Is DH being mean or am I being precious?

Keep your DS5 home.
Hope your baby doesn't also catch the bug.

I am not a UK resident either. The mania on sick people being present in the UK workplace seems mad. My employer doesn't want sick people struggling into work and infecting countless others. If somebody comes in coughing and spluttering or with lingering gastroenteritis, we don't want them in the building. Their manager - from a safe distance - is likely to tell them to work from home if they must or to take sick leave. I understand it is more difficult with some jobs where it may be hard to get in a substitute at short notice or where it is a very small staff. We don't even care that much about a child missing school because they are sick - we don't think sick children are learning and are likely to infect the rest of the class. There is no overwhelming pressure about getting a 100% attendance or whatever. Our children don't start school till they are five and the idea of four year olds in a school setting is foreign to us.

This would fall under time off for care of dependents. YOU and his baby/child are legitimately dependents that he would reasonably be expected to provide care for. Its usually limited to a day or 2 to cover emergencies/arrange alternatives, after which it would need to be annual leave/parental leave/compassionate leave etc depending on the exact details.

He 100% is legally allowed to take the time off, however it does not have to be paid. This is NOT the same as sickness absence and should NOT be counted as such.

I really do wish more people were aware of their employment rights! Especially men, they often seem to believe this nonsense they can't possibly take time off to care for their children and that they'll be penalised.

It's literally illegal for them to do that and before everyone says that's what their company is like, and they have no choice etc. I call bull... what you allow is what will continue... more people need to stand up to bullying managers and employers who suggest anything else!

Im idealistic though I know.

I'm in Germany and if I'm sick I don't think twice about telling my work I can't come in. My team wish me well and tell me to take all the time I need to get better. If my child is sick the attitude is the same. It doesn't harm productivity and allows people to fully recover without infecting everyone else.
The UK urgently needs reform when it comes to workplace sickness policies.

Neither of you are BU, the attitude to sickness and absence in the UK is absolutely insane. What would they say if it was him vomiting? Totally nuts that people aren't allowed to be ill or support ill children without getting a warning. And it penalises parents, because we're the ones who catch everything our kids get.

It is better that your child misses a day's school rather than your husband endangers his job. Yes, I know it is grim. But he obviously doesn't feel safe to either be late or take the day off and I suspect he knows the school climate better than you do.

No guns but I’m sure op would press on if she could but it might be unsafe if she can’t look after a one year old properly.

I’ve had stomach bugs before when I have felt very faint and once actually did faint.

Op I hope you are feeling a bit better now but in these circumstances when my dh was travelling, I had to keep the kids off school and we all sat in one room together, baby in play pen if you have one. Bucket with an inch or two of water and Dettol in for you. Put kids tv on. Order some groceries in snack form to give them; pouches or something easy. And ride it out.

It’s hideous, I’m so sorry,

Make sure this is your catalyst to meet some some mum friends or organise emergency cover as it will happen again. You only need two friends with dc of similar age, who are reliable and will reciprocate in an emergency and not take advantage. Or get to know a young active grandmother type on your street who is up for earning extra cash.

He can’t take a day off for this. It’s hard for you but unfortunately you’ll have to do best you can. I feel your pain as a single parent with a serious health issue I spent many school runs vomiting in a bag (ex had helpfully moved overseas). If you were admitted to hospital or something he would have to stay off but agree with him on this. Hopefully vomiting will ease.

Christ alive, make it work ffs! I'm so done with posts being I'm ill with a baby, had a normal birth but need help (obviously not talking serious illnesses) Put baby on the floor until you stop D&Ving, retrieve baby and repeat. It's not the end of the world, it's tiring, that's all, life is tiring, better get used to it ... guns at the ready MN!!

The thing is that, he has umpteen people relying on his being there in school, whereas you and the baby, plus the school child, are just two or three at home, numbers wise. I know that sounds harsh, but, bottom line that's the way it is. You are just going to have to cope somehow, so I wish you hood luck.

This is when you should be realising you and DH need to get backup help.
If Plan A is you and you’re sick, and plan B is DH but he’s out of leave from work due to earlier sickness & injury, then it is plain to me you need a Plan C, D and E

In other words you need to hire

• a babysitter
• set up a parent network where you can watch each others kids in these kinds of circumstances
• have friends who can help in a pinch

Why I divorced mine - 6 month old son.

Absolutely bloody useless.

Life is better without them.

And better with a fling now and then too!

She's got a tummy bug. It's hardly an emergency!

Christ, there really is no resilience left in this world.

This isn't the case.

If parental leave isn't appropriate for some reason, he should be able to take compassionate leave, which may be unpaid, at short notice. But PP are right, teaching isn't a family friendly profession.

Teachers can't just show up late.

Hope you made it through the day @TumbleLeaf10

I remember one particular grim instance of having to pump for my tube feed baby in the midst of a sickness bug (I followed strict hygiene practices, under instruction of community nursing team). Also had a lively 3yo and poorly 5yo patient zero with me. DP was away. Was one of the roughest days I've ever had.

Can he not take unpaid or emergency leave to care for his child ? Family always comes first .

You and both DC have the day off. I work in a school and we only are allowed 3 absences for the whole year.

I think every school will differ that’s why there’s such broad comments on here as everyone’s experience is different…as a now retired teacher, honestly I never worked in any school where you’ll won’t be given hell for taking time off, an emergency or not. Sure maybe if your head is falling off in some serious terrible accident, then maybe you’ll actually get some sympathy and a morning off lol but generally teaching is the most inflexible job ever.
My husband always earnt so much more than when I was teaching, in fact his job has always been the more important one …but every time one of ours were to be ill, he took the day off instead of me. I just couldn’t go through the process and the aftermath of taking the day off.

i don’t know what the answer is to your situation is really. I always my in laws to fall back on and they were very good in an emergency, disaster whatever…but I agree not everyone has that. Tbh if you can’t get your kids to school, you can’t get them there. Have the duvet day

surely an absence for a workplace injury wouldn’t be counted as sick leave? if it was i’d be contacting the union.

Many schools aren't very in tune with actual employment law.

The problem is that it takes very little in some schools to trigger capability. It wouldn't even need to be related to absence. Once you're seen as a problem, you can very quickly find yourself on a support plan for something spurious. The teaching unions are overhelmed because of it and there's often not much you can do once it's set in motion other than negotiate an agreed reference when you leave.

There's a lot of fear in teaching at the moment because of it.

Many teachers accept breaches of employment law to ensure their continued employment.

Keep said child off school and do the bare minimum to survive. Im sure you'll be fine!

So what did you do @TumbleLeaf10

phone school to say dc won’t be in or asked another parent to take

I don’t understand this. My daughter is frequently telling me about teachers who are off for a variety of reasons. It doesn’t seem to be impossible for teachers to have time off, even at short notice.

If a teacher has a sick child, they can take time off to look after them.

Oh course he shouldn’t take time off, yes ypu are taking the pee.