AIBU to ask for advice on what to do about a lady in our community.

I am an awful cynical person, but I’d be wondering why she’s contacting a gardening charity for this kind of support. Could be that she isn’t genuine and that the more relevant charities in your area are on to her.

Sorry but this does sound quite like scammers in our area. They post on a local group with a story . Someone will go to the supermarket. They can’t ever drive or walk anywhere. They never live in the same area. Always need it delivering. Have never contacted the food banks etc as a first port of call would rather post on Facebook etc. I mean why is she calling a garden group?

Then a week later you see people saying they’ve been scammed.

This lady may not be but it just sounds a bit off..like with the dog too. But I guess she may be real. So to be safe signpost her. You’re not her social worker. Or the food bank volunteer. Call adult social services if you are genuinely worried.

Can you just say to her that what she is asking is beyond the scope of your charity, and send her the number of the CAB national helpline to call? I wouldnt get into picking up her food parcel as then it will be an expectation.

Does she have a Learning Difficulty or a Learning Disability???? one will likely make her a lot more vulnerable than the other.

It sounds like she may have care and support needs, if she consents, contact your Local Authorities, Adult Social Care help desk, with her ideally, and take advice from them.

When I worked for a food bank, we used to deliver to people who couldn't collect. Can you ask the food bank if this is an option.

If you really can't cope with this extra responsibility then you need to create some boundaries not just with her but with the many organisations that try to palm responsibility off onto any soft-hearted member of the public. You have to tell everyone, including her, 'I have a lot on my plate right now and I can't be responsible for this, long term.'

Just a tip regarding food parcels - local mosques often have a ‘drop off’ service and will happily provide hot meals and drop them to your door (sometimes depending on your area).

I know churches might do the same thing too but I just mentioned mosques because the majority of them will do it without any fuss. Might be worth giving them a call so they can keep her going somewhat until her finances are sorted.

Ive been in a similar situation and this is what I did!

Why didn’t you walk up to the woman and check to see if it was her?

If she had been in hospital for more than 28 days her PIP would stop but restart immediately if she reported being discharged. I'm a benefits caseworker. Many good suggestions on here, my main advice would be provide information for services such as the church charities but not to do more than you already have.

You have been very kind and trusting, but be a little skeptical. Some people are very good with the sob story and drawing people in. You’re already putting yourself out for her, and you don’t really know her. I don’t necessarily think she’s a scammer, but someone who relies on the good nature of others.

Are you on Facebook or NextDoor? Can you put up a post for details of local support groups and organisations for people in her situation.

I agree with others, she’s not your responsibility. Give her the numbers of support groups that can help her.

OP, you sound lovely but remember the saying "Put your own seat belt on before helping your fellow traveller".

Don't tell her you're away on holiday. Just be vague about your time out.

You owe it to yourself to take the best care of your own health.

I would just like to say that this does happen, it doesn't mean she's a scammer making things up. PIP is stopped after (I think) 28 days. Which is not uncommon for an inpatient stay on a mental health ward.

CAB can help her over the phone, if there is not a local hub that she can go to, in person.

Just tell her you can’t help any more and send her the phone numbers of where she can access help. It’s harsh but this will end up being your problem if you don’t nip it in the bud. She may be genuinely in need but you aren’t someone who can help this woman

Tricky. She may be genuinely in need and unable for MH reasons to take care of herself. But that doesn't mean you can become her case worker. I would give her some numbers to ring including charities and CAB and say you can't do more than that.

Her GP surgery may have a social prescriber or care co-ordinator who can assess and direct her to appropriate sources of support. Agree re protecting your own personal boundaries.

I think it’s safer not to give any firm timelines or she’ll be back in touch with the OP as soon as she’s home. Just say “travel” and give the impression that it’s ongoing and regular!

You’ve basically been paying her costs of owning a large animal

So how was she managing for money before you, I’m sorry but she sounds like she’s taking advantage and is a scammer.
have you suggested social services to her?

Text her the number of the food banks and tell her you are going on vacation for two weeks

I'd second trying a church. The Sally Army tend to be quite community-minded if they are active where you are.

What a headache this sounds for you.

Put the dog walking thing out of your head. Maybe she only has energy for those couple of thousand steps a day and she gives them all to her lovely dog. In which case she is doing her best.

Thank you helping this woman

You don't need a local Citizens Advice. They have a national helpline. Also one run with Trussel Trust foodbanks called Help Through Hardship if you Google you'll get the numbers.

There are charities all over the country who help with exactly this sort of thing. What area are you OP? Job centre will have details of who can help or your local council.

I think I’d pick up the food box that’s been arranged and when you drop it off, tell her that you have travel coming up ( don’t say it’s a holiday, it could be for work and don’t give a time frame ) so she needs to contact official support going forward.

Otherwise you’re going to get sucked in and realistically, you can’t sort this out for her, she needs to contact people who can.

Our local church does debt advice and financial advice.

tell her that you can’t help and she needs to contact some official support.