to despise women. And the so-called good guys, like you think you are - they are the worst, because they have unreflected misogyny and are so fucking ignorant of it that they add further to this massive problem.

Do better. Read, think before you decide to share your ignorance with women on one of the few sites for women.

Completely agree - I'd include a very abusive ex husband too. I do like men, I have sons and nephews and male friends but I will never live with one again. There's also this:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/mar/08/i-adore-my-children-im-also-scared-that-one-day-my-son-will-kill-me

Yes, maybe.
I never wanted kids and "the change" was in the mind, not that much in the body. I'm 46 now
and it feels like being a different person. Not much physical signs of (peri) menopause, but sure it's only a question of time. 😐

You have obviously not spent anytime on online gaming sites. I am screamed at daily by men, that im a bitch, slut, shut the fuck up, they are going to rape me till i fucking die all because i happen to be better at a game than they are. This is daily. from teenage boys to grown men

You are correct that this pp did not post the correct figures.

But here they are as at 2025:

https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/facts-and-figures/facts-and-figures-ending-violence-against-women

Here is a snapshot if people do not want to open the link.

• Global scale of violence against women: An estimated 840 million women – almost one in three – have been subjected to physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both at least once in their life (30 per cent of women aged 15 and older). This figure, which does not include sexual harassment, has remained largely unchanged in the last two decades. Progress in reducing intimate partner violence has been very slow over the last two decades with only a 0.2 per cent annual decline. Women who have experienced violence are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety disorders, unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections and HIV, with long-lasting consequences.