To hate most men?

I've recently turned 50 and it's frankly distressing how wide open my eyes are now to how awful so many men are.

Warning - this is upsetting, about rape, please scroll past if you need to..

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I had one particular realisation about how rape is used as a war tactic, over the course of millennia, and around the globe. Obviously I've always thought it was horrific, but something really clicked about how many men have raped women with the express purpose of torturing them. It's like, I can imagine someone being so full of hate that they would torture someone, but this form of torture requires them to be physically turned on by it. I suddenly realised how this is so utterly alien to me. I mean, (if I'm being really honest) if I was so consumed with hate, maybe I could imagine torturing someone .. But would I get turned on by that? No!!

I disagree, I just think women are so used to the threat it seems normal.

Young women planning how to safely get home after a night out so no one is left alone.

Every woman who's ever taken their headphones off or walked with their keys between their fingers just in case.

The fact that I have had to talk to my teenage daughters about "shout fire, don't shout help" and "don't let them take you to a second location".

Women live under threat all of the time.

Women wanting not to be raped and murdered is not remotely equivalent to men wanting to rape and murder women.

Hence why misogyny and misandry aren't equivalent.

I didn't say live in fear, I just said worry.
I very much doubt any women you know live in fear of being attacked by a women.
But just bear in mind that some women do worry about being attacked by men.

@EarthlyNightshade I doubt many women I know live in fear of being attacked and killed by a man or a woman. I definitely wouldn't spend my life in fear of half the population but I'm sure there are some who do. As for snorting, the whole issue seems daft

Misandry and misogyny are common on the net. People make bold statements online which may or may not reflect their true feelings. Generally speaking I’d say I bump into more misogynistic type posts due to women’s faces and bodies being a hot topic for criticism/ridicule.

In day to day life my own experiences strongly suggest covert misogyny is in the bones of British culture. So much so, I’d suggest that women are also conditioned to treat other women with contempt (at times). There’s also a global problem of male violence against women.

I’ve been in various jobs in my working life and experienced forms of sexual harassment from 16 yrs old and off and on through to my late forties. The more recent experiences were probably in part fuelled by perceived low status (mine)vs high status and gross entitlement on their part. If you want to see the predatory side of male behaviour, work alone in a low paid job. Sometimes working with others is no protection, either.

yabu. I’d love to see everyone in here if Pistonheads started a thread like this. There’d be outrage

Do the men in your life worry much about being attacked or killed by women?
Or know anyone who has?

I don't find the snorting, etc in public specifically men-related, I dislike that across the board but I do think that many women have reason to properly hate and fear men, and even on a women-centred forum like this, people don't accept that.

And i have a 17 year old Son, yes i point out the horrid things that are in the news, the things that women have to deal with. I want him to be a decent respectful partner who treats everyone as a human.

I also point out how proud i am of him, his achievements, his attitude, the fact he is gentle, warm and kind and helps others. That that is what makes him a man, that is where his strength comes from.. not his hormones or his muscles

Hardly the opposite - incel sites want to recruit more men into believing that women are less than human, only good foids for breading, deserved to be raped and not have the same rights as a man.

Most of the mums in here are sick of the way women in general are treated and want men to be better, more compassionate and less violent

In some ways I think this forum is the opposite version of an incel's site. It's a self-selected pool of individuals who agree with the central premise. Thep probably ( hopefully) wouldn't repeat what they post here to their son's..

Believe me, we had several rows about it! And I would make him go and clean it up if he hadn't already left for work.
But it wouldn't stop it from happening again, because he was "really pushed for time". Really? REALLY?!!

I agree - however I was on the train the other day and was surprised how many women were sniffing really loudly and watching their phones without headphones.

Absolutely.
OP sounds awful.

Yes, i remember reading something that said 'its lucky women only want equal rights and treatment and not revenge'

Hm.... one small post is hardly much. Just wait when women start killing and abusing men to the scale you tripods are at it! Men are responsible for 99% of all grapes, child x abuse, murders, assaults, attacks, robberies....

That might be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read, and he’s lucky you didn’t smother him in his sleep. The dirty bastard.

YANBU

Ahhhh, how original, another man hating thread.

Dont women have anything else to talk about in their lives?

If you all hate them so much, why do you think, write and obsess about them so much?

I work with a guy, who seems pleasant, nice and respectable He seems to have a good marriage and well achieving children. A perfect marriage and family.

We were talking about the gym and he says he signed up to one so that his daughter could join, bolting on to a parents membership.

I asked him what he now does at the gym, expecting to hear him talk about which machines he goes on, or spinning class, squash etc.

No, he replied that he stands around and looks at women's arses. And he said it just like that. Like it was just a regular answer to a regular question.

Hm... nope. ALL women have bad experiences with men. But some women loath themselves so much because society only respects men, even when pretending to respect everyone, that they still constantly hamper after men.

I was watching people at the local cafe one day. I noticed that when women placed an order the servers were bland and didn't even look at the client. When a man came up to order his stupid coffee, the demeanor changed right away, they were more attentive, more polite and serviceable. And if this is common in a coffee shop, imagine what goes on everywhere else in society.

I dont tell them that, I mainly stay out of their way. Also it is not my fucking job to appeal to anything or anyone. Particularly the "best qualities" of men.

Men have made womanhood a life wrecking experience for me at times.

'You honestly don't know that. That is as reliable a statement as incel ideology'

I dont have to make reliable statements for you. Get off your knees and read something, talk to other women, open your eyes and look around you. Anything at all but seriously fuck off telling me what to think about men.

The world you live in where men hold other men accountable is a complete fantasy. Very few if any are doing that.

You must have lived a sheltered life, I envy you.

You also have internalised misogyny. You would rather disbelieve women, or think they must have brought rape and daily intimidation and disrespect on themselves. Because otherwise it's a scary thought that means you are vulnerable too.

If you refuse to believe individual women, or women collectively telling their stories, look at the statistics for the UK alone. I won't bother putting the sources, you can look them up:

-56% of women have taken safety measures like using phones as props or carrying keys as weapons in the past year

• 47% of girls aged 11-21 feel unsafe due to misogyny
• 2.2 million women/girls over 16 in England and Wales experienced domestic abuse last year. That's 7 percent of that population, more than1 in 20.
• 97% of women aged 18-24 report lifetime sexual harassment. Only 4% reported an incident to the police. Last year, 8% of women experienced sexual harassment. This rises to 23% for women aged 16-24.

These are MILLIONS of women who are being beaten, raped, harrassed, intimidated, abused annually. They form a HUGE swathe of the female population. Do you really think it's just a few deviant men who are doing this? It's not. It's at least a large minority, and then there's another large minority of men on top of who don't do ANYthing when they witness their friends making horrible comments about women or talking about sex their wife owes them or 'joking' that they they would "do her" when a young woman walks past.

I get it, it is actually impossible, when you live in a patriarchy, to not have it distort your thinking about women and behaviour to women. But that means every decent human has the responsibility to recognise the effects of patriarchical thinking on their own views and to fight against it within themself.

That includes you. Or would you rather continue thinking that women are making it all up, because then YOU feel safe?

Sons are very statistically unlikely to murder their mother. Granted more likely than a daughter, but your statistically more likely to killed by a scented candle. You have a very wrapped sense of risk.

Most men I deal with in everyday life seem just fine. But it doesn't take much to scrape the surface and see what's underneath. And ALL of them seem eager to cheat.