To hate most men?

I fully agree with you 100%!

I can't stand men, never could and never will. Vile creatures, a lot of whom have serious anger issues, are always shouting and being nasty and aggressive.

Assuming cafe man was a stranger to you, OP? In which case, you know nothing about him at all. You have no idea what his daily struggles might be, or the people who love him, or the contributions he has made to society and the world. The same applies for any woman or man that you don't know.

I would urge you to take a good look at your life. Because it's really rather sad if all you have to do is hate men that you don't know - and then log on to MN and tell other strangers how much you 'hate' a stranger in a cafe - and most other men!

Do you have a local food bank you could help out with, perhaps? You ought to do something useful like all the men I know do (scout leaders and helpers, sports coaches, volunteer groups).

Hating on all men is also an ignorant and disgusting habit. Logging on to MN to tell strangers how much you hate them suggests you are very lonely indeed.

That man could have fought in wars for all you know. Have you done that, OP? Have you contributed anything to the world except misery and hatred?

There are far better uses of your time. And here's an idea that clearly hasn't occurred to you yet - there are other cafes!

Another demented viewpoint

Men have not the slightest clue what the lived experience of being a woman is. I am far from alone when I say that unwanted attention started when I was about 11 years old: cat-calling, white vans tooting as I walked along the road. Groped at the pictures, on trains, walking down the street. Exposed to in parks, and again just on the street...I didn't understand what they were doing because I was a child. Everything then just went downhill from then on.

Many men are abusive and many are rapists, see Gisele Pelicot - an ordinary town and just look at the numbers of men who were involved in that case. It's not isolated either, wasn't there a case a few weeks ago in UK, too?

Look at Literature, Look at the Bible - rampant, rampant misogyny all the way in so many cases. It is build into our culture and it's going to take a lot to dismantle.

I'm a man in my 40's, my experience is similar to yours - I have had the misfortune to meet a couple of nasty blokes, but the vast majority are decent, hard working, good husbands/boyfriends to their wives/partners, good dads, upstanding members of the community.

I've never met any men who hate women, but I have encountered a few women who, like many on this thread have a deep seated mistrust / disliking for men.

The conclusion I have come to, is that in most cases, these people have had one, or maybe more than one bad experience with a bad guy, which of course has coloured their view.

There is a woman a few doors down who has had a succession of unpleasant, abusive partners, police called etc. but every time she enthusiastically introduces the new bloke, you get that sinking feeling - she is obviously attracted to an underclass of man who ends up being a wrong un, the old "bad boys" trope.

Most of us are just a bit dull and boring, but quite harmless!

I may be wrong, but I don't think this is true. As a retired man, I have never in my life heard or read men talking with hatred about women the way I often see women in this forum talk about men. Not even as a teenager in a boarding school where everyone I met gave zero fucks about political correctness.

I'm not saying that the OP or women in general don't have legitimate beefs, just that I find it ironic that women are always banging on about mysogny, when my life experience is that hatred of the opposite sex is 1000 times more prevalent in women.

(I don't think incel forums count as a counter-example, a valid example would have to be a forum that doesn't specifically attract people for the purpose of hate.)

You can't post a title like "hate most men" and then try to argue that you're not stereotyping a whole group. Of course you are and it's not cricket. The men I know are lovely- my school and uni friends are happily married to the women they've been with for decades, my male relatives are lovely and caring, my husband is an annoying good egg, my son's make me cry with happiness and would never be as unkind and bitchy as you. What if i said i hate most women because i hate a lot of the mumsnet bitchiness and inability to accept differences? You can fuck off with your polarisation and stereotyping.

Maybe hormone differences. I had a child at 42,and didn't start menopause until well into 50's.

There’s a lot to hate about men.

Andy Mountbatten-Windsor

Epstein

Mandelson

Queues of men lining up to spend a few minutes with Lily Phillips or Bonnie Blue

Naked woman paraded by jeering Hamas fighters and Celebrating crowd surround the armed men, shouting ‘Allah Akbar’

Afghan asylum seeker guilty of raping girl, 12

Misogyny

Pedophiles

Rapists

Domestic Violence

Child Abuse

Animal Abuse

Murderers

The list could go on and on and on and on and on…

There are some decent good men about but they are a rarity.

