Mother made a comment on new partner

Hmmm sounds like this has accelerated quickly
Explosive connection after 6 months is usually the idealisation phase of Love bombing
Please tell me you havent introduced your DC...

Don’t want to come across as a prudish party pooper but……….you don’t need copious volumes of alcohol to have a good time. Have a bit of respect for your liver OP.

Perhaps your mum got used to the sad lady recovering from hurt, and is finding this happier daughter strange? Being more resilient can only be a good thing too, kudos to you.
Honestly, if you're happy and you are carrying on with all the care etc, then be happy. A happy mum too is great for children!

You've never had a day drinking session?,boozy brunch ect. What's the difference of going to the pub at 11am for a few drinks to watch the football or going to the pub at 7pm for a few drinks. Especially at the weekend when you have no responsibilities. I much prefer having drinks during the day than in the evening.

I started drinking at 11.00 the other week.
We had a pint before an (early) kick off. A pint at half time.
We had another drink with lunch
We were home by 7 ish, had a hot chocolate and some pudding.
We drank less than lots of people who go out in the evening.
What did you get up to that day op ?

Blimey she should have seen me in spoons at Gatwick last week … 5.30am 🤣🥂

Maybe it's less about the drinking and your mum just seeing you changing/being happy?

As long as you are still being a fab mum, keeping down a job, not drinking at 11am very often (!) and doing all the things you were doing just fine before you met your new fella, crack on I say.

Oh, get a grip.

The sheer naivety and shelteredness of some Mumsnetters really astonishes me. Someone having a drink at 11am every now and again absolutely does not make them alcoholics. Most adults who have a drink now and again will have had a drink at this kind of time once or twice in their bloody lives.

Do you think everyone who ever goes to a festival, a brunch, a champagne breakfast on their honeymoon or after a romantic night at a fancy hotel, a daytime sporting event, Christmas Day, a wedding, a hen party etc 'has a problem'? Because all those events frequently and typically include alcohol being served pre-noon. Have you never seen photos of, eg, a bride and her bridesmaids sipping champagne while they get their hair and makeup done in the morning? Do you think when people to go Wimbledon, the bar isn't serving anyone Pimm's at 11am?

Unclench, FFS.

My mother could start a drama in an empty room. Weddings, christenings, birthdays, Christmas lunch,. And she was sober.

To be fair everyone is going mad at the OP but who would bat an eyelid at anyone having a Baileys or Bucks Fizz at 11am on Christmas Day?!

If this was a one off I can’t see anything too wrong in it! I once had a girls day in Cambridge and we had a Bottomless brunch so had Prosecco at that time!

So what? You think normal adults make nothing but 'healthy choices' every single day of their lives?

Christmas dinner isn't 'a healthy choice'. A slice of birthday cake isn't 'a healthy choice'. A glass of champagne at a wedding isn't 'a healthy choice'.

Doesn't mean people are somehow spiralling into a chaotic life of addiction because they indulge in them now and again.

Sounds familiar.

Has your mother always been a downer on you @Keola

she sounds like mine, so ready to dim my shine, bring me down etc.

And she was home by three, not painting the town.

Christ you're a bundle of fun... they've gone to the pub to watch football. What are they going to do? It's not like she's on a 12 hour bender, ending up with a kebab in the centre of town.

Or are you one of those people who go to the pub, sit there with 1/2 pint lime and soda and watch the entire game (for which the landlord is paying over £1,000 a month to show) and then go home when it's over?

Don’t let her then. You have agency.

You also don’t need to defend yourself on here either.

Trying to navigate her issues is a hiding to nowhere, as I'm sure you know!

The more you say, the more it seems likely that her own issues are at play here and you can't do anything about them.

She's responsible for her actions and you can't control them but you can control your reactions to them. Don't let her make you second guess your day, you enjoyed yourself and were in full control of yourself. However, drinking seems an understandably triggering thing for you all, so I'd stick to only sober interactions from now on.

Just...also be careful to look out for yourself and make sure you're not being swallowed up in anything bad for you. Intensity and explosiveness oftentimes leads to an unpleasant fall out. So keep your wits about you and stick to tea and coffee with your mum!

Don’t second guess your good day, you had a good day and enjoyed it. See how things go with your new man and remember you’re an adult now who doesn’t have to tell her mother everything.

Hi K,

The moral outrage on here is laughable. Full of puritans today.

Randoms on MN shouldn't be jumping into be judgemental and your mother should give you the benefit of the doubt.

In the past have you felt like she doesn't really trust you, you have to behave in a certain way to be acceptable to the family? People please?

She knows you and should see that after your separation and time on your own, you are now in new phase of your life. That means you having different plans outside of what she has grown accustomed to.

I think as you are a grown woman you shouldn't have your behaviour and choices policed by anyone. Can you imagine a man behaving in the same way (shock horror, going to the pub on occasion and having a drink at 11am!!!) and his father saying he is worried about him and his new partner! No because that would be pathetic interfering behaviour.

Good luck op, I hope you have a good enough relationship with her to talk it through.

just seen the update that you were home by 3pm so now I understand even less what the comment was all about

Does she still get drunk and create drama?