To not want baby near unvaccinated toddler?

We all know we can't control everything about the environment around us, but as a parent it's our job to protect our children as well as we can with the knowledge we have. The OP is not being overprotective. Refusing to take her child into public spaces in case there are unvaccinated children would be over the top. Knowingly exposing her baby to an unvaccinated child is not overprotective and would at best be irresponsible.

It's very easy to be scathing of vaccines when you don't live with the effects of the diseases they prevent.

@victoriaspomge I had measles at age 4. I have had to spend my life dealing with the after effects so I can speak with experience when I tell you that you are doing the right thing. We're all allowed an opinion on anything of course but on this one I've recently unilaterally decided that my own pretty horrible personal experience means mine carries more weight than someone who once Googled something or read it on Facebook. It's just not worth the risk.

Great analogy @WelshRabBite

I know 100% there are drunk drivers and other dangerous drivers on the road every single day, yet I still drive myself, I still allow my DC to drive and I still walk across roads etc.

What I don’t do is get in a car with a drunk driver/dangerous driver, nor do my DC.

Yes, OP may unknowingly come into contact with other unvaccinated DC during day-to-day life, but that’s very different to inviting an unvaccinated child into your home, specifically to meet the baby when measles is on the rise because of unvaccinated people.

All parents take risk and they mitigate risk, but in the same way I wouldn’t put my DC in a car with a drunk driver, I wouldn’t knowingly open my baby up to the risk of death completely unnecessarily by hosting a play date with a potential measles carrier.

Unless you’re keeping your baby at home for the next year or so how will you possibly know if everyone they come into contact with is vaccinated or not?

Personally I think YABU, you sound really snobby and sneery towards your partners family.

Unknown dangers are everywhere, as previously mentioned, but you can mitigate risk by avoiding known dangers.

And what's wrong with making a point anyway? (not that I'm suggesting OP is doing that) Anti-vaxxers are a dangerous menace.

Anti vaxxers are always going to come on here and make stuff up - its complete crap. Some of the eradicated conditions from years ago were horrific and we are so fortunate theyre not around any more.

No, I would not let my gorgeous newborn near an unvaccinated child until they've had their vaccinations at a year old. Full stop.

Can posters please stop with the Whataboutery!

It's all about dealing with known risks. It's the same with covid. Why would you knowingly put a baby at risk when you know the risks are higher?

Depends, are you not allowing this out of genuine concern or because you want to prove a point? I was an unvaccinated child (I've since been vaccinated as an adult and both my children are vaccinated). You and your baby will likely to come in to contact with other unvaccinated children or even adults, you just won't be aware of it. What about for example if your baby goes to nursery before they are vaccinated and then come in to contact with an adult there who is unvaccinated?

Also just to add, if there had been an outbreak in our area of the country at the time, I would have put my foot down regardless

Neither would I, but in this case the OP knows the toddler is unvaccinated. It's all about risk assessment, and she has assessed the risks and doesn't want to put her baby at risk. That's all.

It just means that the toddler will have to wait until after the baby has been vaccinated.

Have you heard the term "incubation period"? If not you should look it up.

I had the same issue except that the unvaccinated children were my partner’s nieces so very close family. I took advice from a number of doctors and midwives who were quite relaxed about it (which surprised me) and suggested that it should be fine as long as we make sure the unvaccinated children are well and no sniffles etc when they visit. I felt I had to allow it on that basis given the relationship. No way would I agree to such a distant person that I didn’t even know!

You don’t know the vaccination status of every person you come into contact with, you just happen to know about this one.

Imagine if people from 100 years ago, who had watched children suffering and dying from measles learned that the disease became eradicated here due to modern vaccines, only to have a resurgence because of some refusing to actually take the bloody thing or give it to their children!
They'd be aghast at the sheer, jaw dropping stupidity.

Keep these morons away from your baby, OP.

You don't even understand what the vaccine sheds

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1386653224000581

It's not a live virus, it's the measles RNA. Not a live virus

This. Yanbu at all, obviously cannot know if any random you may meet is vaccinated but fair precaution to say those you know aren’t don’t come near the baby

Flu went through my kids' school and the unvaccinated children were all extremely unwell with many hospitalised. Over half my DS' class were off. My vaccinated children were fine.

You can be formula fed and have great ‘natural immunity’ too. My 70 year old brother was a ‘Cow & Gate baby’ - he looks 20 years younger and has never ailed a day in his life.

Eh? You think that because it is impossible to avoid unknown dangers, people shouldn't bother keeping their newborns away from known dangers?
Really?

You don't fuck about with measles. Very infectious and can be deadly.

My children are much older now but when they were babies I wouldn't have had a clue about the vaccination status of all the other children they met. Is it a new thing to be asking this? I'm really surprised you would know this about multiple children.

Are you in the UK? It wasn't even something that was asked about at nursery as I remember a conversation with an Australian friend who was surprised by that

Yanbu.
It would be a no from me too.

show him this thread, you’re not in the wrong here. I would absolutely refuse this.

Pretty sure my aunt lost a lot of hearing due to measles.