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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate most men?

342 replies

Carlie97 · 10/02/2026 17:25

I'm not speaking about the whole male population, of course, but they're so pig ignorant. Sexist, bullish with disgusting habits. I'm currently sat in a cafe and a man, looks to be in his 60's is doing that deep throaty sniff in and sneezed so loud, I almost choked on my fish. Then there are the men who spit in public. Earlier I endured a man constantly sniffing on the train for half an hour. Women are like this too, but men are far worse. Enduring these men is a daily occurrence.

OP posts:
Gahr · 12/02/2026 13:02

EarthlyNightshade · 12/02/2026 12:56

And it's interesting that it's only Ghislaine Maxwell in prison in relation to Jeffrey Epstein and not the countless men involved.

The fact that a few women have done some awful things does not take away from the fact that it is mainly men (not all men, I add, in case you think that is what I am saying) but almost always men.

I mean, she was his procurer! And he was in prison as well. I of course agree that all the people concerned need to be brought to account, but Ghilasne being in prison isn't because she is a woman.

Gahr · 12/02/2026 12:57

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 12:55

Easily groomed and will do literally anything men say. Reminds me of some people.... 🤔

You really see Rose West as a victim? Holy fuck.

EarthlyNightshade · 12/02/2026 12:56

Gahr · 12/02/2026 12:45

Could you be a little more condescending, please? I don't think that you really got the message through.
Also, explain Rose West. Myra Handley, Ghilasne Maxwell, and the countless women who offered their babies up to Ian Watkins. It's not only not all men. It is also not just men.

And it's interesting that it's only Ghislaine Maxwell in prison in relation to Jeffrey Epstein and not the countless men involved.

The fact that a few women have done some awful things does not take away from the fact that it is mainly men (not all men, I add, in case you think that is what I am saying) but almost always men.

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 12:55

Gahr · 12/02/2026 12:45

Could you be a little more condescending, please? I don't think that you really got the message through.
Also, explain Rose West. Myra Handley, Ghilasne Maxwell, and the countless women who offered their babies up to Ian Watkins. It's not only not all men. It is also not just men.

Easily groomed and will do literally anything men say. Reminds me of some people.... 🤔

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 12:54

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 12:07

You've just highlighted the problem right there.

How many women feel safe in asking a strange man to stop doing something disgusting? And why do so many not?

'a man, looks to be in his 60's is doing that deep throaty sniff in and sneezed so loud, I almost choked on my fish.'

The man clearly had a cold.

Seriously, so much drama and hatred over a man with a cold!

Threads likes these have nothing to do with women's rights and everything to do with hatred and people with nothing productive to do with their sad lives. I do have a productive life and am now off to enjoy it with the company of the lovely men in my life.

Winelondon · 12/02/2026 12:51

Carlie97 · 10/02/2026 17:25

I'm not speaking about the whole male population, of course, but they're so pig ignorant. Sexist, bullish with disgusting habits. I'm currently sat in a cafe and a man, looks to be in his 60's is doing that deep throaty sniff in and sneezed so loud, I almost choked on my fish. Then there are the men who spit in public. Earlier I endured a man constantly sniffing on the train for half an hour. Women are like this too, but men are far worse. Enduring these men is a daily occurrence.

Flagrant misandry her. Lucky you are not a man saying this i suspect you would be rightly called out

Gahr · 12/02/2026 12:49

bigboykitty · 12/02/2026 08:08

And there it is...

And there what is?

Gahr · 12/02/2026 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Gahr · 12/02/2026 12:45

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 12/02/2026 09:42

She has internalised misogyny, that's why she's defensive. A lot of women have it, I had it and still catch myself thinking misogynistic thoughts about women. It's a work in progress, but I am trying.

It's understandable in a way: it's a painful and very scary thing to realise that the majority of men bear attitudes to women that put women at an economic, social, and emotional disadvantage at best and in physical danger at worst. So many people thinks that Epstein and Pelicot and Weinstein and Trump are outliers, but this abusive behaviour isn't confined to the top or a few powerful men or some deviants. It's at every level of society because it is maintained and protected at every level. Across every socioeconomic class, men protect one another and the systems that shield them. This happens in families, schools, workplaces, courts, hospitals, churches, government, and our homes. The scale may change, but the behaviour never does. And they don't protect each other out of loyalty or brotherhood. They do it out of self-interest. Every man understands, consciously or not, that the system protecting other men is the same system that could one day protect him. And most are not horrified by the abuse. In fact, some are jealous that they lack the wealth and access to take their desires that far.

