To feel annoyed I can never have a drink because I always have to collect Dh from work?

I mentioned this earlier. He sounds very controlling and the OP is going along with it.

It’s not about having a drink - it’s about try fact that every evening she can’t make any plans as she has to wait around and pick him up. So no gym, hobbies, seeing friends… all because a grown man won’t walk 30 minutes…

This is hilarious. I don't like cleaning bathrooms or cooking or an awful lot of the parenting grind. Who cares? I'm an adult and I suck it up.

I take the bus to work. It is often crowded and hot and I don't enjoy a second of it. My husband works at home. I guess he could drive me to work but that would be ridiculous as we are grownups who can sort out our own lives and there's a perfectly reasonable option for me to get to work without his input.

I still think this is hugely concerning controlling behaviour to ensure your partner gets less sleep, no time to herself and is tied down to his schedule. It is absolutely ridiculous that she leaves the house early to drop him off, goes and has a full day at work, cooks and cleans and sorts out the house and then picks him up at 9pm. that's her entire week without a second to herself or to see friends or to just have an evening off.

I'm not really a drinker but even I don't see an issue with her having a glass of wine with a friend now and again. And actually she couldn't even have a coffee with a friend either as she has an actual curfew. A grown woman with a curfew! The alcohol is not at all the point and hopefully the OP sees this.

Or perhaps things are exactly as described and she is challenged by the responses.

Does she think this is normal and acceptable?

Is it even true?

What a ridiculous argument. I don’t like working, should I just expect my partner to take on all the financial burden for our family?

What if the OP doesn't like driving at 9 pm five nights a week?

She picks him up every night because he "doesn't like walking" come on, that's not reasonable on his part lol.
If he doesn't like walking an Uber or a bus once a month won't hurt him.
I don't like walking either but don't expect DH to pick me up every night. That'd be incredibly tying for him, no night to himself to relax.

@ShowMeTheSea

erm because he doesn’t like walking? So OP should pick him up

Cross posted - exactly

There's nothing wrong with wanting an occasional glass of wine for goodness sake.
Anyway, you're focusing on the wrong thing here. Whether it's a glass of wine or a sparkling soda water, what, she has to be available and pick him up every single night? Is she not allowed any time to herself? Surely there's nothing wrong with say every other Friday not having to schlep out and stay at home watching telly/going out with a friend or whatever.

It’s not about the alcoholic drink is it? It’s the tethering. Resentment has seeped in. Unsurprisingly.

@Pardonthegarden

Yes, her partner should come before alcohol. He is more important than a glass of wine. I can’t believe she’s even questioning it tbh.

@PlumDeNomNomNom

prrcisely. OP sounds like she’s on a very slippery slope to me…

Omg, what a precious dumpling he is! The lazy bugger needs to learn to use his legs. If they chafe then he could get some of that anti-chafing stuff. Our school run is 30 minutes and my three dc walked it from age 4. Tell him to get a grip and enjoy your glass of wine. If he was single he’d have to sort himself out wouldn’t he.

*AnotherHormonalWoman comments like this, "have a non-alcoholic cocktail" "enjoy a lovely non alcoholic drink are so missing the point there. If you want and crave and need that glass of wine at the end of the day but especially at the end of a week, on a Friday- you should be allowed to have one. A "non alcoholic cocktail" just doesn't hit the spot. Crack on drinking your soft drinks if that's what you prefer, but for those of us who enjoy a glass (or bottle- shock horror!) of wine to celebrate the weekend being there, we should be able to without worrying about having to get up and drive out to get a lazy husband.

How hot is it at 9pm even in the summer? The lazy bugger can walk. It will do him good.

Sorry but it sounds controlling to me. Of course he can walk sometimes (always), or drive a bit closer. Or buy a bike and cycle in.

Can you not do one on one off ? Then he gets 2 lifts a month ,and you get 2 boozy nights! Surely though Saturday night is fine for some drinkies though.I drink the Elderflower and sparkling water .or a tomato juice dash of Worcester sauce .Or any sort of AF drinks of which there are many!

Tell him to buy a bike through cycle to work scheme. No such thing as bad weather just bad clothing. 10 minutes on a bike is not sweat inducing!

Just because you value other things more than a wind-down drink and/or a relaxing evening doesn't mean everyone has to.

WOW! this is nuts - i walk an hour home from work with my baby in his buggy no matter the weather no matter if its dark or cold! we wrap up warm and bring wet gear / rain cover

or I cycle with the baby seat on the back in better weather.

it's not that hard

On a Friday when you want a drink he walks home. Thats the obvious solution. Personally I think you drop him and he walks home every night, unless the weather is really bad.

I wouldn't be worrying about this. OP has not come back to clarify lots of questions asked, so I doubt things are exactly as she described.

Been thinking about this and I’m actually concerned that it’s a worse situation than it seems. Any sort of normal adult with any typical fitness level would not expect their partner to leave for work early and sit around waiting for him every single evening for the sake of not walking a short distance. Is he controlling in other ways? Are you able to spend money, make weekend plans, have friends? Or does he expect you to be available to whenever and wherever he wants? As this seems insane any way I look at it.

How about agreeing he gets an uber home on Fridays so you can relax after work whether you have a drink or not?! I don’t drink but I’m asleep by 9-9.30 every night due to some recent health issues so it would kill me to have to go back out at that time!

Honestly OP, sign up to a weekly evening class - just to show yourself that you can.

what are you scared of?