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Original poster

Having a cleaner but no job

221 replies

Mrspepperpotpot · 09/02/2026 21:10

A few months ago I lost my job, I’m actually really really enjoying being at home with my 2 year old. He isn’t in any childcare at the moment, we had a nanny prior to me losing my job. We also have a 5yo and a 7yo, obviously fulltime at school, they do a few clubs in the week but no wrap around.

Our house is very big. Nearly 6000sqft and an acre garden. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

We’ve never had a gardener, but we did have a cleaner once a fortnight for 6 hours when I was working. When I lost my job we let the cleaner go as I was going to be at home all the time.

The thing is im finding it really hard to keep on top of. I did a fair amount of cleaning even with the cleaner but I think I’m ALOT slower and my son now doesn’t nap so although he tags along with some of the cleaning he obviously gets bored after a while.

I’ve tried schedules etc and they do work but it just feels a lot.

We could afford a cleaner probably but would have to maybe stop a club or something to compromise

Am I being lazy? I’m at home literally all the time! I feel AWFUL that I’m getting overwhelmed with just some cleaning!’

OP posts:
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C8H10N4O2 · 11/02/2026 10:56

superchick · 11/02/2026 05:20

Its not about being lazy, its about the standards you set for yourself and your family and if you can reach them and what to cut back on if you need help to do so.

Personally my children's enrichment outside of school is a very high priority for me and I personally go without a lot so that they can do these things. But my kids are older than yours and they are doing things that will benefit them in the long term.

I'd rather dusty skirting boards and busy, happy, motivated kids but if having a show home is higher priority for you then maybe you can cut back on something.

Children can be enriched, happy and motivated in homes with a cleaner. Ditto without five nights a week of after school clubs.

I grew up poor, my motivation, happiness and enrichment came from my parents’ efforts and love.

minipie · 11/02/2026 10:26

superchick · 11/02/2026 05:20

Its not about being lazy, its about the standards you set for yourself and your family and if you can reach them and what to cut back on if you need help to do so.

Personally my children's enrichment outside of school is a very high priority for me and I personally go without a lot so that they can do these things. But my kids are older than yours and they are doing things that will benefit them in the long term.

I'd rather dusty skirting boards and busy, happy, motivated kids but if having a show home is higher priority for you then maybe you can cut back on something.

Did you mean to sound so superior??

SixtySomething · 11/02/2026 10:15

Mrspepperpotpot · 10/02/2026 20:10

House is a bit like this with no annex https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/162168038

Very open plan

it’s interesting to see the views, yes we should live somewhere smaller, it’s not quite as easy to just sell it. We might even make a loss with today’s market

it’s a financial struggle to live here but here we are.

So, you've shown us a house in one of the very cheapest parts of the country to live.
What do you estimate your house is worth?
It is relevant because this is essentially a financial discussion.

FlyingApple · 11/02/2026 07:33

LucyLoo1972 · 10/02/2026 22:46

do you have kids?

Show quote history

Yes

superchick · 11/02/2026 05:20

Its not about being lazy, its about the standards you set for yourself and your family and if you can reach them and what to cut back on if you need help to do so.

Personally my children's enrichment outside of school is a very high priority for me and I personally go without a lot so that they can do these things. But my kids are older than yours and they are doing things that will benefit them in the long term.

I'd rather dusty skirting boards and busy, happy, motivated kids but if having a show home is higher priority for you then maybe you can cut back on something.

Saltnchilli · 11/02/2026 05:04

When my children were primary school age I had a cleaner even though I didn’t work. A big house is a lot to keep and if it stops you feeling so overwhelmed I’d say do it, but try to cut something back of yours or DH instead of the children.
Now my children are older, I have more time (even though I work very part time) and I’m not running them here or there, I do the cleaning myself.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 11/02/2026 04:24

If your DH is so insistent on living in such a vast house then it should be for him to fund the cleaner.

A house that is around 5 to 6 times the average is probably a full time job in itself to keep clean.

blueshoes · 11/02/2026 01:31

ObviouslyNamechangedforcleaner · 10/02/2026 22:24

Oh god - do just get a cleaner. Just thinking of mopping those floors makes me feel faint.

I am thinking of the upkeep of the grounds as well.

suburberphobe · 11/02/2026 00:27

Our house is very big. Nearly 6000sqft and an acre garden. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

LOL. I would hate to live in a place that big and have to clean it!!
Reminds me of Downton Abbey...

Give me my apartment any day.

Changename12 · 11/02/2026 00:18

OP, while I know you said it was very open plan but could you just shut the door on some rooms and not use them?

Coffeeandbooks88 · 11/02/2026 00:10

Why not downsize than struggle because you want a big house?