This is the hardest part for most women to accept. It doesn’t make sense because even on your worst day, your most broken, angry, resentful day, you would not fathom anything like this. You could not do this to another person. You would never trade someone else’s body, mind, safety, or childhood for pleasure, status, or power.

So some women would really much rather believe that Epstein and co are outliars, and that women are exaggerating about the abuse they receive at the hands of men at every echelon in society. Because otherwise they would have to see the truth, and it's frightening.

Edited

Could you be a little more condescending, please? I don't think that you really got the message through.
Also, explain Rose West. Myra Handley, Ghilasne Maxwell, and the countless women who offered their babies up to Ian Watkins. It's not only not all men. It is also not just men.

sprigatito · 12/02/2026 12:42

DeathNote11 · 12/02/2026 11:59

Try this: when one's walking towards you on a pavement, fight your instinct & DON'T get out of his way. 9 out of 10 times they just carry on their trajectory, not even noticing you until you shout "oi! Look where you're walking" before they actually barge into you. The look of shock on their faces is v amusing.

I stopped moving out of the way for men years ago (unless they’re very elderly or disabled). The flash of utter non-comprehension on their faces when they realise THEY are going to have to move makes me laugh every time. It’s small, everyday challenges to that cast-iron entitlement that make the most meaningful difference, imo. I saw it referred to on a different website as “patriarchy chicken”.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 12:13

Highlighta · 12/02/2026 12:10

I was just about to reply this exact same comment.

As well as to point out this suggestion to go elsewhere.

It just is not sinking in for some is it. Sigh.

Men’s disgusting behaviour is women’s responsibility.

Same as it ever was.

DeathNote11 · 12/02/2026 12:12

BeaRightThere · 12/02/2026 12:03

You sound utterly pathetic

I don't give a monkeys what men & their cheerleaders think.

Highlighta · 12/02/2026 12:10

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 12:07

You've just highlighted the problem right there.

How many women feel safe in asking a strange man to stop doing something disgusting? And why do so many not?

I was just about to reply this exact same comment.

As well as to point out this suggestion to go elsewhere.

It just is not sinking in for some is it. Sigh.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 12:07

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:27

My reply was directed to the OP who wrote a post about hating most men after sitting in a cafe near a man who blew his nose. She then want on to swear at another poster who put forward a different POV hence my comment.

All a load of nonsense over something with very simple solutions. Don't sit near the person blowing their nose, try a different cafe, speak to them and ask them not to blow their nose. The solutions are many. Why would it occur to someone that the solution is posting about it on an internet forum? It's the usual wind-up and hate spreading and nothing originally to do with 'women's rights.'

You've just highlighted the problem right there.

How many women feel safe in asking a strange man to stop doing something disgusting? And why do so many not?

BeaRightThere · 12/02/2026 12:03

DeathNote11 · 12/02/2026 11:59

Try this: when one's walking towards you on a pavement, fight your instinct & DON'T get out of his way. 9 out of 10 times they just carry on their trajectory, not even noticing you until you shout "oi! Look where you're walking" before they actually barge into you. The look of shock on their faces is v amusing.

You sound utterly pathetic

DeathNote11 · 12/02/2026 11:59

Try this: when one's walking towards you on a pavement, fight your instinct & DON'T get out of his way. 9 out of 10 times they just carry on their trajectory, not even noticing you until you shout "oi! Look where you're walking" before they actually barge into you. The look of shock on their faces is v amusing.

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 11:48

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:11

How do you mean?

0/10

Try harder. If this is your path you will need to do much better than that.

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:27

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:18

The conversation has moved on somewhat, wouldn’t you say?

And isn’t the fact that men feel they can do what ever disgusting act they wish in public not part of that wider conversation of women’s safety?

