To ask if you are a mum to an only male dc… (particularly interested in when the male dc is an adult)

MIL sees more of DH since I’ve been on the scene, particularly since we had DC. We’re not close but we can get along well enough and I wanted my DC to have relationships with both sets of grandparents.

Welp. This thread just made me really sad.

I also have a DS, he's 9 and my best mate. I hate the idea that one day we might not be.
My in laws really includes me to basically be one of their kids, I get treated the same and even see them on my own without DH. I hope that whatever DS choses for the future, he'll let me be a part of it and his family include me.

My children are very young, but my husband is one of three boys. Two of the three of them are very close to their mum, one not so much. I do think a lot of that is just who he is as a person though, a bit standoffish generally and not prone to engaging in much fun in life, so he’s very work focussed, meaning all personal relationships are largely unimportant to him.
The other two, they’re more personable generally. I think they’d probably be closer still to MIL were she not slightly overbearing in terms of treating them a little as her baby boys still. Nonetheless their relationship is close and they enjoy each others company… they just don’t tell her everything!

I have two adult sons. Close to them both in different ways. We chat face to face once a week, and on Whatsapp texts several times a week. DS2 lives less than an hour away, so I see him more often - we go for dinner or drinks together and he sometimes comes for a night at home to relax.

DS1 lives abroad but comes home to visit twice a year and stays with us.

I have two adult sons. One still lives here so yes we are close.
my other son is married with a child. I like to think we’re still close, we have a family WhatsApp that we talk on most days, I never not get a response. I do think her mum is favoured more, her mum is first choice in any situation from childcare to advice to anything really but tbh I expect that, she’s super close to her mum as it’s always been just the two of them.
my mum passed away when I was very young, I never had daughters so really I don’t know what thats like, although I was fairly close to my mil.

I do try and be the really super good grandma and mil though. I realise they both work all week, full time. I know they don’t really want to give up their time or weekends to come here/us go there, have Sunday meals etc. whilst they live locally, that’s not their priority, and I understand that, they want time as a family together. Sometimes I suggest popping round just for 30 mins on a Sunday afternoon once in a blue moon but they’re always busy (or maybe they don’t us round 🙃) They always come for an event etc though say it’s someone’s birthday. But they never want to give much time or weekends for anything really.

some days and weeks I do get a bit sad about it, I have my granddaughter once a week whilst they work, I do wonder if I’ll see them all when she’s at school.on the other hand, I raised my son to be a good husband and dad , so it’s right he’s putting all that before us. Plus I don’t want to be like her mum who seems to be continually pushing herself on them…I don’t want to be the horrendous mil that everyone speaks about on here…I speak when I spoken to, I don’t expect an immediate reply on any message, in fact I don’t expect anything at all. I’m grateful to see them when I do. I’m super careful in what I say and what my actions are. I don’t offer many opinions, only if I’m asked really. I’m super positive about everything

tbh though you’ll never know until the time comes. You’ll never know the relationships you’ll have with your adult children. I’m lucky, I’ve been married a long time. My husband and I like each other…and I make no jokes about that …my mil and FIL really didn’t like each other…they hated spending time together, tbh I think if they didn’t have grandchildren at the time of the life that they did, I think they may have gone their separate ways years ago….my husband and I only have each other really now at this time of life…but we’re happy to be together, to go out for coffee, weekends of doing want we want, shopping, restaurants etc…going travelling. Sure sometimes I think I’d like to see my son more but it’s important that I’m happy in my life too.

at the end of the day, when your children are adults, if you’re married, you only reallly have each other. It’s true about the saying that kids true up, have families of their own, parents die, friends move away…it really is just the two of you.

i don’t know whether it would have been different with girls. I desperately wanted a third baby but we couldn’t afford it and I didn’t want one just for it to a girl or just because I had boys. I really wanted that 3rd baby regardless. To this day it’s still my biggest regret in life so I’d say if you want another child and you can afford it, have one if it’s right for you, not necessarily because you’ve just got boys

I have adult sons who are now in their own homes, they all wanted to stay close as a family so their homes are all within 30 minutes of each other. My sons are also close to each other. I get on great with their partners who include me in lots of activities they do, including breaks away and nights out.
I know that I’m very lucky.

I hate the phrase ‘mummy’s boy’ there doesn’t seem to be a girl’s equivalent. Also ‘cutting the apron strings’ only seems to apply to boys. A girl can be as close to their mum as they want, no one bats an eyelid if they see or talk to them daily, but god forbid a son does that.

I have 2 married DSs. Both very different people but I’d say we are close albeit not swapping secrets. I love both of their wives and try to be super respectful about not interfering or offering unwanted opinions.

DS 1 is more touchy than his wife, I’m so glad we all get on and enjoy spending time together.

I had three sons. When the eldest was with his long term partner, I saw a lot of them. Her family lived much further away. The middle son also had a partner with a distant family, though I saw less of them. The youngest is the only one with DC and I have always seen more of them than their mother's family.
As I do not have a daughter, I cannot compare.

I regularly do things with my adult DS (not super exciting things; talking going for a walk, or out for coffee and cake). I'd consider that we are close.

I, however, have zero relationship with my mother.

