DS injured self and framed another child!

In fairness the club itself may not be open or contactable until later. When DS did martial art the earliest session was 4.30pm. That said if there is an email or phone number available I would be sending a message asap.

OP is more than likely thinking “shit how can I spin this to protect my reputation”.

My husband just showed me a video of a man who has murdered his partner crying because he's going to miss the release of GTA 6. He says, on camera, "At least I admitted it!" I wonder if PP would be proud of his honesty too, if he was her son.

Oh, he will definitely have seen, or at least heard, the rhetoric by age 12, believe me! It's absolutely rife amongst his age group. It needs serious addressing pronto. Even if he hadn't been exposed to it in any way, he will be soon, and he already has a problem with the girls doing better than the boys at that club. In the world today girls are surpassing boys in almost every measurable way so, if he can't handle that now, he's in for a long road of that getting worse and worse which may well, ultimately, lead him down the manosphere path himself, as he already has jealousy and resentment towards girls. People that feel like that usually seek out an echo chamber online to try to validate their feelings. A dangerous path for sure! Does he have any sisters or girl cousins?

Below ages 12-13 the physical differences between boys and girls are much smaller than between men and women, which is why under 13s are often mixed sex.
At the age they are technique and strategy are more important when it comes to success, rather than strength and stamina.
Men win in women's sports because they are stronger, bigger, have more muscle mass and greater lung capacity.
This is misogyny and your post is misogynistic bs

Aquiet
Just read your posting and it's because she's a she and he's not liking that as she's good which leaves him feeling inadequate
What he did was so wrong
That poor girl deserves a full apology and has to realise never to pretend she's lesser so as to keep the peace. Well done her for constantly defending herself some kids would've almost just laid down to be slaughtered
I think you feel unsettled because you know there's a whole big wide web out there spouting unsavoury man talk and he may heard some
Ever seen "Adolesence" on I think netflix?
I read what you wrote and suddenly remembered this series
It's good he eventually admitted what happened but, I honestly think he may need to talk to someone about this scenario.
If he hurt his own hand
May not think twice about anyone else's

Yep this.

permissive parenting at its finest.

Unfortunately he does.

What we can’t know though is whether he’s a nice enough chap who has made one terrible mistake, or, as the scion of a family of uncouth, violent yobs, this is leaned behaviour.

The fact that the error was not IMMEDIATELY reported does skew the perception.

The best thing he could do is go with you in person to own up to the coach.

A really good sports coach will respond in a constructive way and it will help your son face up what he did, take accountability, face the consequences, and feel proud of owning up and telling the truth which takes character. Everyone does stupid stuff but not everyone owns up to it and it's really good that your son did. It's probably a sliding door moment about learning to handle his emotions or choosing the negative way out.

I don't think with kids that its the mistake that is the biggest thing - it's how they act after the mistake that counts. Telling the girl he's genuinely sorry counts for a lot too.

People saying hes a nasty piece of work, well he might become one if that's what he's told he is off the basis of this mistake but that's what sports coaches, fitness coaches etc think of as part of the job - getting the best character wose out of kids.

Why are you waiting until tonight ?

You should have let the club know as soon as you did.

I can't believe you think it is okay to let the club officials and the coaches, to continue to be working on investigating this and working out what to do. Let alone the poor girl and her family.

Wow. How selfish.

Proud!?

jesus Christ this is why parenting is going down the pot these days. Why on earth would you focus on being proud about simply coming clean and telling the truth? It should be an expectation, not something to be proud of.

he premeditated and planned getting this girl kicked out due to his issue with a female 'winning' and him 'losing.' It's misogynistic and disgusting behaviour and he should be kicked out of the club because of it. Anyone who is normalising this is part of the problem.

there's absolutely nothing to be 'proud' of here.

Very sensible .

I really hope that you have contacted someone by now and put this poor girl out of her misery. She must be distraught! Imagine if the situation was reversed and no one thought it important to let you know your child was innocent.

I do both actually, boxing AND martial arts, no difference in martial arts or boxing in that context.

If you think I am defending misogiy, then be consistent, and don't come crying when your daughters will lose at sport against boys - or self-identifying female or whatever the term will be.

I am not accepting it. It's such a ridiculously simplistic and lazy vision, we have absolutely nothing to win in here if we pretend to be "equal".