My reply was directed to the OP who wrote a post about hating most men after sitting in a cafe near a man who blew his nose. She then want on to swear at another poster who put forward a different POV hence my comment.

All a load of nonsense over something with very simple solutions. Don't sit near the person blowing their nose, try a different cafe, speak to them and ask them not to blow their nose. The solutions are many. Why would it occur to someone that the solution is posting about it on an internet forum? It's the usual wind-up and hate spreading and nothing originally to do with 'women's rights.'

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:18

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:15

Blowing your nose in a cafe isn't 'raising a legitimate concern about women's rights' ..!

The conversation has moved on somewhat, wouldn’t you say?

And isn’t the fact that men feel they can do what ever disgusting act they wish in public not part of that wider conversation of women’s safety?

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:15

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:13

It means, when women raise legitimate concerns about women’s rights, safety and quality of life, why do you leap, aggressively, to the defence of men?

Blowing your nose in a cafe isn't 'raising a legitimate concern about women's rights' ..!

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:13

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:11

How do you mean?

It means, when women raise legitimate concerns about women’s rights, safety and quality of life, why do you leap, aggressively, to the defence of men?

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 11:11

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 11:08

Turning your (crap) gaslighting on yourself right on cue.

Genuinely. Does it help?

How do you mean?

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 12/02/2026 11:08

FlowerFairyDaisy · 12/02/2026 10:24

You clearly just hate in general, OP.

Men, women... mostly yourself. I hope you find something productive to do where you can find some happiness. Life is too short for such hatred.

Turning your (crap) gaslighting on yourself right on cue.

Genuinely. Does it help?

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/02/2026 11:01

JHound · 12/02/2026 10:45

I do think there is some truth in this.
Especially the extent to which so many women really underestimate just how many hate women. And tolerate us for domestic labour, emotional labour and, especially, sex.

But I think it’s “many” not “most”.

I think “most” participate in woman hatred in some form or another. Even if it’s just from them benefiting from, or passively or subconsciously agreeing with, the other “many” men being active participants in it.

Would you consider the men who have been on this thread wagging their finger at women part of that “many”. I would.

Would you consider the men who have slept with drunk women/ girls as part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who are aware of their physical advantage over women and, without ever being violent or threatening, utilise that advantage part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who are “friends” with women only in the hope of sleeping with them part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who are aware of, and benefit directly from, the gender pay gap as part of that “many”?

Would you consider men who watch porn part of that “many”?

Which quickly expands it out to “most”.

JHound · 12/02/2026 10:45

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 12/02/2026 09:42

She has internalised misogyny, that's why she's defensive. A lot of women have it, I had it and still catch myself thinking misogynistic thoughts about women. It's a work in progress, but I am trying.

It's understandable in a way: it's a painful and very scary thing to realise that the majority of men bear attitudes to women that put women at an economic, social, and emotional disadvantage at best and in physical danger at worst. So many people thinks that Epstein and Pelicot and Weinstein and Trump are outliers, but this abusive behaviour isn't confined to the top or a few powerful men or some deviants. It's at every level of society because it is maintained and protected at every level. Across every socioeconomic class, men protect one another and the systems that shield them. This happens in families, schools, workplaces, courts, hospitals, churches, government, and our homes. The scale may change, but the behaviour never does. And they don't protect each other out of loyalty or brotherhood. They do it out of self-interest. Every man understands, consciously or not, that the system protecting other men is the same system that could one day protect him. And most are not horrified by the abuse. In fact, some are jealous that they lack the wealth and access to take their desires that far.

This is the hardest part for most women to accept. It doesn’t make sense because even on your worst day, your most broken, angry, resentful day, you would not fathom anything like this. You could not do this to another person. You would never trade someone else’s body, mind, safety, or childhood for pleasure, status, or power.

So some women would really much rather believe that Epstein and co are outliars, and that women are exaggerating about the abuse they receive at the hands of men at every echelon in society. Because otherwise they would have to see the truth, and it's frightening.

Edited

I do think there is some truth in this.
Especially the extent to which so many women really underestimate just how many hate women. And tolerate us for domestic labour, emotional labour and, especially, sex.

But I think it’s “many” not “most”.