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AIBU?

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This thread includes replies from NHSVaccineNurses, in partnership with NHS

Original poster

To not want baby near unvaccinated toddler?

258 replies

victoriaspomge · 09/02/2026 21:53

So basically my partner wants his half brother's (same dad) younger half brother (same mum) to come and meet our baby.
He has a daughter who is 2 years old who he says is our kids cousin.

My partner is no relation to him or his daughter biologically but because they share a half brother he feels as if it's his brother as well and that they are family.

He dosent really know him and doesn't have his number and has only met him in the last 10 years.

They only hang out if it's with their mutual half brother.

I know the 'brother' is very anti vax and has not got his 2 year old vaccinated despite living in a city where it has had a lot of cases of measles.

Baby is too young to be have the MMR and I am extremely worried about my baby meeting this 2 year old.

AIBU to feel like this?

Lllma · 09/02/2026 23:46

Yanbu keep your precious baby away from them and tell them why.

JustGiveMeReason · 09/02/2026 23:43

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 23:34

That was my point.
There's clearly an assumption that this toddler is THE SINGLE ONLY unvaccinated toddler in the UK.

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We're not assuming that at all.

Clearly, you won't be able to avoid all contact with other children, in passing, but the OP would be very wise to avoid spending time with someone they know has actively decided not to have their child vaccinated.
Statistically it is more likely that a 2 year old has been mixing with more children, than other small babies.
There is nothing to be gained in spending time with this child, but the decision the parents have chosen to take is something that is putting so many people at risk so I personally wouldn't choose to spend time with people like that anyway - in the same way I wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with racists or misogynists, or homophobes. Our views on important issues would just be too far apart.

nocoolnamesleft · 09/02/2026 23:41

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 23:38

Apologies, I'd missed the bit that the baby was still young. But I do still think keeping them away from a relative seems OTT.

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Tell me that you're lucky enough never to have met a child dying of the complications of measles without saying you've never met a child dying of the complications of measles. I have, and it was heartbreaking.

Marcipix · 09/02/2026 23:41

No way. Measles can kill a baby.

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 23:38

nocoolnamesleft · 09/02/2026 23:13

You're being ridiculous. The whole point is that the baby is too young to be fully vaccinated, hence not wanting exposure to an older child who is old enough to be vaccinated but negligently has not been.

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Apologies, I'd missed the bit that the baby was still young. But I do still think keeping them away from a relative seems OTT.

QuickPeachPoet · 09/02/2026 23:35

YANBU
I am not precious about colds, dirt and similar stuff that other MN squark over.
But anti vax need to know their place. Far away from me.

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 23:34

Soontobe60 · 09/02/2026 23:32

Assuming you’re in the UK, are you going to keep your baby at home until they get their vaccine at 1 yr old? No park, no baby sensory, no play dates with other mums?

That was my point.
There's clearly an assumption that this toddler is THE SINGLE ONLY unvaccinated toddler in the UK.

Soontobe60 · 09/02/2026 23:32

Assuming you’re in the UK, are you going to keep your baby at home until they get their vaccine at 1 yr old? No park, no baby sensory, no play dates with other mums?

freakingscared · 09/02/2026 23:25

Look just because the toddler in unvaccinated doesn’t mean it can pass on a something he doesn’t have . So if the kid is heathy what’s the issue ? I’m assuming your baby will never go to play area or a play group or the supermarket or on holiday in a plane or similar?

nocoolnamesleft · 09/02/2026 23:13

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 22:59

IMO You're being ridiculous.

If you're confident that vaccines work to protect your baby, then surely your baby wouldn't catch anything anyway? Being vaccinated doesn't stop people (or babies/toddlers/children) from spreading and passing viruses.

The toddler could still be breastfed for all you know and have amazing natural immunity!

You're being ridiculous. The whole point is that the baby is too young to be fully vaccinated, hence not wanting exposure to an older child who is old enough to be vaccinated but negligently has not been.

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 23:09

SleafordSods · 09/02/2026 23:04

The baby in question is too young for the vaccines so your post doesn’t make much sense.

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So is OP intending to avoid all other babies and toddlers then?

Because this toddler certainly won't be the only unvaccinated child they come into contact with. And I'd say as long as the toddler isn't kissing the baby all over the mouth, it's not a risk to it anymore than any other relatives are?