I think closeness as an adult depends more on personalities and interests, then sex of child.

My husband loves his mum so much, always asks her on days out, meals, holidays etc.
He rings her everyday, she says that she thought because she had a boy she wouldn't hear from him, she jokes he never bloody leaves her alone.
It all depends on the people and relationships.
My mother is dead now but I saw her as little as possible, no mother, daughter relationship there.

I go to the cinema with mine - we share some taste in films. We book each other for pizza and movie nights, and are very close.

I have an adult son (and adult daughter).
I am close to both of them.
They both contact me often as I do them.
There is no difference in the relationship between me and ds compared with me and dd.
DS is married but still my son.

I have two sons aged 27 and 30. Very close to both but one lives nearer.
They both have long term partners now and like a pp I am very anxious not to overstep, I think mainly because of the hatred of MILs on MN.
DS1 visits every week or so for dinner and DS2 comes over for a weekend every couple of months. DS2 comes away on holiday with us sometimes and his partner goes away with her parents. We message frequently. They do seem to enjoy our company and both come away with us for a weekend during the summer, along with partners.
They both live with lovely women but as you would expect they are close to their mums and although I get on well with them both I don't feel close.I think it would be easier for me to chat with them if I had a daughter as I am so used to boys.

My own son is still young but my husband and his mum are very close (not in a mummy's boy way). They go out to the pub once a week and talk often. I hope to have the same relationship with my son.

I’m one of three. My sister moved half way across the world, I moved away and my brother would go over a few times a week for mummy’s bacon sandwich and tea in his special mug.

I guess I wanted a boy as I feel they’re always closer to their mums. I don’t know how many doors myself sister and I slammed on my mum.

I have an adult son. No serious gf at the moment and we do lives 200+ miles from each other but we are very close. Not living in each others pockets close but close.

Not exactly what you were asking for but I’m the wife of an only male child and I lovvvve mil, she’s always welcome and we all have such fun when she visits. My whole family (sisters parents nieces) love her too. I sure hope she feels she’s gained family rather than lost. She’s very popular with us! She treats my nieces a bit like they’re her own grandchildren and I’ve got a baby cooking that I hope she’ll get a lot of delight from :) She’s much kinder and more understanding to me than my own brusque mum haha.

I have an adult son and an adult daughter. In some ways I am closer to my son. Personalities matter more than what sex they are.

My son is only 17 so can’t comment on this yet, but I will say that my DH is very close to his elderly parents and sees them several times a week (they live just round the corner). He sees them socially for a cuppa and a catch up, but also pops round at short notice to help them out with stuff they’re struggling with (usually technology!) Not all sons (or daughters) are that devoted to their parents as adults, but DH likes his Mum and Dad- they have good relationships and they help each other out.

I talk to my adult son who lives in another city a lot on FaceTime. We have quite long conversations generally. And lots of texts. He has a girlfriend and is quite busy - gets home late, goes out a lot - but I don't think we've become any less close.

I’ve got two adult sons. One is married and the other is living with his girlfriend. I’d say we’re close but perhaps only speak once a week or so though we do have a family WhatsApp group which includes their wife and girlfriend and chats are on there most days. I accept they put their wife/girlfriend first which is as it should be.

I've three adult sons between 32 and 28. I'm close to all of them. We don't speak or message every day, none of us feel the need, but we get on really well.

I have a only adult son
We are very close
He bought his house with his partner about 10 mins drive from where I live

Before he met his partner a few years ago
as an adult we went on several fantastic holidays together Miami Vegas LA Mexico and it was lovely to spend time with him as an adult
and we always had holidays together from age 1 -17 with my sister and her family 😂

We took him and his partner on holiday with us last year and we all had a great time

his partner and his family are really lovely people

I do make the effort though see him probably once a week maybe but we chat most days on the phone even if it’s just for a few mins

I try to at least every 3 months or so get together for a meal out with them both

I don’t Interfere with his life but he knows I’m there if he needs any help with anything

my DH is his stepdad and he’s always exceptionally close to him to the fact that he had a key to my sons house ( I don’t )

I’ve got 2 adult sons who we’re very close to. Neither of them live near enough for us to pop in but we either speak or message every day.

DS2 and DDIL have our only grandchild, 2yo DGS, we did buy his pram. As soon as they announced she was expecting DH said “we’ll buy the pram…”I said “well we won’t step on DDIL’s parents’ toes” but they really weren’t bothered, tbh, but saying that we all get on really well. DS2 & DDIL FaceTime us everyday they’re not working so we get to see DGS. We’ve had him to stay for weekends, or we go there, so they can go away because her mum and dad do the majority of the childcare so it’s nice for them to have a break from it at times.

With DS1 it’s a bit more difficult because he’s in the army. If he’s away he contacts us as much as he can, but sometimes DDIL will let me know he’s fine but busy, because obviously if he’s got time for one phone call she comes first.

I’m not close to my mum, I’m much closer to MIL and will be devastated when she passes away. She’s been wonderful to me and our children.

My DDIL said to me once, she always wanted a daughter because she’s so close to her mum, but after seeing how close my sons are to me she wasn’t worried about having a boy and is overjoyed to be a boy mum.