Having a cleaner but no job

Most clubs dont add up to the cost of a cleaner, though. Cleaners are usually £15-22 per hour depending on the area.

So say £18 x 3 hours per week/6 hrs per fortnight, that's £56 per week. What kids club costs £56 per week? There maybe are some, somewhere, but the most I've spent was £20 a week on horseriding lessons. Still a long way off £56 though.

My kids current clubs range from literally £1 up to £12.

Not specifically about the cleaner vs clubs conundrum but .... OP and her husband need to have a long serious look at their finances. 5 clubs a week would be fine if they are things like afterschool football run for, say, 45 minutes, and fairly cheaply at school. However, if you are thinking that "stopping a club" would be enough to pay for a cleaner they must be properly expensive clubs. This is ridiculous for 7 and 5 year olds and makes me think (coupled with the house that is too big for you) that you are living beyond your means. This is only going to get worse.

I also have 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and half a hectare. I don't work and we have a cleaner. If you can afford it, keep the cleaner but maybe learn how to clean more efficiently too.

If I had a 6000 square foot house plus an acre garden I would have ensured I could afford a housekeeper and a gardener, if I had to maintain that size house myself, or could only afford a cleaner once every two weeks by taking an activity away from my child, then I would think I had purchased a property that is beyond my means.

I don’t think you’re being lazy - looking after a 2 year old full time is basically a job.

But you can’t afford it if the way to pay for it is children dropping a clubs.

@Realisation14. Only 2 dc but yes I did, I also worked managing the apartment block which meant communal spaces cleaning, collecting rents (in person, different country) and associated paperwork, dealing with contractors, looking after gardens, plus 2 dc one autistic at home. Forget having a cleaner, I was a cleaner!

most sahp cannot afford cleaners, in fact most 2 working parents can’t either. It’s just a matter of organisation and scheduling, plus both of you pitching in.

Do you also have 3 children including 1 toddler with you at all times while you clean and manage the land?

Get the cleaner! 5 clubs for 5 and 7 year old is too much. You can cut down a bit.

Genuinely- WTF is a vibe check???

Do what you want. It's more time with your toddler if not cleaning which might be (probably is if you are very focussed on him) better than a club. If you do get a cleaner for a shorter time just have them do the bathrooms and kitchen so a proper job is done. I might ask for just the bathrooms with a couple of hours weekly. Will just help you to feel less overwhelmed.

Get a cleaner. Don’t be guilted into doing it yourself. Life is short.

OP do you like a very clean house? It might be you need in this phase to make sure perfect isn’t the enemy of good enough. Could you limit it to 30 mins a day and try to limit it to one cleaning task? And could your other half help with some of it? Eg changing bed sheets takes half the time with help (I feel like a male arm span also helps!).

If it’s exhausting you though and making you miserable my feeling would be you are still prioritising being a good mum by getting the help you need and cancelling 1 of 5 kids clubs. There are no prizes for exhaustion and if you’re happy your kids will be xxx

My dc have at points done 4 clubs a week just at school, they offer morning, lunch, & after school ones ranging from chess to cheerleading. It’s not a given that attending clubs = loads of time in the car & they are no longer than 45 mins.

I suspect the reason you cant manage all the cleaning is between having a toddler and spending hours running your older kids to various clubs you have no time. Honestly cut the clubs down a bit.

I work with kids although after school clubs can be beneficial that many is more likely doing more harm than good to all of you. Kids need downtime and a mum running around to 10 different activities whilst trying to manage a toddler just creates exhaustion. Its also very unfair on the toddler to spend loads of time sitting in a car. 5 clubs a week per child is not sustainable when you have 3 kids or fair on the child who gets dragged all over the place. If you dont cut down its going to be 15 clubs a week in 3 years time.

Get the cleaner if your struggling but cut down the clubs to.

Do you have a washing machine? I can’t believe people let people help them in the house by using a washing machine thst some one else made, good mothers use wash boards and mangles. Do you buy your bread, goodness how lazy , you should make your own. Do your parents sometimes help with your kids, you should refuse and do it all yourself.

My point is that we all have help in different ways, some less obvious than others. Some people might judge having a cleaner but so what if you can afford it and it makes you happier and gives you time and energy to focus on other things.
Enjoy your time with your children, in many other countries and in the past no-one would have thought twice about a woman with 3 young children having a cleaner.

You say you lost your job but not whether you are planning to get another one. If you are then definitely get a cleaner.

This is a good tip. But without hating on play pens (we used one), is sticking a kid in a playpen while you hoover really better than removing a club?

OP said they do loads, like 5 each, which I think does sound like quite a lot. I’d be inclined to reduce that a little, I think, and get some cleaning help. Might make for nicer weekends too if OP is not flat out

I’ve never had a cleaner sadly but when I looked a few years ago it was £20/hour. So a bit more than what you pay where you are. My son’s football is £20/month, Taekwando is £40, swim is £32… my daughter is a teenager and a serious dancer so dropping her dance classes would cover a cleaner but the primary ages clubs wouldn’t come anywhere near covering £200/month.

Inherently I think the OP has a ridiculously large home and should move somewhere sustainable. It seems so stressful already and kids only get more expensive as they get older.

I totally understand this view, but OP might be more present/fun with the little one if she’s doing a bit less cleaning, which could be nice for him.

If they do 5 clubs a week and are not that bothered about them all, then it’s obviously less harsh to remove one than if they do one much-loved club a week.

With all the clubs that’s a lot of driving and waiting… sounds like you’ve taken on a lot OP.

Cleaning a 6000 sq ft house sounds like a job in itself. Plus cleaning is sooo boring. Definitely get the cleaner.

I would definitely have a cleaner. MN can be odd about cleaners. Often viewed as an unnecessary luxury. The cost of a fortnightly cleaner would be less than going out for a standard chain restaurant dinner each week. No one would think that unreasonable. Ten clubs between two children? I’m sure you could drop one or even two and they wouldn’t notice.

At two mine would have climbed out of the playpen.

I find cleaning very boring, am not very good at getting started and would find that size of house overwhelming to keep in check.

Sorry, I don't have time to RTFT, so someone else may already have suggested this.....how about one of those robot vacuum cleaners to keep the floors in check?

I don't have one, but they get great reviews on here. Not sure about compatibility with a toddler, that's something you could ask about on another thread.

I’m struggling with my 2 bedroom terrace house with a 3 year old.

(I have been ill for a long time now and struggling with energy levels) I do work 2 nights a week also so not fully at home.

If we could afford a cleaner I would have one once a week to do the in depth cleaning. There is more to life than cleaning.