Aibu for not having party for 5th birthday?

i would organise a party, i agree that they are important.

I would disagree. At a younger age they are likely to invite more people and have a party as they are only just getting to know those in their class and tend to socialise with a variety of friends. We only ever invited about 10-12 from the class but they wanted to do this and felt it was important.

Now they are 10/11 they don't want parties. One of mine did finally choose to invite a friend round and had takeaway, but currently the other child is saying they don't want to do anything.

This is why I think that @Laurasanford789 should consider what her child feels. If they haven't mentioned a party and are unlikely to be upset if they get invited to parties later in the year and question why they didn't do something with friends then it is absolutely fine to not do one. If however they have mentioned it and it's only because mum is feeling drained with everything that is going on then I think she should perhaps invite a few friends to the soft play. Parties really don't have to be hard work and she doesn't even need to organise it as a proper party if costs are high, just pay entry for 4 friends and buy them food for example.

I had my 5 year olds party this week. It definitely felt important to him. They talk about their parties at school all year.

My older two prefer to celebrate with just a couple mates.

I can’t understand why people think parties are ‘important’ at that age. They will hardly remember them!

Birthday parties are more important when they’re age 10/11 as friendships and socialisation is starting to really matter.

When my DC were small birthdays were just cake, pressies and family round. They were happy with that. I pushed the boat out more when they were older.

I would definitely invite a mate or 2 to the soft play and tea. What’s stopping you?

I agree with inviting a friend or two, if he would like to. It doesn't have to be a big, expensive, elaborate event, but I do think 5 is an important age to celebrate. It doesn't take much to make most 5-year-olds happy, though, so if he's excited about what you've already planned, that's enough.

We haven’t had a big party for any of ours and we have 6 kids. None of them have ever shown any interest at school age and we have done things like hire a bouncy castle, have family over etc when they are little. We do all different things for birthdays- some years it’s been smaller celebrations like softplay or dinner, some years we have hired those teepee type things to have their bat friends stay, some years it’s bigger things we do like CBeebies Hotel or Disneyland. There isn’t a set way of doing it.

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I’d invite a few friends to soft play, I think parties are important at this age, unless the child doesn’t want one of course.

As long he’s not bothered and asking about his party because he’s been to a classmates every other weekend then I don’t see the issue. If he is asking then invite a couple of friends to join you at soft play??

Parties are bloody expensive, let alone the stress of organising them. We’re doing one this year but certainly don’t do them every year.

Honestly, kids just want to feel special, they don’t need a class party for that. Lots of fuss, attention, some special gifts and lots of quality time and I’m sure they’ll love it!

No 5 year old NEEDS a party…so I think you should put your energy into something other than feeling guilty about this, because you have no need to feel guilty

For my eldest, we did a party for her 4th birthday that cost us £350+ so she was told in no uncertain terms that she wouldn’t be getting one for her 5th. We went to soft play with her sister and a couple of friends. She loved it, they don’t need a big party.

We missed a few years of parties because we always gave the option of going away for a little break or party. We’ve been for overnight stays at chessington, legoland and a hot tub lodge for as much as a party would have cost. I’ve never regretted it. They are turning 9 now and have asked for a small tea after school so we’ve hired a gaming bus as a surprise.

I agree with this. My DD turns 5 at the start of March and she is already insanely excited about her party. I couldn’t imagine not holding one for her. But that’s my child. I know that is what she wants. My DS is only 2, so who knows if he’ll be the same, but I would always offer it to both my children (and definitely at the 4/5/6/7 ages as that kind of feels peak traditional ‘kids party’ age).

So I would say, it is absolutely fine not to have a party, if that is what your child is happy with. Otherwise no, I think you need to do something where they get to celebrate with friends and not just family

my child has a Feb birthday so house/garden party is not great in the winter. He had a party for his 3rd and 4th and then his 6th. He was overwhelmed at all of them. Doing a soft play party for his 7th with a limit of 15friends. He does not feel like he missed out in reception, we had so many parties that year and there were no real established friendship groups so would’ve been hard to limit numbers for cost reasons. Younger sibling may have a 4th party (undecided yet but he’s still only 2) and then we’ll do a 6th and 7th again but after that will be even more of a select group. The cost is immense and even a softplay party is stressful as the host parents. Don’t overthink it, they will have a great birthday regardless.
I actually wish we had gone to somewhere like Legoland when the weather improves rather than spend £250 on softplay for a couple of hours but 7yr olds generally do not like to wait!

He won't remember not having a party. Presumably he's not constantly asking for one only for you to say No, you can't be bothered? There are other things going on and it just hasn't happened. What matters is that he feels special on his birthday which it sounds like he will with your plans.

If you decide you want to do something, you could ask a couple of his friends over next weekend to give them a bit of notice, order pizza (or cook supermarket ones at home) and eat ice-cream and cake. They can play with whatever toys they like and watch TV. Minimal effort and expense for you, lots of fun for them. You could always have a few no-prep-needed games in your head in case it looks like they need some structure. I can't think of any off the top of my head but there are loads of examples online.

Birthdays don't need to be big. How about asking him to pick 2-3 friends to come to the soft play and bring some sandwiches, crisps and his cake there

@Laurasanford789 you’re not unreasonable at all. Instead of just his sister could he take one friend.

I personally think birthday parties are quite important when you are turning 5, 6, or 7.

It doesn't have to be a big deal though - you've still got a month.
Why not invite 3 of his friends to join you at soft play?
Or invite them round for some tea and party games at your house?

I think it is fine if your child is happy about it. When mine were younger and went to other friends parties then they would ask to have a party and had quite clear ideas of what they wanted (my daughter at 6 for example wanted Rapunzel to come to her party).
There is absolutely nothing wrong though with not doing that, and my kids have never done the whole class party or been to any like that either as it isn't the done thing round here and people generally only do smaller parties.

If money isn't an issue, could you invite a couple of his friends to the soft play too? Keep it low key , but it will still feel like a party for your son if he has a couple of friends there.

We’re going to do this too. Just in the middle of organising the first one (4 years) - it’s fairly low key at the local leisure centre but it all adds up pretty rapidly! 😬 I don’t know how people do it every year. We’ll be aiming for a treat day out with a few close friends for the 5th birthday.

We do parties every other year as its too much. The year the dont have a party we go out somewhere as a treat

That is fine honestly he doesn't need a party every year. If you want invite a school friend, but you don't have to.

Don’t worry about it it. Could you invite a couple of friends to the soft play?