Page 4 | To not want baby near unvaccinated toddler?

victoriaspomge · 2026-02-09T21:53:09+00:00

So basically my partner wants his half brother's (same dad) younger half brother (same mum) to come and meet our baby. He has a daughter who is 2 years old who he says is our kids cousin. My partner is no relation to him or his daughter biologically but because they share a half brother he feels as if it's his brother as well and that they are family. He dosent really know him and doesn't have his number and has only met him in the last 10 years. They only hang out if it's with their mutual half brother. I know the 'brother' is very anti vax and has not got his 2 year old vaccinated despite living in a city where it has had a lot of cases of measles. Baby is too young to be have the MMR and I am extremely worried about my baby meeting this 2 year old. AIBU to feel like this?

MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend · 10/02/2026 13:21

I wouldn't allow it.

I felt completely bamboozled reading the first sentence :). It felt like an IQ test and I was failing miserably!

TaraC25 · 10/02/2026 13:21

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Don't put words in my mouth. People are capable of thinking and still choosing to follow. You've made an insinuation on my meaning.
I meant follower in the sense of that generally a majority vote wins.

The reality is that there is risk in any decision.
There is a PP whose child was injured by the vaccine itself; there are people here that have had measles, there are people that have not.

The madness comes in when certain posters say things like Anti-Vaxxers should be in prison. It is such a close-minded viewpoint and I will stand by my belief that absolutely no-one in the UK should lose the right to choose what they put in their, or their childrens, bodies.

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 13:20

randomchap · 10/02/2026 13:18

and you're far more likely to have it if you're unvaccinated.

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Nobody is denying that But if you are vaccinated and get it you can still bloody spread it. It's was a reply to post saying vaccinated people can't spread it

randomchap · 10/02/2026 13:18

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 13:12

If you have measles then you can spread it whether or not you are vaccinated

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and you're far more likely to have it if you're unvaccinated.

NeverSeenThatColourBlue · 10/02/2026 13:17

TaraC25 · 10/02/2026 12:10

A friends daughter went blind because she caught her eye on a coat hook at school - really really unfortunate freak accident. Just to make the point that unfortunate luck can happen to anyone; vaccinated or not.

The fact any human can think a government should have rights over another human beings body, is utterly insane.

I meet people in theirs 90s that decline the flu vaccine every year. Not everyone is a follower. Should they go to prison too?

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You might not have been privy to the next steps but there will have been an investigation into how this happened and the safety of the coat pegs. It's very likely that changes were made and the risk assessment would have certainly been updated.

If multiple children were injuring themselves on coat pegs across the UK, causing lifelong disabilities and in some cases, death, H & S would mandate schools to stop using coat pegs and find safer alternatives.

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 13:12

Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/02/2026 13:09

Vaccinated people don't tend to spread the virus. Unvaccinated people do spread the virus.

You are contagious before symptoms show.
So, you spread it before knowing you are ill.
It is like this with viruses.
Unvaccinated people should not be around other people's babies.

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If you have measles then you can spread it whether or not you are vaccinated

Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/02/2026 13:09

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 11:52

I had measles as a 5 year old. It left me partially deaf. What was stopping me spreading it to my younger brothers before the rash comes out. You just dont know who might be carrying anything

However people canmot spread a virus they DO NOT HAVE. Its as simple as that. Whether vaccinated or not if you dobt actually have something then you cant spread it

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Vaccinated people don't tend to spread the virus. Unvaccinated people do spread the virus.

You are contagious before symptoms show.
So, you spread it before knowing you are ill.
It is like this with viruses.
Unvaccinated people should not be around other people's babies.

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 13:08

ContentedAlpaca · 10/02/2026 13:06

It's it mainly measles that you're worried about. Are you concerned about whooping cough too?

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Thought mums these days had whooping cough vaccine during pregnancy to protect the babies

randomchap · 10/02/2026 13:08

MrsPicklesToBe · 10/02/2026 13:06

This is ridiculous some people need to seriously get a grip!! Does the toddler have measles or a deadly disease or leprosy ?!! No!! It’s fine to see the baby! Non vaccinated kids aren’t poisonous monsters 🙈

As mentioned multiple times by many different posters. An unvaccinated child is more likely to have a harmful disease.

Measles can be transmitted 4 days before the rash shows.

OP is making the safer choice.

ContentedAlpaca · 10/02/2026 13:06

QuickPeachPoet · 09/02/2026 23:35

YANBU
I am not precious about colds, dirt and similar stuff that other MN squark over.
But anti vax need to know their place. Far away from me.

It's it mainly measles that you're worried about. Are you concerned about whooping cough too?

MrsPicklesToBe · 10/02/2026 13:06

This is ridiculous some people need to seriously get a grip!! Does the toddler have measles or a deadly disease or leprosy ?!! No!! It’s fine to see the baby! Non vaccinated kids aren’t poisonous monsters 🙈

randomchap · 10/02/2026 13:04

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Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 13:02

over50andfab · 10/02/2026 13:00

Comparing a freak accident to a perfectly avoidable illness is bonkers, as is the choice that people in their 90s make compared to vaccinating children.

i’m wondering at what point you took your current stance on vaccinations and if it was during the Covid pandemic.

