Mother made a comment on new partner

Yes same here. If you're at a social occasion where you're going to be drinking, what are you supposed to do.. drink tea until the clock hits midday? It's a silly social convention. Drinking at ANY time of day is fine.. it's how much you drink, how regularly, and how it interferes with your life that's important.

If I want to have a shot of vodka every morning with my cornflakes, but never drink another drop all my life, nothing bad would come of it. In fact it's quite common to have coffee with whiskey with breakfast in European countries.

There's no rule.. it just depends on case by case, as to whether drinking is or isn't an issue.

Holy crap i must be an alcoholic as I had a glass of champagne with my breakfast with my husband on our wedding anniversary.

Good for you.

If my daughter was forging ahead with a relationship involving day drinking around the football with a man she'd be seeing for 6 months, and she was head over heels for this "explosive connection", my first question would be "where are your kids fitting in all this?". Will they be dumped with me on her weekends, while she goes to the football or starts drinking at 11am? What would happen to them when she gets home at 8pm? Or would she take them with her? Is she planning on doing this only every other weekend? And what about this fella - he's on board with that too, happy to live his life to her childcare demands?

Yes, I'd be making a comment to her. All of the comments above, and more probably.

I know we read about some interfering parents on here. However, in my circles, mums are usually right and can spot a wrong one way before their daughter. If my mum said this to me, I'd be seriously taking it on board.
I know you said drinking at 11am isn't usual for you, but is it usual for him? Is he drinking every time you're together?

Where did OP say she was pissed at 11am ? She said she had her first drink at 11am and got a little tipsy. It’s not a regular thing and it was just the plan for the day because of the event. Mind you, not surprised at some of the comments - on MN any more than a small sherry once a fortnight and you’re a raving alcoholic.

As an adult and a mother your in charge of your own actions
fair enough if she disapproves of your drinking sessions
but this is on you as much as your partner

Grow up.

What a load of nonsense. I’m in a long term relationship which we both look at as permanent and I can assure you planning a day out around sport or a live band or a lunch with friends and involving drinking in the day is perfectly normal.
I’ve never been happier in a relationship. Jeez 🙄

What the actual plans are / what you did isn't really relevant.

I posted this already but you may have missed it or dismissed it.

When my mother said this to me, she'd seen a change in my behaviour and demeanor that was completely at odds to the person she knew well. It turned out he was not a good guy and terrible for me, but I didn't see this for months.

Take a step back and try to look at things objectively just in case there's things you've brushed aside as being fine in the first flush if new love, when actually you felt like maybe they weren't.

Just take that beat to make sure things are ok.

And the moral of the story is don’t invite your mother out for day drinking!

"we usually have a blow out now and again"

Well which is it? Usually? Or now and again? It can't be both and sounds like the kind of language someone in denial might use.

I mean, in and of itself it's up to you what you do when you're free and not responsible for your children. But to plan a whole day of day drinking based around the football is hardly the stuff of dreams if you're looking for a long term relationship with this man and you have children. If you have no long-term plans with this man - crack on. If you're looking for a serious relationship - I'm with your mum.

You’re fine. I prefer daytime socialising/ drinking now. Especially if it’s for football or rugby. I hate going out for a ‘night out’. And one if the benefits is starting early so finishing earlier and being fresher the following day.

And that's fine, but doesn't make it a healthy choice and that's all people are saying.

How old are you? You are being unreasonable if you let your mother impose her views on your normal activities like this!

🙄

There are many things that are not healthy choices.

Having a takeaway at the weekend, or a McDonalds isn't a healthy choice either but many people do that every week.

Having a day where you have a few drinks at the pub while watching the football is just letting your hair down and enjoying yourself. She has already said she doesn't do this kind of thing often, its once in a blue moon.

Maybe it's his "normal" behaviour that's bringing your DM into questioning the relationship.
If you didn't drink pre meeting him at 11am but do now will/are their other behaviours that she can forsee that you will accept as being normal.

It's not exactly a healthy choice though, is it?

Wow, some people have got the full mumsnet in the comments. Having a drink at 11am on a weekend does not make one alcoholic.

Why did things break down with your ex?

It might not be the booze, it might just be a sixth sense thing with your mum that somehow he's not good news. She can't put her finger on it, but she has reservations. Generally in the first flush, a negative view from an objective 3rd party isn't welcome but it might be worth standing back a little.

No, having a drink at 11am once in a blue moon is absolutely not 'what alcoholics do'.

If someone starts drinking at 11am every single day and can't function without it, that would make them an alcoholic. Having a drink at 11am on rare social occasions doesn't make someone an alcoholic at all.