4 year old never gets award

Ah I remember feeling like this when my DS was in reception also.
he always came out on a Friday x got star of the week and he was always happy for his friends but I could tell he wanted one so bad. I did feel for him and he tried so hard to get one.
I've found year 1 and 2 a lot better in terms of celebrating his wins.

Thankfully my daughter's school has stopped this nonsense such as "Star of the week" and assigning groups of kids pegs. There are "house points" but they're not an individual thing. The kids can bring in whatever they've done / accomplished in the previous week to their teacher and the head will call them up in assembly. My daughter told me someone was called up because they said they kept their head underwater at swimming so it doesn't even have to be anything particularly special.

In seven years, my DD’s primary school never gave her the coveted “headteacher award”. Some primary schools don’t rotate awards so if it’s precious to you, mention it to the teacher again.

My dd is now aiming for all grades 8s and 9s in her 11 GCSE’s, she is a lovely, funny, gregarious and generally caring girl who doesn’t have a single good thing to say about her old primary school headteacher.

I remember this when my DDs were young. They always got overlooked for these awards and would be so hopeful/ disappointed every week. I honestly think they would be better off scrapping these pointless awards - they do more harm than good.

keep in mind that they often reward children who are in desperate need of encouragement…..sitting still on the carpet for 2 minutes is the equivalent achievement for one child as writing and illustrating a detailed story is for another, yet the first type of achievement is often more likely to be noticed and rewarded. It’s not ok though, I’d definitely say something! It shouldn’t necessarily be on rotation but they ALL deserve to be noticed, and should all get a turn. Some kids notice/care more than others. One of my children is very motivated by certificates etc, the other couldn’t give two hoots!

Wait til you have to attend the annual awards assembly every year and see the same kids get all the (proper annual) awards. My DD finally got hers in Y13 (most improved in history - I’d say as she went on to achieve 196/200 on her A level History, and she was predicted a B!; and best EPQ). That’s a very long wait! My son got one award in Y7. Only one in his whole school career.

But I’m sure your child will get awarded at some point. It was ‘Star of the Week’ at our school in reception and everyone got it at some point.

You probably need to get used this. My fifteen year old is predicted eight As in his exams this year but he's never been recognised with an award or reward at school. He just keep his head down and does his work but isn't a teachers pet either. The school has an annual reward trip and he's never been invited.

My ds who's 11 has never had an award either.

Some kids just coast along unrecognised unfortunately. We do out best to give them a boost at home and let them know how proud we are of them.

Has anyone actually ever done a study on whether awarding shit behaviour (as what is being said here - that x managed not to hit someone) has a positive effect. Both on the kid and also on the actual good kids?

That's dreadful OP, your poor daughter. YANBU. In KS1, and CERTAINLY at 4 years old, this should be done on a scheduled rota. It almost doesn't matter what any particular child has or hasn't done that week, every child gets it once before anyone is considered for it again.

If you're a class teacher and you can't think of anything each individual child has done that week to praise them for then you're doing it wrong.

If you are deliberately excluding a child and publicly rewarding others ahead of them in this way, and to this extent, I think it should be a disciplinary offence.

Ugh! This reminded me off dd in Year 6. She kept getting missed out for star of the week, awards for good behaviour, kindness etc. she was a really good kid, never in trouble, got on with her work, helped others. It’s still the same in high school. She’s given up and I’m not surprised she’s not motivated. Teachers need to take account for this. My dd in Year 9 looked after animals for the school in a teacher’s absence, she was there before school, during breaks and occasionally went in at the weekends, she never got recognition for it 😡

Agree. I would definitely email/talk to teacher. I have no problem being That Parent, particularly when the child in question is so tiny.

Thank god they didn't exist when my kids were little, another thing for parents and kids to stress about.

I admit after reading on here about how they are used to stop the kids behaving badly, I did smile to myself at a fb post about how little Ellie-May ( not real name) was doing so well, top of the class with star of the week numerous times, when I know E-M is a totally rude, aggressive kid. ( parents the same ilk)

This. Get a grip

Yep, as a teacher I keep a class list with six columns, one for each half term. We give out two awards a week per class. Every time I give one out I highlight their name in the column for whatever half term we are in. That way I can very easily and visually keep track of who has had them and how often, so I can make sure they all get a relatively equal amount. There will be some children who only get one or two a year whereas others get three or four, because as much as I do like all pupils to be celebrated, some have earned it more than others. Next week is Feb half term which marks the halfway point of a school year, so by now all children should’ve had at least one. Up to you whether you raise it with her teacher or not though, as if you do and she suddenly gets an award next week, you know she’s only got it because the teacher felt like she had to. But then your daughter wouldn’t know that and she’d be pleased, so maybe go for it.

Why do you think it’s not on rotation just because you've had a word before Christmas? There is still plenty of time for your child to get the awards. You say that she’s quite cheeky, but what does that mean in reality? If the teachers are constantly having to remind her to be kind and make more effort with her work, then she will be the last to get the rewards related to those things.

It's probably an oversight, I'd mention it to the teacher.

Is your DD actually bothered though? You don't mention her. It's very much all about you in the OP.

Both my children got ZERO awards for about 6 years. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think I'd have a gentle word with the teacher. At 4 years old, I'd kind of expect it to be a semi-automated process with a spreadsheet to make sure no one is left out, and of course recognising real effort, but you know, they're 4. Inclusion would be my priority, but that might just be naive on my part as I'm not a teacher.
So I'd want to know (if I was absolutely sure that every other child has won at least once, and some had won three times for categories such as 'perseverance' which are rather subjective) why my child had yet to "win".
You're not being unreasonable to gently advocate for your little one. At 4 they're still so tiny and they need our voices.

@DesperateDad80 at my DS’s school these awards were to help manage behaviour, so they generally went to kids who struggled to behave. My DS was 10 before he finally got an award at assembly. He was well aware it took so long because he didn’t need it to encourage good behaviour.

It’s been 2 and a bit terms

if after Easter still nothing then mention to teacher

sure there are others who haven’t got yet

same with star of the week. All kids will get in by end of year

I sorry, I clicked that you were being unreasonable but I didn't mean to. I think with this many awards on the go, and with this age group, they should be making everyone gets one before people end up with two or three 😞

YANBU

IME the teachers have a list and mark off who has had an award. So there is a combination of children getting it for something positive... but also tempered by making sure everyone gets one. To a certain extent this means some children get it as soon as they have done something good (because it might be ages before that happens again) while other children could technically be picked any week.

With 3 awards a week out of 30, it seems unfair that DD has not had anything yet.