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Measles isn't always avoidable though. I didn't avoid it

over50andfab · 10/02/2026 13:00

TaraC25 · 10/02/2026 12:10

A friends daughter went blind because she caught her eye on a coat hook at school - really really unfortunate freak accident. Just to make the point that unfortunate luck can happen to anyone; vaccinated or not.

The fact any human can think a government should have rights over another human beings body, is utterly insane.

I meet people in theirs 90s that decline the flu vaccine every year. Not everyone is a follower. Should they go to prison too?

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Comparing a freak accident to a perfectly avoidable illness is bonkers, as is the choice that people in their 90s make compared to vaccinating children.

i’m wondering at what point you took your current stance on vaccinations and if it was during the Covid pandemic.

MonsteraDeliciosa · 10/02/2026 12:53

TaraC25 · 10/02/2026 12:48

Which is why risk assessment is important.

OP could compromise and meet this family outdoors, in a park or large open space, the baby can be snuggled in a sling or pram to prevent the toddler holding the baby... But a very rigid NO, regardless of the baby's dads thoughts on the matter, is a bit unfair.

No-one is saying she has to invite this toddler into the home, have photos of it snuggled on the sofa holding the baby and that they have to share a sippy cup.

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No, a rigid NO is not unfair.
People stupid enough not to vaccinate their children don't do subtlety, and are unlikely to help you minimise the risk to your own children.

Engaging in risky and antisocial behaviour has consequences.

TaraC25 · 10/02/2026 12:48

APatternGrammar · 10/02/2026 12:32

You manage the risks you can manage. Unmanageable risks are by definition unmanageable. Passing someone in a supermarket queue is not the same as inviting a known risk into your home.

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Which is why risk assessment is important.

OP could compromise and meet this family outdoors, in a park or large open space, the baby can be snuggled in a sling or pram to prevent the toddler holding the baby... But a very rigid NO, regardless of the baby's dads thoughts on the matter, is a bit unfair.

No-one is saying she has to invite this toddler into the home, have photos of it snuggled on the sofa holding the baby and that they have to share a sippy cup.

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 12:44

APatternGrammar · 10/02/2026 12:29

If you think it’s the same risk, you don’t understand risk at all. There’s already enough information on this thread to gain a better understanding, if you want to.

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At the end of the day you cannot control the general public. So unless you never go near other people you have risk of catching something. Many people take babies to groups.Thedefore all the other babies there are also unvaccinated.

TaraC25 · 10/02/2026 12:43

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I don't see how it's bullying?

It's purely a majority and minority thing.. If you're offended by me referring to an unvaccinated 90 year old and a non-follower, then okay.

MrsHemswoth · 10/02/2026 12:41

I think you are totally reasonable to be worried about this… honestly, it beggars belief that some people choose not to vax their kids 🤦‍♀️

PevenseygirlQQ · 10/02/2026 12:40

You are well within your rights to refuse for your newborn to meet any unvaccinated child.
Anti-Vaxxers can tell you all they like, it doesn’t really matter what they spout.

Just like they don’t want to vaccinate their kids, you don’t want your child to meet the toddler and thats that!

randomchap · 10/02/2026 12:37

Aluna · 10/02/2026 12:33

That’s so helpful I don’t have kids and I’ve never read any measles data.

My eldest had measles despite the MMR.

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You don't have kids but your eldest got it?

What?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/02/2026 12:35

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/02/2026 12:11

So what’s wrong with being judgemental about people who are stupid and easily influenced by idiots on the internet, to get their young children vaccinated?

Anyone with any sense would be equally judgemental, when it comes to the health of their own baby too young to be vaccinated.

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TOO stupid, that should have read!

Aluna · 10/02/2026 12:33

randomchap · 10/02/2026 11:24

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/national-measles-guidelines/measles-factsheet

A person with measles can spread the infection in the 4 days before they get the rash until 4 days after they develop their rash.

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That’s so helpful I don’t have kids and I’ve never read any measles data.

My eldest had measles despite the MMR.

APatternGrammar · 10/02/2026 12:32

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 11:17

Hope but not know. And you dont take baby to supermarkets, school runs doctors surgery etc? What when you are queuing for their first lot of jabs at 2 months. How do you know every other child and sibling there has been vaccinated

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You manage the risks you can manage. Unmanageable risks are by definition unmanageable. Passing someone in a supermarket queue is not the same as inviting a known risk into your home.

APatternGrammar · 10/02/2026 12:29

Thechaseison71 · 10/02/2026 11:23

I did read the thread thanks. But unless you stay in the house and go nowhere ubtil baby is 13 months then its the same risk. It only works for first children anyway as a vaccinated child can still pick up measles at school and bring home And an unvaccinted toddler who doesnt have measles is no higher risk that one that is vaccinated and doesnt have measles

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If you think it’s the same risk, you don’t understand risk at all. There’s already enough information on this thread to gain a better understanding, if you want to.