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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take child out with chickenpox

295 replies

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 09:32

DD age 3 had chickenpox. Today is day 7 since they first appeared. She's loved the multiple pyjamas days but we are starting to go stir crazy! She had new spots appear yesterday overnight and I'm not sure any of us can handle another 5 days cooped up indoors. Other than spots she's here usual self (ball of energy!) I was thinking to go out for a walk along the river. Maybe grab a quick take away coffee and cake and perch somewhere outdoors. Thinking 'covid social distancing' style rules would apply here for our own sanity surely?
AIBU?

crossedlines · 10/02/2026 11:19

soupyspoon · 10/02/2026 11:09

I must admit I assumed OP was taking about a drive through but others have assumed she meant going in a cafe. There's plenty of ways to get takeaway food without being in contact with people. OP I would go out for a drink, walk picnic or drive through. Wrap up obviously. I once had a picnic in the snow, was lovely.

The OP didn’t specify drive thru cake and coffee - i expect if there was somewhere local to her where she could pick up cake and coffee without being near anyone then she’d have clarified that. (Perhaps she’ll drip feed it now you’ve put the idea in her head!)

but frankly just mentioning getting take out was a dumb idea. Aside from anything else, it’s so easy to take a drink and snack from home. And often much nicer, because if you’re relying on a totally automated drive thru for cake then you’re probably going to get something shite.

Whyhaveibeencutoutofmamsnot · 10/02/2026 11:18

boobaaaa · 10/02/2026 09:49

I would just go out

Take her out, wrap her up and keep away from everyone.
I had to take my youngest DC out during chickenpox as older DC's had to go to school etc.

ShowMeTheSea · 10/02/2026 11:18

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 11:16

Thankyou. I was actually thinking about the coffee kiosk stand at the start of the country park. I should have added context but again as it is entirely plausible for her to be 2metres+ away away from me whilst I grab these as I mentioned about distancing from others I thought my intention was clear.

Are you expecting there to magically be no other people at the stand though and only you there?
What about the person having to serve you your coffee?

Kirbert2 · 10/02/2026 11:17

Soontobe60 · 10/02/2026 11:04

Awful as it may be for him, I would guess he’s not going to places where other people are going to be in close proximity.
Someone with chicken pox is infectious before the spots appear. If I were the OP, I would wrap my child up, hat, scarf, gloves, drive to a local open woodland and let them have a good walk. I’ve just got back from a 3 mile walk in my local woods - didn’t see a single soul.

After chemo, it can take about 6 months for your immune system to recover. A child who has already been cooped up in hospital for months does need to start having a bit of 'normal' again so is unlikely going to be kept away from the public for 6 months.

Unknowingly catching something like a cold is a risk but someone knowingly going out and risking spreading something like chicken pox is entirely different.

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 11:16

soupyspoon · 10/02/2026 11:09

I must admit I assumed OP was taking about a drive through but others have assumed she meant going in a cafe. There's plenty of ways to get takeaway food without being in contact with people. OP I would go out for a drink, walk picnic or drive through. Wrap up obviously. I once had a picnic in the snow, was lovely.

Thankyou. I was actually thinking about the coffee kiosk stand at the start of the country park. I should have added context but again as it is entirely plausible for her to be 2metres+ away away from me whilst I grab these as I mentioned about distancing from others I thought my intention was clear.

OP posts:
Myeyeisnotokay · 10/02/2026 11:16

I took my DD1 out for walks when she had chickenpox - the fresh air did her good.
I did take her to a cafe, but only after all the spots had crusted - so no longer infectious.
I'd echo not taking her into cafes etc, or letting her get too near others. chicken pox I always thought was pretty standard and not too serious - that is until my DD2 was hospitalised with sepsis from it, aged 3. (She's fine now but it was very scary at the time!)

xOlive · 10/02/2026 11:15

gooeyeye · 10/02/2026 10:23

All right, but if you’ve had chickenpox you’ll be okay

Completely missed the point of not knowing who is vulnerable.
Do you know if I’ve had them? No.
Does the OP know if everyone around her is immune? No.
The point was, the OP wanted to pop into a coffee shop with her infectious child, who she knows is still infectious, without knowing who around her is vulnerable.

soupyspoon · 10/02/2026 11:09

crossedlines · 10/02/2026 11:00

It’s the dumb mention of takeout coffee and cake that’s riled people. Being outside nowhere near anyone else and not touching anything like play equipment seems virtually zero risk. But why on earth would anyone think going into a cafe or shop is acceptable - or even necessary when you can pack a snack to take with you.

