To bring up a colleagues sexual assault at work

I was that 'brave" person many years ago, different circumstances, but I 'put myself out there'.
I was working at the time and much preferred people to say something, simply because when I knew they knew, and they stayed silent, I was wracked with doubt about what I'd done.
O tortured myself, even though people were perfectly decent and nice, I was convinced they stayed quiet because I was awful, or they thought I was to blame.

There is no right answer, personally, I would leave it until they end of the conversation, then just say something along the lines of, 'by the way, I have so much admiration for what you did, you must have found ot so difficult."

I wouldn't mention it. Just because she has waived her right to anonymity doesn't mean she wants it referenced out of context. You can show her in lots of situation and context appropriate ways that you are supportive of her and respect her, for her work and her person. She's unlikely to think by not raising it you don't care about her if you act like a caring colleague/friend the rest of the time.

It’s a tricky one.
Weighing it all up, no I wouldn’t bring it up unless she does because you are at work and it sounds like you don’t know her well.
If you do, keep it very simple. If it went completely arseways because she didn’t react how you thought she would or you inadvertently said something insensitive, that could come back on you professionally. Make sure you don’t discuss it with anyone else either.

Maybe insult is too strong a term - brave is a 'distancing' word, it implies that someone is doing something others would (sensibly) choose not to. So if you say 'I'm going to ask him out,' and someone says 'that's brave,' you're going to immediately question what they mean. Why is it brave? What's the issue? It's not encouraging or supportive, it's subtly critical.

Oh OK, so not the case I was thinking about.

I maintain though that if she's likely to know you know, better to acknowledge it than pretend you don't know.

That isn't what brave means though.

Someone I know appeared in the daily mail as she had been sexually harrassed by her employer. I did contact her to say that I thought she was brave and hoped she was doing well and she appreciated it. But I would do it in a message, not face to face in case she doesn’t want to discuss it openly at work

Don't say brave. Brave is an insult. Brave means 'you did something dangerous, and a bit foolish.'

If you said 'that's a brave outfit' to someone it would very definitely be an insult.

Waiving anonymity is often done so that the perpetrator can be named, not because survivors are happy to discuss it with all and sundry.
Just because she has given an interview doesn't automatically mean that she is happy for the topic to be raised in a work context.

I would. I would say I saw the article and I thought she was so very brave and that it's probably helped others and I would ask how she is feeling about going public. I would say I totally understand if she didn't want to talk about it but I am here if she did and massively proud of her.

If you do feel the need to say she was veey brave, make sure it doesn't come across as "I'd never do that"

If she's spoken publicly then it's very unlikely that it's a completely raw subject - she'll have given quite an extensive interview, perhaps with follow ups and it's likely others will have contacted her to talk about it too. There is far too much silence around sexual assault.

It's entirely appropriate to mention it and offer support and acknowledgement of what she has done.

She has chosen to bring it into the public arena, which is massively commendable and brave. I think ignoring it is far worse (but then again, I'm in Ireland, it's more likely that we will raise personal matters here than in the UK - which can be good or bad ...)

This is how abuse of women is hidden all the time. It's upsetting to talk about it. We mustn't mention it.

Not sure what I would do, so giving no advice. Just saying sexual assault is very frequent and we should stop being polite about it and the men who perpetrate it.

They'd be in contempt of court then - papers aren't permitted to publish detail that would inadvertently identify the individual.

I'm in Ireland - when survivors of assault tell their stories, it's a definite decision where they waive anonymity, and choose to make a statement to the media and sometimes further interviews.

Be careful when you bring it up, if you do. It may still be very raw and upsetting and if she gets tearful and emotional it could be very embarrassing for her if she then has to try to carry on working.

I would say something brief along the lines of you admire her waiving her anonymity as it humanises her experience which is powerful and could help others. As she has gone public I think it’s appropriate to show solidarity.

Sometimes people tell their story because a paper will publish it anyway with just enough detail to be identifiable, and they would rather own it. In other words, it's not much of a choice.

Not saying this is the case here, but it could be.

I don't think there's anything wrong with mentioning it - she'll know people have seen it and it may be a relief for someone to actually talk about it rather than just avoiding it. Rather than saying you're sorry, I think it's better to say you admire her for what she did. Don't say the word 'brave' though please.

Do not mention it. You know her through work, you're not a close personal friend who she has spoken to about it, it's for her to bring up not for other people to start talking about to her. You're feelings are kind and right but you don't need to vocalise them to her, she's a SA victim and talking of it may be triggering.

Mentally preparing for then giving an interview in a safe space is different than having it brought up in conversation, as much as you admire her bravery. If she brings it up somehow that is the moment for you to say you saw the interview and offer her your words etc.

Do not bring it up. Carry on as normal.

I wouldn’t say anything at work. She may well be putting a brave face on, going into “work mode” to hold it together. If you take her out of work mode, she might find it difficult.

A colleague of mine lost her Dad last week. She’s coming back to work tomorrow and has sent a message asking us not to mention it.

When I had a miscarriage I was OK at work until people said “sorry to hear about your miscarriage”. Then I’d cry.

I would bring it up 1:1, and say something. It’s in the public domain, so she has braved being exposed. I would have thought it a good thing for her to experience positivity from the choice, rather than avoidance (or worse, negative).

just pick your moment well, as I’m sure you would.

I think you can and should mention it but rather than coming from a place of pity, I'd go for something more like "I saw your interview, I'm so proud of you and think it helps other people in the same situation".

It doesn't have to be a whole song and dance about it but I feel like ignoring it and sweeping it under the carpet smacks a bit of shame and your own embarrassment. She's waived her anonymity on purpose.

And then you can move onto whatever it is you're doing at work.

I would say nothing unless she mentions it