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AIBU?

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This thread includes replies from NHSVaccineNurses, in partnership with NHS

Original poster

To not want baby near unvaccinated toddler?

258 replies

victoriaspomge · 09/02/2026 21:53

So basically my partner wants his half brother's (same dad) younger half brother (same mum) to come and meet our baby.
He has a daughter who is 2 years old who he says is our kids cousin.

My partner is no relation to him or his daughter biologically but because they share a half brother he feels as if it's his brother as well and that they are family.

He dosent really know him and doesn't have his number and has only met him in the last 10 years.

They only hang out if it's with their mutual half brother.

I know the 'brother' is very anti vax and has not got his 2 year old vaccinated despite living in a city where it has had a lot of cases of measles.

Baby is too young to be have the MMR and I am extremely worried about my baby meeting this 2 year old.

AIBU to feel like this?

FunnyOrca · 09/02/2026 22:15

Refuse to meet and say why. Anti-vaxxers need to face consequences. Social exclusion is a consequence of refusing to support herd immunity.

Eviangeica · 09/02/2026 22:11

I’m not going to comment on the family dynamics but there’s no way in hell when mine were babies would they be near unvaccinated children until mine had the vaccines. This is a hill I would happily die on.

GreenJellyBeans · 09/02/2026 22:07

You are unreasonable to define who counts as your partners family - that is for him to decide. Every family is different.

You’re not unreasonable to say they have to wait until your baby has been vaccinated.

SleafordSods · 09/02/2026 22:07

Get him to google just how horrific measles can be.

JustGiveMeReason · 09/02/2026 22:06

YABU to judge whether your partner considers this man to be his brother or not. Families are very different. Families are about the relationships you have with one another more than the lines on a family tree diagram.

However

YANBU to not want the child of people who have chosen not to vaccinate their child near your baby who is too young to have had the vaccine.
Yes, I am aware you could unknowingly be near someone you didn't know this about, but in this case you do so YANBU.

Seems a bit odd you know this about him though, as you are at pains to point out your partner doesn't really have a relationship with him.

Original poster
victoriaspomge · 09/02/2026 22:03

Yes thank you.

Its all to please his biological half brother and I find it really strange myself.

I am really concerned as now the UK has just lost its measles elimination certificate.

I will be putting my foot down, but he makes me feel I am being to precious and over protective.

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 09/02/2026 21:58

Absolutely not unreasonable.
A random kid who is known not to be vaccinated (when it sounds like you will opt for vaccinations) shouldn't be near your tiny baby. Your child will inevitably meet unvaccinated kids in the future naturally but will at least have some form of protection by then themselves.

Even if the child was vaccinated... I find this a rather strange scenario. Like your husband doesn't even talk this man.("half half brother guy"

MummytoE · 09/02/2026 21:58

No you are not being unreasonable at all. Parents need to realise there are consequences to not getting their children vaccinated, and in this case it's not meeting the baby.