AIBU to think this is an inappropriate relationship?

She founds great, and it’s lovely for him to have a good relationship with her. 👍

It sounds to me that from the outset she has made sure that he feels included and part of the family. Not an outsider, especially with the new baby. She hasn’t been insular and only wanted it to be them three she’s see it as us 4.

I think it’s really important for family integration for step parents to have 121 time with step children especially if they’re involved from youngish. So they have an actual relationship not just two people existing in the same house.

she isn’t his parent but she is an important adult in his life and part of his family unit. It’s a good thing that the person who married his other parent loves and cares about him.

You are being very unreasonable. Don't you think it's good that his Stepmother loves him? Do you think she should ignore him or be cold towards him?
I read so many posts where step children are not accepted, the relationship between your son and his Stepmother sounds lovely.
Are you jealous?

Kids need more people who love and care for them, not less!! My children have a lovely bond with my partner he loves them and they love him, we get on really well with the boys dad and it’s a pleasure to see them having good relationships.

She is related to your son. She’s his sisters mum, he is part of her family and I think it’s lovely they get on well and she makes time to do something nice with him and they have a lovely relationship. Shows your ex chose well. There’s nothing inappropriate about it, except your reaction. families come in all shapes and sizes, be happy your son is happy, because surely that’s the goal? A happy settled child?….its not about you it’s about your child.

This is either a reverse or rage bait.

It sounds to me that they have a lovely relationship, especially as she now has a child of her own and hasn't pushed your son out in any way. I think its great that her parents treat your son as one of the family, would you rather he felt neglected by them in favour of their biological grandchild? By all accounts he is a lucky and much loved little lad.

I agree with others. It sounds like a lovely relationship to me.

His stepmother has been in his life for 6 years. He probably can’t remember a time when she wasn’t.

If a stepmum must be had, may all stepmums be like this one 🙏 the more people who love, care for and cherish our babies, the better imo.

My only question is has dad pushed off parenting his child onto the woman? He should be having a relationship with his child. But other than that, the more adults that love your child and give them time and attention the better.

And here it is, folks. Stepparents officially Can Not Win.

OP, your DS has extra adults in his life whom he loves, and who love him.

Why do you have a problem with this?

You're jealous.

Surely you would want as many people loving your son as possible.

She clearly treats him amazingly well.

She is his step-mum, not his mum but she is treating him like a son when they have him. Would you prefer her to ignore him and only care about her own DC, that would be horrible and mean. She has obviously grown very fond of him over the years and he of her, it would be very odd if they hadn't formed some sort of bond, and involving her family in his life is a bonus I would think, assuming they are all nice people.

I understand it is hard seeing your DS bonding with another woman, but the alternative would be very hard on him. You are still his mum and you love each other in a different way.

This sounds wonderful for all. Wish my children had anyone.other than me who loved them so much and.cared for them. What a lovely relationship. Hope you can soon see it that way.

I think you should be thankful they have a good relationship and she loves your son. The alternative would be far worse

I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a unanimous vote/thread in favour of the step mum 😂

You’re so incredibly unreasonable it is baffling that you cannot see that yourself.

YABU. Everything you've described is a normal step parent/child relationship. Sounds a lot like my relationship with my DSD. It's definitely not inappropriate.

I can see why this would be hurtful for you.

But she is not unreasonable and neither is your son. It sounds like she’s a nice lady and they have a lovely bond, and to take this away from him due to jealousy would be really unfair to him.

Many people would be overjoyed that their child had such a nurturing and loving step parent. Surely your child would be upset to have this taken away from him due to your own insecurity with it?

The only bad thing I take from this post is that you don’t have your son at the weekends ever. How do you create memories and enjoy experiences with him on school days!?

This reads like a reverse.

Nobody is that obtuse.

My DS has called her his best friend since he was 3 and he still does it now. He has loads of friends at school but still says this about her.

Can't see the problem with this. It shows they have a really close relationship but that he doesn't think of her as a mum.

When she was pregnant she wouldn’t let anyone visit her daughter until my son had visited.

Er... of course?? 'Her daughter' is HIS SISTER. It's totally appropriate that he should be the first person to meet her.

He goes to drama club every Thursday and he will only let her take him. He says it’s their special thing, it’s so weird for them to have a special thing she’s not his parent.

Oh, grow up. Of course they can have a 'special thing'. She isn't his parent but she is his family.

He will sit and cuddle her.

She's been his family since he was a toddler. This is normal.

He says he loves her and she loves him. So weird in my opinion.

Totally normal and absolutely lovely.

He says she’s his family, she isn’t she just married his dad.

You and your son are a family. Your son, his dad, his stepmum and his sister are also a family. Get over yourself.

She has always read him a book before bed. He says she’s the best reader. Why doesn’t his dad do this, why is this woman putting my son to bed?

She's not 'this woman', she's his stepmum and the mother of his sister. Of course she can read him a story.

He calls her parents nana and grandad and spends a lot of time with him. They take him places like play area and indoor play. They’re not his grandparents. Why is dad allowing this?

Oh, honestly, get the fuck over yourself. Why the fuck WOULDN'T you want your son to have nice people in his life who make a fuss of him and make sure he isn't left out?

This has GOT to be a reverse, surely. You cannot possibly be as bitter and selfish as this. Any decent mum would be delighted to know their son was as loved and included at his dad's house as he was at hers.

My brother married a woman with two kids and they then went on to have more children together. Of course my brother read his stepchildren a bedtime story, put them to bed and cuddled them. They were small children. Was he supposed to cuddle his biological kids and read them a bedtime story and then just ignore his stepkids? His stepkids call my parents Nanny and Grandad to this day - and they're now in their late 20s/early 30s and my brother is divorced from their mum! They call me and my sister their aunties. That doesn't mean we're in any way replacing their biological relatives - we're not. But we were invited to their weddings etc just as their biological grandparents and aunts/uncles were, and their biological family are lovely and completely unthreatened by that. In fact, both their biological grandmothers have told me, separately and unprompted, that they really love the way the two kids were/are part of our family.

What a lucky boy having such a loving relationship. Nothing wrong with that ist.

Another one from the series - things that never happened. 😵‍💫

What a lucky wee boy. I can imagine how hurt you are at this, I would be jealous as well.
Be thankful her and her family are not like the step-monster people on this site.
Extra people that love and care for your boy can only be good thing, surely!

At 9 he might say this just to wind you up.
The more love he experiences the better, and yes that includes from unrelated extra grand parents.