Is DH being mean or am I being precious?

I wouldn't want my DH to take time off in those circumstances. I'd keep my DCs home, do as little as possible, and accept that none of us are going to have the most fun/exciting/fulfilled day - but some days are just rubbish days and when someone's poorly, those days happen.

I feel incredibly sorry for you because sickness bugs are the absolute worst, but he isn't being 'mean'. It's just an unfortunate set of circumstances.

I also think that he will almost certainly get the sickness bug himself and end up needing time off for that, so I don't think it's really reasonable that he can have time off to look after his kids while you're sick too.

Schools are so inflexible with time off - I worked at a school my child attended, and 3 times they had to send my son home (with me, as Dad is not in the picture) so I got a warning!

I can see both points, when I've got sickness I struggle to even look after myself let alone a child, but he also needs to attend work due to the silly inflexibility!

Lol. What?! He can't take a day off work just because you're a bit ill. What he does and how much time he's had off is irrelevant. You're crackers! 🤣

He can take a day but he shouldn’t IMO. Unless OP is bed bound or physically incapable of doing childcare then she just needs to get on with it. It’s shit but it’s one of the downsides of parenting unfortunately.

I would have a friend take ds5 to school and I’d lie in the double bed all day long with a bucket on one side and baby on the other.

i actually had a reset of my life once when i was poorly. My kids were a bit older, I think around 4 & 6. Anyway, I lied on the sofa all day. Absolutely no housework. We didn’t go anywhere, pizza for dinner etc (very unusual). Total no demand from the kids. Anyway my kids loved it, I remember them saying that they didn’t want me to be poorly again, but could we have a sofa day again. I realised a normal day would involve a fair bit of demands (put your shoes on etc) and this day had zero and they loved it!

I think I’d be trying to keep him away from the vomiting as much as possible, to be honest. Whilst he might be able to take today as an unpaid dependents leave, if he starts throwing up himself, that WILL trigger absence procedures.

Chances of him having the sick bug soon are quite high I assume

Do you have a class wats app? Can you put on there could anyone please pick up to help you ?

A mum did that last year when her toddler had sick bug and I went to get her child and took to school

people are usually happy to help - just have to ask

Wtf with all the replies saying your husband is in the right. He can take a day as unpaid parental leave and it won’t impact his sick record.

He can’t just take a day off as a teacher but I find it very strange that dc goes to school and there isn’t a single person you can ask to come and collect and take and pick up from school

does he has no friends or you have none to ask ?

uou can’t do school run so either a friend grabs dc or you tell school he won’t be in due to you not being able to leave house

He’s right, he should go to work, but he should drop your DS at school first then go into work. Then during the day you manage as best you can with tv, sofa and set up a safe space for baby so you can leave him for a couple of minutes if needed. Hopefully you’ll be a bit better by afternoon pick up.

That's unpaid leave not parental leave and whilst entitled to it, the expectation is you use it to arrange alternative care... Parental leave is as I described.

It’s called time off for dependents and it’s for short term emergencies, no notice needed, your employer just doesn’t have to pay you for the time and you can’t have known about it in advance

Parental leave has to be booked in advance and taken in blocks of a week or more.

It would be unpaid leave as he’d be taking time off to care for his child.

I just don’t know what the days going up look like for me!

I would imagine it’ll be pretty rubbish-we have all been there, ill and trying to look after a baby-keep your expectations very low and try to doze when the baby does. Good luck

You have to give several weeks notice for parental leave and it has to be taken in blocks. It can't just be used for ad-hoc days off at the last minute.

It wouldn’t add to his sickness record as he isn’t ill, it would be parental leave which you have a certain number of days entitled to (sometimes unpaid)

It doesn’t have to be that he’s being mean, I would imagine he’s worried he’s going to trigger absence protocols which can mean a disciplinary/capability. If he’s UPS, many heads would love any reason to try to get rid of you!

I’d ring the school and ask if the child can go to breakfast club. If not, say you’re ill and you can’t get them in today.

@TumbleLeaf10 keep DS at home and have a duvet day.

I think id just keep the child home too, it's awful but it doesn't sound like he can get the day off unfortunately.

Unfortunately, most schools are incredibly inflexible and can actually be very hostile places to work in. It's one of the reasons for the retention crisis in teaching.

I can well understand the feeling that he can't take the day off. Those suggesting that he goes in late - the school are likely to refuse.

I would just keep your child home. Do what’s easiest for you.

It's crap but unfortunately teaching is not a family friendly job and he can't just take a day off. If there is wrap around provision then can he drop DS into breakfast club and collect from after-school club? If not then I would be messaging the parents in the class to ask for a favour. As for the baby you just muddle through unfortunately in the same way you would if you were both unwell. It won't be a good day but it is doable.

If you are desperate keep your child off school? I know schools are very strict on this but what else can you do if you've no options? Puke up in the playground?