I must admit I assumed OP was taking about a drive through but others have assumed she meant going in a cafe. There's plenty of ways to get takeaway food without being in contact with people. OP I would go out for a drink, walk picnic or drive through. Wrap up obviously. I once had a picnic in the snow, was lovely.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 10/02/2026 11:08

I do not see an issue with the a walk along the river, some woodland etc.

but the coffee? Perching on… what? A bank? Any other place meant for people to perch on? You really shouldn’t…

Potentially using play equipment (yes, that wasn’t in the OP. But places to perch with coffee aren’t far removed from play equipment IME) would be a massive no from me, btw.

CloakedInGucci · 10/02/2026 11:06

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:57

Or more likely they would get a chickenpox vaccine....

Maybe you should have done that.

The vaccine isn’t generally suitable for immunocompromised people anyway.

Soontobe60 · 10/02/2026 11:04

Youspurnme · 10/02/2026 09:57

Ffs. My DS’s best friend has just finished chemotherapy. His immune system is still in tatters. He’s 12 years old. Keep your infectious child at home and don’t be so bloody selfish.

Awful as it may be for him, I would guess he’s not going to places where other people are going to be in close proximity.
Someone with chicken pox is infectious before the spots appear. If I were the OP, I would wrap my child up, hat, scarf, gloves, drive to a local open woodland and let them have a good walk. I’ve just got back from a 3 mile walk in my local woods - didn’t see a single soul.

youalright · 10/02/2026 11:03

Walking outside is fine taking your child to the supermarket or a coffee shop is not

wishingonastar101 · 10/02/2026 11:03

I do not understand why people who choose not to vaccinate their children are surprise they will then have to look after sick children until they are better.

I couldn't afford the time off work so had my kids vaccinated...

Yes the chickenpox vaccine is widely available and not too expensive (it will be made free soon...)

DrSpartacularsMagnificentOctopus · 10/02/2026 11:02

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:57

Or more likely they would get a chickenpox vaccine....

The chicken pox vaccine isn't safe for immunocompromised people as it's a live vaccine.

Vaccines generally are often less effective among immunocompromised people.

Kirbert2 · 10/02/2026 11:02

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:57

Or more likely they would get a chickenpox vaccine....

You can't be vaccinated until you are 6 months out from finishing cancer treatment or 1 year after a stem cell transplant so no, it isn't that simple.

ShowMeTheSea · 10/02/2026 11:02

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:41

I sympathise with this entirely and it is a horrific situation. But equally, considering the most contagious phase is 1-2 days before any spots appear and there are likely to be many contagious people walking around every day with multiple unknown infections , would she not be keeping my severely immunocompramised child home and away from others anyway?

there are likely to be many contagious people walking around every day with multiple unknown infections

UNKNOWN being the operative word there.
People walking around knowingly with a contagious disease and not giving a shit or thinking " ah well, I'll risk it anyway" is next level and selfish twat behaviour.

Ididalright · 10/02/2026 11:01

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:57

Or more likely they would get a chickenpox vaccine....

I do think going out for a walk away from anyone is fine, but take your own food/drinks.
You are being very unreasonable about immunocompromised children, if you think they should just stay in all the time what is the harm in your child staying in until they are no longer infectious?

CloakedInGucci · 10/02/2026 11:00

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:57

Or more likely they would get a chickenpox vaccine....

Not generally recommended for severely immunocompromised patients

crossedlines · 10/02/2026 11:00

It’s the dumb mention of takeout coffee and cake that’s riled people. Being outside nowhere near anyone else and not touching anything like play equipment seems virtually zero risk. But why on earth would anyone think going into a cafe or shop is acceptable - or even necessary when you can pack a snack to take with you.

TheIceBear · 10/02/2026 10:59

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:57

Or more likely they would get a chickenpox vaccine....

They can’t get those vaccines

TheIceBear · 10/02/2026 10:59

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:41

I sympathise with this entirely and it is a horrific situation. But equally, considering the most contagious phase is 1-2 days before any spots appear and there are likely to be many contagious people walking around every day with multiple unknown infections , would she not be keeping my severely immunocompramised child home and away from others anyway?

So you are finding it hard to stay indoors for a few weeks with your child yet you think it’s reasonable for an immunocompromised child to stay inside indefinitely

Francestein · 10/02/2026 10:58

Don’t be a dick. It can cause birth defects if a pregnant woman is infected before 20wks.

Bigtom · 10/02/2026 10:58

Sounds fine to me. (FWIW I’m immunocompromised and it wouldn’t worry me if I passed your DD when out for a walk.)

10thlittlemonkey · 10/02/2026 10:57

mazedasamarchhare · 10/02/2026 10:51

So people who have compromised immune systems (that includes folk who have had transplants) need to keep themselves in seclusion for weeks, months or even years (transplant pts) because others can’t cope with a fortnight’s quarantine? Oh alright then, seems entirely reasonable….not!

Or more likely they would get a chickenpox vaccine....

OP posts:
crossedlines · 10/02/2026 10:55

Outside, no where near anyone else should be fine. I’m surprised you mention takeout coffee and cake though. Just take a drink and food from home!