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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bring up a colleagues sexual assault at work

161 replies

Purplenote · 09/02/2026 13:20

OK so its a weird question I know and prob very obvious answer but just checking...
I recently read an article in a national newspaper and it was about a lady who had waived her right to anonymity in order to name her attacker. I was shocked and saddened to realise I know the girl (she was both named and photographed). I work in the same company and often deal directly with her albeit mostly over microsoft teams, we are similar age so we are friendly and would chat away at the coffee dock but def not friends outside of work. Tomorrow we will be onsite at an event together and if we have a moment just the 2 of us, do I say to her "I'm was so sorry to read about what you experienced" or just keep my mouth shut?
I don't want her to think that I don't care or don't believe her if i say nothing, but then I don't want to make uncomfortable or upset at work.

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 09/02/2026 13:25

To use one of the phrases in your post, you keep your mouth shut.

Spaghettion · 09/02/2026 13:25

I wouldn’t bring it up unless she does first.

ItsTimeToChang3 · 09/02/2026 13:25

id say she was very brave

Coconutter24 · 09/02/2026 13:25

Don’t bring it up. If she does then fine but it’s not your place to bring it up

Villanellesproudmum · 09/02/2026 13:24

Maybe pick your timing so it doesn’t impact or risk derailing her day. She sounds a strong brave admirable woman, if I mentioned anything it would be something along those lines.

ClaudiasDreadfulEyeliner · 09/02/2026 13:24

Oof no - it's not work related and is very personal and upsetting. Definitely don't bring it up.

TamarindCottage · 09/02/2026 13:23

I’d talk to her normally. If she mentions the article then you can too

Purplenote · 09/02/2026 13:22

Hobnobswantshernameback · 09/02/2026 13:22

You are at work.
I presume you will have actual work to discuss

Yes funnily enough we often talk about other things not just work

OP posts:
Hobnobswantshernameback · 09/02/2026 13:22

You are at work.
I presume you will have actual work to discuss

PinkFrogss · 09/02/2026 13:21

Don’t mention it, you will most likely make her feel very uncomfortable.

It sounds like you only want to say something to her because of how you feel.

Purplenote · 09/02/2026 13:21

Just to say she also gave an interview to the newspaper about her experience.

OP posts: