If your take home pay was 5k a month, would you do this?

As a fellow single parent of one DC I get the stress of being the only source of household income. It’s not necessarily as straightforward as always going for flexibility over pay when you’re the only source of household income, have to fund everything yourself, plus trying create a savings safety net.

OP I’d look at trying to negotiate some more flexibility, or at least find out if there’s flex in emergencies, such as when your child is ill. Some jobs will say they expect you in x days a week as standard, but are actually pretty flexible in practice when life stuff happens. Then factor in the commuting time, travel costs and how that will all work once your DC is in school, with breakfast and after school clubs not always being as flexible as nursery.

I would absolutely keep the flexibility if you are managing financially at the moment. More money would likely be really helpful but especially once DC starts school the flexibility is worth more imo.

personally better the devil you know so to speak

I personally would, that is a lot of money you can put away for the future, But only you know how the reduced flexibility is going to impact your lives

It depends how badly you need the extra £1k a month. If you're always broke by the end of the month and don't have enough left over to save even £100 a month for emergencies, then I think I'd take the job paying the extra money. If the money would be a nice to have but you are managing right now, I think I'd value the enormous flexibility of your existing role more.

As said, after expenses, it's around £460 a month. However, if you need to take unpaid leave to cover sickness, then it becomes not worth it. It's also the difference between someone at, assemblies, plays, inspire days, parents evenings etc. Unless you have family that could go.

Sorry no, no matter what your life is i value flexibility over salary now, you do not know what is down the road, children get sick, you get sick or need extra appointments, other family members need you etc. I am so blessed no matter what happens i have the flexibility to work extra hours, start early or late, finish early or late, build up TIL, WFH, this is so so important to me

Your current job sounds like a dream

I would ask your current employers for a pay rise - you've been offered more that would give you 1k a year more.. See if you can negotiate it!

Would the salary increase take you over £100000k total before tax, as that can make a big difference in terms of childcare funding etc?

Eithher way, keep the flexibility that gets even more important when your child is in school. Constant events that need attending.

I would be considering which job was best for my long-term career.

I wouldn't. You won't have a grand extra a month to spend as you please, and for £300 of spending as you please, the lack of flexibility and the unknown are just not worth it.

Flexibility wins - Once kids are in school, trust me, oddly it gets harder and more expensive. My childcare bills went up once they went to school to cover after-school club and holiday clubs. And the juggle nearly broke me . That is actually when I went part time.

If you were hard up, then maybe. But you already have a healthy income and the flexibility while DC is small would win it for me over a bit more cash. Once they start school that flexibility will be priceless.

You can either have more money, more savings- and also more money spent out in school holidays for clubs etc when she starts school plus get back into a routine of getting everything done in the evening/ weekends again.

Or keep the flexibility.

I would personally wait until she's older but 1k is alot more a month- but in school holidays etc you will end up using that on clubs and care. x

I'd stick with the flexibility. It's worth more than just money, especially if you know your co parent is useless and if you ever need any slack, you'll have to sort it yourself. Your current job allows for that.

When they start school it gets weirdly harder than nursery, because you suddenly have to start scrabbling around for holiday clubs etc, and many of those aren't viable in Reception / Year One. I didn't realise how big a leap that was going to be. There are a lot of school holidays. So definitely factor that in.

Do you like the sound of the new job significantly more than the old one for any other reasons?

If I didn’t need the extra money, I’d stay flexible. If I needed the money, I’d make it work.

Consider this plus what lifestyle you want and then work out if the change would be worth the extra you end up with after all new expenses are taking into account.

Also consider the time it might take for you to get to / from the office for the new role, as if at 9am / 4pm this is a nightmare, you might find you do actually need long in childcare, or it could be additional stress that makes your life worse (rushing back and forwards).

I was offered the option to go back to full time not long back, but when you take everything into account, the £amount increase wasn't worth the loss of lifestyle.

I wouldn’t whilst child is still in nursery. Having the flexibility you have for me would be worth more than £1k.

Hi @Juso
i haven't read the full thread as I didn't want to be conflicted!

my gut is to take it.

I was on similar take home (and then a bit more over the years) and am also a single mum. It was totally my money that paid for everything. I always accepted promotions and more money when offered . Where I could afford I spent on a great after school care and then later private school, invested in my pension, savings. ISAs, cleaners - anything that supports you and your DD.

1. doesnt that increase take you over £100k and affect your eligibility for free hours?
2. how much of that money would get eaten up in additional outsourcing of cleaning/laundry/food prep/extra travel?

How much of your leave would get eaten up in needing to book time off for the kind of appointments you fit in by working from home, or by having to take the day off if DC is ill?
4) how reliable is that commute - can you still do drop off and pick up and start/finish work on time? What is your backup?
5) what sort of ad hoc flexibility can you negotiate for specific things?

What is the progression opportunity at both, and how often are you in the office a week currently? And when did you get your last decent pay rise at the company you’re at?

If your last pay rise was a while ago, I’d be inclined to ask for more there first. I did recently, and evidenced how I could get more elsewhere (by speaking with recruiters), and my current employer gave me quite a bit extra.

It’s tough because the goodwill and flexibility is so important with children, but takes a while to build up in a new role. Four days for me would be tough in the office (but I have an hour commute). Depends how old your child is I suppose.

To be honest, the primary years are hard and the flexibility helps, but I'm finding it even more essential to have flexibility and be around when I'm parenting my teen in secondary. Better to be around when they get home, more available to chat, being present when they have their friends around and keeping an eye on what company they keep, being available to take them places. The more time you have to spend with them in that (often challenging) period, the better.

To the OP, I'm in your position and quite frankly I wouldn't take the job. Not unless you think it will lead to serious progression in the future. Having flexibility for your kids and your family is very precious to me.

Grand a month v being happy where you are and flexibility it's a tough one