Fucking fed up with dd being picky.

A friend of the family only liked marmite and thought he would eat other things marmite featured heavily in it. He’s an adult and less fussy now.

Ham sandwiches are great, protein and carb, of you can get a few pieces of fruit in she'll live on that grand for a bit. I loved for a fair while on eggs, bread, bananas and kiwi fruit as a child. I eat everything now.

My 4 yr old it's ham sandwiches, scrambled eggs, most fruit, fishcakes, mashed potatoes, some chips. That's literally it. She ate a couple bites of her brothers cheese sandwich today I nearly did a cartwheel.

At the risk of sounding like one of The Four Yorkshiremen, when my three sons were small we were so poor that there was absolutely no choice but to eat whatever I cooked. Eat, or go hungry...next stop is breakfast.
I have recipes for Stick and Stone Stew, Surprise Meat Pie and my personal favourite Roadkill.
Grinding poverty seemed to preemptively prevent pickiness. Try that.

She's a neurodivergent 7 year old. Stop pushing her to eat things she doesn't want to. She's probably got sensory aversion to most food and she can't control that. You CAN help her to widen her range but not by having a tantrum, that will make it so much worse.

Knowing how old she is would help. If she's old enough to do her own meals, I'd tell her to crack on and do it.

If she's still too young - make her the simplest possible separate meals.

Foods that are predictable are often easier too - like ham sandwiches - which usually taste the same! My DD didn't like complicated or mixed up food but does like quite strong tasting food, not bland. Umami type flavours have been a breakthrough - she likes soy sauce/garlic/ginger/chilli but would not eat something like a roast dinner (too many textures and wet and soggy) or cottage pie. A recent revelation was that she never touched things like ketchup as she doesn't like hot and cold food together. But hot curry sauce with chips was a winner! Did not expect that.
See if she can articulate what kind of thing she likes.

I hate MN for things like this, the incredulous ‘why are you using cookbooks?’ I want to answer ‘to get ideas and try to improve her diet you blathering idiots what do you think?’

My DD only ate chilli con carne and homemade pizza for a while; she is a bit better now. She eats everything at nursery!

It's stressful and upsetting to have a child that won't (can't) eat.
If your child is ND you need to reframe this as it's not really her choosing this. She's obviously very anxious around food.
My DD (ASD) was also a restricted eater - not as severe as yours, but my advice would be to basically feed her what she will eat - plus multivitamins - and get calories in her any way.
The food chaining is a good way to build confidence and reduce fear of food. Seek help from your GP if you are worried - a pediatrician or nutritionist may be helpful.
Fwiw - my picky eater got much better as she got older. Is still quite rule oriented with food (certain foods at certain times) but is much more willing to try new foods.

Mine is the same. I have ended up getting a load of min budget food so I always have a load of options in the house. Options that I am prepared to make or that I can freeze

Oh I see the poster called it food chaining .

Op there are many wonderful threads on eating tips there was one very recently with wonderful idea.

Main off the top of my head , if possible get her to help make food as much as possible to get her uses to touching and seeing different food even if she doesn't eat

Have her safe food eg the ham sandwich but eat with her and have lots of little tapas style snacks eg some cocktail sausages or chicken satay in a little dish , tom ketchip in another , small bowl grapes or apples and some squirty.cream

Don't push or offer just really enjoy it yourself !

Keep expanding on what she likes so ham and bread always keeping the safe food put some ham on a pancake or mini croque Monsieur...

She likes grapes make a mini kebab with grapes and maybe some water nelso

Make the food small and very visually appealing.

Never ever force do small amounts that don't cost much and you can eat if she doesn't.

Unless you've had a truly restricted water, it's hard to understand.
The frustration, the worry, the hope, the time spent making or finding something new, buying ingredients the hope this is the meal that will change it and zilch.
My dd is younger but very similar and loosing weight as she is so restricted in eating. It's hard. I don't have answers.
I'm currently trying food chaining and she always sits with us for dinner but is allowed to serve herself and one item is always 'safe'.

First World daughter. She'll eat it when she's hungry enough.

I am not ashamed to say that 35 years ago, my son wouldn’t eat anything.

In complete desperation, I dyed mashed potato Thomas the Tank Engine blue.

He ate it. I dyed everything I could, TTTE blue. It wasn’t my finest moment but he’s a strapping 6 footer who eats everything now.

I feel your pain and frustration.

I agree with this. Mine don't like the same things as each other so everyone just gets / eats food that they like.

I do encourage trying new things but they like what they like for now

I was a picky eater as a child and as an adult I've found I enjoy a lot of the things I didn't enjoy as a child

I think your stressed response will be counterproductive. Let her have control and mealtimes and ensure they are a relaxed time.

What food did yours eat?

Same. He eats some fruit and Weetabix for fibre alongside the five or so meals, I give him vitamins, and I'll wait for him to grow out of it. I don't care what he eats as long as it's something.

I absolutely agree with this 👍

Yes, I agree , I was extremely picky and can remember having food shoved literally into my mouth which I can tell you is definitely not conducive with good eating.
I was talking to my eldest daughter only today about the fact that she was a very picky eater and that eventually into her teens she improved and now will eat almost anything. The one thing she did say was that she felt I never forced her to eat anything, I was quite relaxed and just gave her food I knew she would eat alongside new foods. In her own time she learned that food is in fact delicious and fun, she is a really good cook now too.

I have nothing but sympathy for you. The picky eaters in my house have made my life measurably worse for over two decades. I'm so done with it. It has genuinely made my stress levels, enjoyment of food and my health worse. All we ever hear about are the poor dear picky eaters with no recognition of how hard they make life for everyone else.

I have appreciated this space for my rage rant. Solidarity!