Hi everyone,
I didn’t know where to post this, so I posted it in AIBU.
My husband and I have had our house since 2000. We were supposed to have paid it off years ago but my husband decided to remortgage it to buy a car years ago. We therefore still have 10 years left on the mortgage.
I was a stay at home mum for 8 or 9 years and then started working full time to help with the mortgage. I have been working consistently since then. My husband has had multiple jobs and lost multiple jobs, he’s been flaky and inconsistent, leaving me with no choice but to take on full responsibility of finances on multiple occasions while he was looking for jobs.
He’s currently been unemployed since October 2024.
He’s left the country twice to go live in his grandparents’ farm in his country of origin. (November 2019 to July 2020 and October 2024 to October 2025).
He left him a lump sum both times (the first one was only enough to renovate the kitchen, the second one was enough to turn the box room into a wardrobe, but not for any other living expenses) but no monthly payment, living my adult sons having to cover his part of the mortgage, grocery, and bills.
He is now talking about separation and divorce.
I asked that he puts the house entirely in my name, as I can’t see how I would be able to do this by myself financially for another x amount of years if I were to buy him out.
My reasoning is that he has his grandparents’ house in his home country and his mother’s house here in the UK that he and his brothers will eventually inherit. He also talks about wanting to move back to his home country.
He refuses my suggestion.
I am stuck and don’t know what to do.