AIBU to think this is an inappropriate relationship?

I’d be so glad if someone would take any of my children off my hands Thursday-Sunday ideally their dad and a step mum who loves them like this. YABU

Yabu and bitter. Your son is such a lucky boy to have a stepmum who loves him.

1. Why can't he call her his best friend? Thats lovely he feels that way about her.
2. It's normal to want a childs siblings to be the first to meet them. She clearly values and prioritises your child's role in her child's life.
3. Why can't they have a special thing? She's his stepparent not a stranger
4. And?
5. That's not a bad thing, more love a child can get in this world the better
6. She is his family, shes his stepmum. You may not like it, but that's what she is.
7. Why can't she read him to sleep? Very normal thing for someone to do. It's fine for him to prefer her to do it rather than Dad.
8. How fantastic her parents have accepted him as part of their family.

Would you rather she treated him with contempt? That she and her family excluded him and showed clear favouritism towards her own child? That she does nothing for him nor show him any care because shes not her kid? That your son is made to feel less-than because he's not "family" to her. Honestly OP behave, you are thinking about your feelings not your child's best interests.

Surely at his age he has no say over going on holiday with you.

I strongly suspect this is a reverse. Or a thought experiment.

If my child was spending every weekend with someone, I’d rather that be someone who loved him and he loves in return.

she sounds like an angel, honestly.

Many people would be overjoyed that their child had such a nurturing and loving step parent.

Absolutely!

Be thankful OP.

It’s nice she has this relationship with him. My step grandparents both treated me as a granddaughter which was nice of them. In fact I’m or was their only granddaughter. My own step mum when she married my dad even offered me and DB to live with them full time when older and even when they divorced I kept a good relationship with my step mum.

Is there a huge back story here or is this a reverse?

I understand why this hurts you but she sounds amazing. Shes his sisters mum, shes made space for him in their home.

I mean i do think his dad should do stories, but for me thats more his dad could do more and no reflection on her. She isnt suggesting he call her mum shes just making sure he has a home and a good relationship with his sister and that her family treats him like her daughter.

Your son is so lucky to have her as extended family. And youre lucky too. Shes an asset to you even if it hurts a bit.

It sounds like your son has a lovely stepmum and a wonderful relationship with her and his sister. He'll certainly need a decent female role model if you're going to continue to act so possessive and jealous over him.

If I had met a man who had a three year old, how could you not "mother" them they are little darlings. She came into his life when he was very young and I would be so grateful my ex chose a warm kind woman to be stepmother. It would sting though of course.

He has lots of extra people who love him! This is a great thing surely! Especially that it is his stepmom’s family who are treating him like family. There are so many stories here of step families who don’t want to include a step child because they aren’t blood and it’s terribly sad. This is something to be celebrated if it makes your child feel secure and loved. i get it’s uncomfortable for you but surely he comes above everything else.

I think you should count yourself lucky and stop moaning she sounds like she has an amazing bond with your son and has his best interests at heart.

She sounds like a brilliant step mother and very similar to my ‘step’ dad (I think of him as my dad).

How wonderful that she’s in your son’s life. Imagine how awful it would be if she didn’t care and made your son feel ‘less than’ (like my step mother did).

It’s not inappropriate. You’re just jealous.

Sounds like a perfectly normal stepmum / stepchild relationship to me.

This is so sad to read. As a Mum you shouldn’t have to feel like this and I can understand how hurtful it must feel. Sadly it’s just something you’re going to have to carry, because she isn’t really doing anything wrong. It is right that your son got to meet his sibling before anyone outside the family did. It would be worse if she was horrible and your son was still stuck with her.

She sounds lovely, like she cares for your son, is trying to build a specific relationship with him that is not a 'mum' relationship so as not to step on your toes, and is trying make sure he doesn't have a negative reaction to a new baby.

If there's an issue it's that his relationship with his dad seems to missing.

If after SIX YEARS you're still this jealous, it would be very beneficial to seek some form of therapy.

You said yourself that she is lovely.
She couldn't help but 'fall in love' with the little boy he was when she met him , she is treating him as her own and what's more it sounds like her own family does too.
There is nothing you can do about the fact that they have a naturally mutual happy relationship, be grateful it could have been entirely different.
Ps i think its truly lovely how he was the first to meet his little sister , what a thoughtful woman.

Nothing here sounds inappropriate, OP.

Surely the reaction of most people would be delight and relief that your son was happy, secure and loved in the home in which he spends half the week, rather than than feeling unwanted, othered, and as if he is worth less than the new family his father has created? It’s his feelings that matter here, not yours.

This has to be a joke, she sounds excellent.

I think the "best friend" thing probably comes from her telling him that she is not his Mum - cos that's you OP - what she is not, rather than emphasising the friendship particularly. She likely told him gently once that she is not his Mum but will be his friend (a good step-parent role). You and your DS have got lucky with her, compared to the alternative. How lovely for him to have safe, caring, stable adults in his life - it could have been so different. Be glad for him.

Reverse's are so boring. No idea why people go to the bother of them.