RampantIvy · 09/02/2026 23:08

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 22:59

IMO You're being ridiculous.

If you're confident that vaccines work to protect your baby, then surely your baby wouldn't catch anything anyway? Being vaccinated doesn't stop people (or babies/toddlers/children) from spreading and passing viruses.

The toddler could still be breastfed for all you know and have amazing natural immunity!

The baby hasn't had the MMR yet, so the OP isn't being ridiculous.

SleafordSods · 09/02/2026 23:04

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 22:59

IMO You're being ridiculous.

If you're confident that vaccines work to protect your baby, then surely your baby wouldn't catch anything anyway? Being vaccinated doesn't stop people (or babies/toddlers/children) from spreading and passing viruses.

The toddler could still be breastfed for all you know and have amazing natural immunity!

The baby in question is too young for the vaccines so your post doesn’t make much sense.

TaraC25 · 09/02/2026 22:59

IMO You're being ridiculous.

If you're confident that vaccines work to protect your baby, then surely your baby wouldn't catch anything anyway? Being vaccinated doesn't stop people (or babies/toddlers/children) from spreading and passing viruses.

The toddler could still be breastfed for all you know and have amazing natural immunity!

BudgetBuster · 09/02/2026 22:53

victoriaspomge · 09/02/2026 22:47

Yes my partner has met the 2 year old a few times and bought her a Xmas present.

So my partner has a younger brother who share the same dad.

This man is my partner's half brother's little brother who share the same mum.

So not really technically a step brother as their parents have never been in a relationship, their only connection is a mutual half brother and half sister.

They met each other for the first time about 10 years ago.

OK got ya on the family tree. I think it's quite nice they have somewhat of a relationship.

And I understand them wanting to introduce their respective kids. But absolutely not an unvaccinated child.

The 2yr old parents are going to have to get used to this kind of reaction

fashionqueen0123 · 09/02/2026 22:48

I wouldn’t. What if the kid has measles!

Original poster
victoriaspomge · 09/02/2026 22:47

Yes my partner has met the 2 year old a few times and bought her a Xmas present.

So my partner has a younger brother who share the same dad.

This man is my partner's half brother's little brother who share the same mum.

So not really technically a step brother as their parents have never been in a relationship, their only connection is a mutual half brother and half sister.

They met each other for the first time about 10 years ago.

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 09/02/2026 22:46

No absolutely not. Measles can and does kill
You don't even know these people and they are not related. Why are they so keen to meet yoir baby?
You need to put your foot down firmly with your DP!!

BudgetBuster · 09/02/2026 22:39

victoriaspomge · 09/02/2026 22:33

I just explaining the dynamics and story, I mean I have never met this other brother and we have been together 10 years.

I have just heard about him from my partner and seen photos of him and his 2 year old on What's App.

It does really bother me and I feel as if my concerns are just brushed off.

Has your partner ever met this 2 year old?

Is this man technically his stepbrother (just came into eachothers lives in adulthood so they don't have much contact) or are their respective parents no longer together?

Original poster
victoriaspomge · 09/02/2026 22:33

I just explaining the dynamics and story, I mean I have never met this other brother and we have been together 10 years.

I have just heard about him from my partner and seen photos of him and his 2 year old on What's App.

It does really bother me and I feel as if my concerns are just brushed off.

OP posts:
xOlive · 09/02/2026 22:25

I’d confidently say “no” with a straight face and wouldn’t budge.
I’ve got absolutely zero time for anti-vaxxers anyway but when there’s a newborn involved?
Fuck no.

The rest is irrelevant.

Gustavo1 · 09/02/2026 22:21

There’s no way this toddler would be near my baby. Your partner can think whatever he wants about being overprotective. That’s literally your job. Once your baby is vaccinated, then they can meet. Not sooner, no matter what.
What’s the risk? Your babies life is the risk!

Namenamchange · 09/02/2026 22:21

Yanbu, but you sound very judgemental and superior, maybe leave all that out and stick to the vaccinated part. However you are setting a precedent which you should then stick too

ScarlettSarah · 09/02/2026 22:20

The family relationship, whatever it is, is irrelevant. You just make yourself sound petty telling DH who he can consider 'family'.

You're not being unreasonable at all to refuse to let your baby round an unvaccinated toddler though. Related or unrelated.

NotThatSerious · 09/02/2026 22:17

This is the most ridiculous thing I have read