To bring up a colleagues sexual assault at work

I think she's told the story now to the paper, she probably doesn't want to have to then discuss it with everyone she knows who read it. I'd imagine she just wants to move on now she's bravely shared her story in a way she was comfortable with.

If she wants to talk to you about it then fine but otherwise keep shtum.

Support comes in may forms. You can support ppl without them asking, especially if you care about them.
My friends never have to ask for my support.

That's a really hard one as different people would probably want different things, eg I know someone who told me she was upset no one in her hobby group really asked how she was or talked about it in the weeks after she kept them know her dad died traumatically, whereas my DH actively didn't want people to bring his dad's death up when he was trying to have fun.

If she's gone public and she'll know you are likely to know, and she's someone you'd usually chat to a bit, I think it seems odd not to mention it at all. But I'd do it in a low key way, and with no one else around or over text, and not before a meeting or something. Just along the lines of 'hope you are ok, here if you need to talk' or 'well done for the article, you may not want to talk about it but here if you do' etc

It's tricky though as others may hate that!

I probably wouldn’t unless she mentions it, she might find it upsetting to have it brought up in work

@Purplenote As a survivor of CSA a few years ago on my private Facebook I started to share and be open a little about my experience of CSA. Not the details (I am still too ashamed to do that). Two of my old babysitters are friends with me on Facebook (they are only a couple of years older than me). One of them and her best friend the other baby sitter reached out to me by messenger saying she had thought long and hard about writing to me. She did not want to cause me more pain or make me feel patronised. However, she wanted to share that if I needed to talk she could listen that she was proud of who I have become despite what happened. Unfortunately for me I was badly bullied at school and abused at home. What I appreciated most was the no judgement or the crassness of either asking for details or assumptions. I have experienced both from individuals who should know better. It was her saying I read about your situation, you were brave to share, I understand it is difficult due to victim shaming and assumptions people make. She recognises that my whole identity is not that I am victim or survivor (sometimes I am
both) there is more to me than the abuse. I was proud they both attended my wedding last year (two of the three people from my past) how despite the pain I experienced i finally found a loving genuine man. Last year they supported me further by me visiting the town we grew up in for dinner. This to me shows genuine support and thought for a survivor. Do not ignore it, acknowledge you read the piece. However respect that you are at work and she may not wish to talk about it. Treat her as would normally, this will hopefully help remind her that you and others see her as a survivor not a victim.

If the friend brings it up herself. She’s not asking for support . You can’t assume this

I wouldn't say anything, only if she brings it up. I wouldn't necessarily want to talk about something like that with colleagues even if it was public knowledge. Sometimes it's nice to be somewhere you know people are not going to discuss it.

The only person who knows for sure what the right thing to do here is your colleague.
Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.
If your intentions are good and you are generally a reasonably intuitive person, you can’t go too wrong.
There’s no form for this situation.
I think overthinking it is probably just going to make it unnatural.
If you are really unsure, err on the side of caution and say nothing.
She isn’t expecting a reaction from you. She doesn’t know whether you will have happened to see the article or not.

She is very brave to waive her rights to anonymity. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying ‘I saw one of the articles about you and I think you’re very courageous’. It’d be different if you didn’t know her but it seems like you’re on friendly terms.

It takes a lot of guts to do this and by going public, she’ll know that people will say things to her. I doubt you’ll be the first!

I’d have a card in your bag just saying you had seen her interview snd you think she is a brave and admirable woman and hand it to her towards the end of the meeting if the time seems right.

See how the day goes, if the moment comes I would mention that I saw the news article and I hope that she is doing okay.
I think it would be worse to ignore it.

No, don't bring up the subject of the SA, but be compassionate and supportive to her if she confides in you. Your colleague is likely to need to be surrounded by good women, who are kind.

If she is ready, she may open up to you, if you bring up the subject, she could get triggered and the work place is not the place.

So many people on here who've either (1) decided on her behalf that she wants to talk about it or (2) decided to personally intrude into her business by telling her what they think of her and due to their reasons for doing it, implying that anyone who didn't like this would be a bit weird

So arrogant and self-centering

Perfectly OK to say you saw her article and admire her bravery.

Then leave it at that (unless she takes the lead in talking more). You're showing her solidarity, not trying to have a back-and-forth.

Don't go the sympathy route and obviously do the above in a message, not out loud or in public.

You don't actually have to do anything, though. She's not going to think you disbelieve her if you don't say anything. She'll assume you haven't seen the article.

I disagree with nearly everyone too.

She has bravely chosen to speak out about it and everyone pretending they don’t know seems to be a disservice to her. I think what you’re planning on saying is respectful. Obviously, if she doesn’t respond in any way, then you’d leave it there, but it sounds as though you’re sensitive enough to know that.

No. Leave it alone. Just act like a normal, friendly colleague and stick to professional subjects and small talk. Most unfair for you to contemplate bringing this up in a work setting.

FFS. What an unnecessarily pompous reply to somebody asking for advice on a sensitive matter.

Seriously I’d give her a discreet nod of understanding her position and be clear she has your support. I’m staggered by the responses on this thread.

This! Why is everyone doing the Mumsnet “keep your nose out”? I’d say a discreet “I hear you” would be highly appropriate

I’m unsure how to vote as I’m not sure what you think the ‘obvious answer’ is?

I wouldn’t mention it.

Imo you never being up other people's uncomfortable news.

If you get a chance to be private with her then yes, I think it would be a good thing to say something. Just ‘I’m sorry for what you’ve been through’ .

I'm a survivor and when I told my manager the reason why I wasn't able to come into work he said that he would tell the team that I was off due to illnesss but I asked him to tell them what had happened. I did this because I felt that while I was "sick" in the sense that I was deeply traumatised, pretending that I had a physical illness was buying into the sense of shame that shrouds crimes of this nature. What I found was that my team were incredibly supportive when they knew what had happened, and it helped me to recover. Of course victim/survivor anonymity is central to the (sadly few) successful prosecutions we have and it must never be breached by anyone other than the person who has experienced the crime. Your colleague sounds very brave and what she is doing is hopefully doing something to diminish the stigma around crimes of this nature. I do speak about what happened to me when it feels relevant, things like the court process and my application for compensation from the Criminal Injuries Compenstion Authorities was sadly almost as bad as the assault. I contributed to some research done by the Victim's Commissioner about how the CICA process re-traumatised victims, of course that was anonomised but seeing my words in print did give me some of my sense of self back.

I dislike this way of looking at human interaction. To show compassion, solidarity and empathy for another person is completely normal behaviour. Sure, some people make things about themselves but from the original post it's clear that that isn't op's motivation at all.