YANBU

Yes but everyone says their husband/son is lovely and it’s just ‘everyone else’. But no doubt the ‘everyone else’ men have mothers who think they’re lovely.

I have a son and a husband, I do my best in raising my son, I love him (he’s only 3), my husband is I believe a fundamentally decent person who has never said or done anything to give me cause for concern. When we discuss the topic he seems to ‘get it’.

But having been on the receiving end of some seriously dodgy behaviour from men who were the apple of their mum’s eye, whose mums would swear ‘would never do that’, I’m not going to assume my judgement regarding DH or DS is superior to theirs. All I can say is that I don’t think my son or husband would behave that way, but I will never know for certain.

Believe me having a girl isn’t much better - you worry about them constantly.

Last night watching the BBC news it was depressing to see how much of it was dominated by male violence and sexual assault, either directly or indirectly. Lead item being Starmer and the fallout from Epstein and Mandelson, then a quick mention of Lord Doyle and his link with a sex offender, followed by two children being stabbed, then the rape of a twelve year old.
Literally the whole first half of the news completely devoted to it.

One of the numerous reasons I never had children was because of the possibility of having a boy so I for one would totally understand the disappointment.

I've said this before but all female co housing is the answer. We have out own little space but lots of shared areas too.

The next time a woman posts a gender disappointment thread about having a boy and is piled on and made to feel like shit for her feelings I’ll point her in the direction of this lovely thread 🙄🙄

There is obviously a problem with some groups of men (Epstein, grooming gangs etc) but in my own life most men have been lovely. DH, DDad, my daughter’s partner are all fantastic. For the most part, the people who have hurt me in life have been women.

My MIL is in her 70s and has been divorced for decades. She's not looked for another partner because she says that men of her generation expect to be waited on. From observing FIL I see her point.

YABU and you're a bigot.

This kind of thread is no more reasonable than one titled "to hate most immigrants/jews/muslims/etc"

I wouldn't hate men for sniffing etc. That seems a very minor reason to do so. Sounds like you have long standing issues against men anyway.

I don’t hate them but I have to really work at it. Between my ex-husband, the average plonker you meet on dating sites and the contents of the Epstein files I really don’t think a man will ever touch me again.

It’s the entitlement of everyday men that winds me up the most.. little things like not giving way in the car when they should do, stepping in front of you in shops, going first… not to mention the unpaid invisible labour we all end up doing that they would never acknowledge. I don’t want a relationship with one, I really don’t.

Oh my god.

He shat in the shower! 😶

Looking back now do you also wonder how on earth you tolerated that?

Absolutely yanbu

Just yesterday I was in a pharmacy and had to bend down to the lower racks to find what I was looking for.

The was a man standing not right next to me, but close enough for me to get that disgusting whiff from him. As I bent down, I realised he had farted.

How is that okay. That is disgusting. You are not 2 years old and can't keep it in. Go find the toilet you revolting human.

I am still annoyed about it.

I'm in my 50s too and my tolerance for men is very low.

Good for you. These men never stand up to the group despite knowing the behaviour is unacceptable. What was the other reptile trying to say to your daughter? They were also probably doing this to make you uncomfortable as they knew you most likely wouldn’t say anything so it’s a form of intimidation and demonstration of their power - simply by being men in a group. The same brigade who leer out of car windows, but never alone. Pathetic.

I can beat that.
My ex-husband had bowel/pooping problems (think constipation - but of course never actually went to a doctor to try to sort it out). He used to poop in the shower - I think he used to pull it out 😳. Bad enough, but how did i know?
Because i would get in the shower and there would be lumps of poo in there, in the folds of the shower curtain 🤮
When I pointed out how disgusting this was, he said it wasn't his fault because he couldn't see it - he had very bad eyesight and obviously didn't wear his glasses whilst showering .
It never occurred to him to put his glasses on after showering and clean up the poo!!
This wasn't a one off either...
Unsurprisingly that killed off all sexual desire, and then, eventually, the marriage.

Not all men, but too fucking many ...