I don't believe for a second anyone with common sense will be in favour of gender neutral sport, and will be happy to see women against men in racing, martial arts, tennis, swimming because they pretend they are fighting "misogyny".

I wouldn't wait for him to be kicked out, he'd lose that club after going in, telling the coach what really happened, and apologizing.

He tried to get someone into serious trouble because he was mad a girl won. He injured himself to do that. So you've got misogyny and self harm to deal with. What if he turns that anger outward physically?

I'd get him into therapy ASAP. I think this is a huge overreaction to losing and there's underlying issues causing problematic behaviour that need to be addressed by professionals.

BTW, if he does get kicked out, I'd find another club he can join where they might teach him a bit more about respect and sportsmanship!

It's got nothing to do with single vs mixed sex sports. Contact sports competition should be sex segregated.

These are kids learning and practicing and at the moment the girl clearly has superior skill. The boy cannot tolerate that. He cannot beat her so he's tried to punish her. It's the calculated nature of what he has done and why which is concerning.

It would be slander. If the 10 year old could establish damage has been done to her reputation. Which it wont be.

And while I know its a known and beloved sport on MN to kick an op while they're down theres really no need to chat absolute and utter nonsense. No one is going to lawyer up over this 🙄

This is BS. As someone else has pointed out already this is martial arts and not boxing so the context is very different. All the men I train with in my jiu jitsu club are very respectful and give me credit where it is due when I beat them. We are a friendly and respectful club and always support each other.

Sorry your boxing club is full of a bunch of misogynistic arseholes.

I can sort of see where this negative attitude towards girls comes from.

I’m nearly 60 so I’ve been a woman for a long time, and I’ve grown up in an era when women had their bums pinched, sexist jokes were acceptable etc, and there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s a man’s world….for adults.

But I’ve brought up 2 boys on my own, and I think it’s different for kids. Massive generalisation here, but as a rule primary school is easier for girls. Girls seem to find it easier to sit still, to concentrate, to focus, to quietly pay attention, to follow rules. Certainly at primary school the girls give the teachers less trouble, they’re the sweet ones, they get more stars and praise. Both my boys commented pretty early on that most teachers liked the girls better than the boys. Consequently they were both quite “anti girl” at primary school. They always felt that the teachers sided with girls in any conflict, and arguments were blamed on boys.

By puberty things start to change, and boys and girls are equally difficult at school! But I can sort of understand why a boy would feel peeved that a girl was better than him at something traditionally “boy-ish”. By age 12, a lot of boys are sick of seeing the girls get all the praise. Of course, as adults we know that men have it easier than women, but kids don’t know that yet.

My boys are young adults now, and have healthy attitudes to girls/women. But I had years of them moaning when younger that girls had an easier time.

OP what your son did was very wrong, but it doesn’t mean he’s Andrew Tate. He’s just got a lot of growing up to do. But he needs a lot of talking, reflection, and some consequences.

He was embarrassed, and made an emotionally-driven decision to make himself look better. Boys that age are hyper-sensitive to what they perceive as their physical weakness; the girls are maturing faster than they are, they want to be big strong teenagers like the ones they look up to, but they are acutely aware that they are not.There's a lot of machismo in this age group to compensate for the lack of ACTUAL sexual prowess, physical strength, disregard for rules/authority.

So no,I don't think it's extreme to have done what he did.

I do, however, think he needs to be kicked out of the club. There have to be consequences for making decisions like this that affect others so adversely, just to save face. Basically, "You've been a dickhead, son. Don't be a dickhead again."

What struck me the most from reading this is that he is so ashamed that a girl dominated him. That's a big red flag to me. I would be having a good look at that OP. You need to get on top of that kind of thinking/feeling as you don't want a teenager to be growing in to an adult man that is so jealous and resentful of strong/capable girls/women that he feels the need to blame/punish/attack/lie about them to soothe his own ego and insecurity. Immediately made me think of Adolescence.

He sounds like a nasty piece of work

Or alternatively the OP could not worry about what her little brave soldier is going through because a girl beat him at sport, and step up and do some proper parenting and not be manipulated by tears and guilt.

' Listen and Connect' ....and we wonder why there are so many feral youths about who don't care about the consequences of their actions.

There was no cctv