Catladywithacat · 10/02/2026 23:59

You aren’t lazy, If you can afford it get a cleaner

LucyLoo1972 · 10/02/2026 23:25

mullers1977 · 10/02/2026 23:14

Oh that’s awful, people do have a block when it comes to cleaners, I often do chores alongside mine, they are paid well and so it’s a win win

Show quote history

he is a hoarder so a big barrier was that unless he dealt with that issue it would be very hard for a cleaner to do their job in our house. but the hoarding in itself was a factor breaking me too - so overwhelming

mullers1977 · 10/02/2026 23:14

LucyLoo1972 · 10/02/2026 22:47

me too. my husband refused point blank for us to have a cleaner and we were rolling in money - no problem to pay at all as we both worked more than full-time in intensely stressful land demanding jobs. I ended up having a psychotic break form all the stress I was under

Show quote history

Oh that’s awful, people do have a block when it comes to cleaners, I often do chores alongside mine, they are paid well and so it’s a win win

LucyLoo1972 · 10/02/2026 22:47

mullers1977 · 10/02/2026 20:12

Miss a club get a cleaner x take kids swimming rambling biking instead x I’d do anything rather than clean x

Show quote history

me too. my husband refused point blank for us to have a cleaner and we were rolling in money - no problem to pay at all as we both worked more than full-time in intensely stressful land demanding jobs. I ended up having a psychotic break form all the stress I was under

LucyLoo1972 · 10/02/2026 22:46

FlyingApple · 10/02/2026 07:33

I also have 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and half a hectare. I don't work and we have a cleaner. If you can afford it, keep the cleaner but maybe learn how to clean more efficiently too.

do you have kids?

ObviouslyNamechangedforcleaner · 10/02/2026 22:24

Oh god - do just get a cleaner. Just thinking of mopping those floors makes me feel faint.

mullers1977 · 10/02/2026 20:12

Mrspepperpotpot · 10/02/2026 20:10

House is a bit like this with no annex https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/162168038

Very open plan

it’s interesting to see the views, yes we should live somewhere smaller, it’s not quite as easy to just sell it. We might even make a loss with today’s market

it’s a financial struggle to live here but here we are.

Miss a club get a cleaner x take kids swimming rambling biking instead x I’d do anything rather than clean x

Original poster
Mrspepperpotpot · 10/02/2026 20:10

House is a bit like this with no annex https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/162168038

Very open plan

it’s interesting to see the views, yes we should live somewhere smaller, it’s not quite as easy to just sell it. We might even make a loss with today’s market

it’s a financial struggle to live here but here we are.

Check out this 5 bedroom detached house for sale on Rightmove

5 bedroom detached house for sale in Mill Lane, Skegness, Lincolnshire, PE25 1HW, PE25 for £1,200,000. Marketed by HomeMove Estate Agents LTD, Covering East Midlands

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/162168038

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 10/02/2026 15:49

I’d much rather do my job than clean.

RosesAndHellebores · 10/02/2026 14:41

The cost of 6000 sq foot houses varies. I looked them up closest to me and they are at the £3.5m to £4m mark. About half have a staff flat.

I agree with the fur coat and no knickers comment. That was one of my gran's.

C8H10N4O2 · 10/02/2026 14:03

AmusedMember · 10/02/2026 08:26

Sorry, but this is lazy!

One child at home and you can't keep on top of the cleaning?!

I had 3 under 4 at one point and managed to work, clean and everything in between. Manage your time better!

Do you have any idea how much care a 6000 sq ft house needs?

I had 4 under 5 and worked and paid a cleaner for a house a fraction of the size. That is not because I’m lazy its because I’m not a self appointed martyr to housework. Now I have what most would describe as a fairly large family house but it is still not a lot more than half the size of the OP’s. My DC are grown, I still have a cleaner.

The OP needs to cut the clubs, reduce bathroom usage to 2, consider a robot vacuum but also to get a regular cleaner and probably help with the garden.

They also need a serious discussion about DH’s “dream house” - either they need more income or they need a more manageable house. Fur coat houses are all well and good but you need to be able to afford the knickers.

Xmasbaby11 · 10/02/2026 10:23

I'd get a cleaner - don't hesitate. Big houses are so much work. Ours is nowhere near as big, a large 4bed with 2 bathrooms, and it is a lot of work. It's never all clean at the same time. You have 3 dc, even if 2 are at school, it's not like they don't live there!

Would cutting one club really pay for it, though? My kids are in a few clubs and they are all around £30 a month, which is less than a week's pay for a 2-hour clean.You might find it easier looking at food bills.

sunnysunshinebear · 10/02/2026 10:14

Get a cleaner life’s too short (I hate cleaning and don’t live in a massive house but have 3 DC!) 🎉

JacknDiane · 10/02/2026 10:11

TapsOff · 10/02/2026 08:03

Just out of curiosity, what do you do with your days?

Show quote history

Enjoys them i bet

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