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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To holiday alone with DD?

89 replies

HolidayOrNay · 09/02/2026 09:28

DP has three older children and we have DD2 together. This summer, we are going on a ten day holiday all together to a camp site in the South of France, but I also really fancy a more relaxing break.

DP has said he won’t go on holiday with DD unless SC are there too. I don’t want to go for a week without her. AIBU to go on holiday with DD instead of DP?

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:46

@HolidayOrNay but you have got together with someone who now has 4 children. I assume SC live with you at some point

Original poster
HolidayOrNay · 09/02/2026 09:44

sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:41

@BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation when my parents went on holiday without me I stayed with GPs (and got very spoilt)

I can understand why your DP wouldn’t want to go on holiday with only some of his children.

@HolidayOrNay if all 4 children were yours would you leave some behind so you can have a more relaxing holiday

I wouldn’t have had four children 😂

If they were all mine, I’d probably not leave some behind whilst the youngest was 2. I’d probably just do family holidays until the youngest was older, then would want to go on some holidays with DP. But they’re not all mine.

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:42

@HolidayOrNay I am assuming DD is 2. Not sure I would find a holiday with a toddler relaxing, especially when solo parenting!

sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:41

@BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation when my parents went on holiday without me I stayed with GPs (and got very spoilt)

I can understand why your DP wouldn’t want to go on holiday with only some of his children.

@HolidayOrNay if all 4 children were yours would you leave some behind so you can have a more relaxing holiday

Eenameenadeeka · 09/02/2026 09:39

It kind of sounds like he sees it as wanting to treat all of his children equally, which is quite nice I guess, but in your position I wouldn't go on holiday without my 2year old, so id say yes, go with dd instead.

Neurodiversemom · 09/02/2026 09:39

No, you're not being unreasonable.

Original poster
HolidayOrNay · 09/02/2026 09:39

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 09/02/2026 09:37

So your DP is saying holiday with all four DC or just with him? Where is your DD supposed to go in the second scenario?

She could stay with grandparents, they’ve had her before for overnights when we’ve had work or other commitments, but only for a night so far. I wouldn’t have any concerns about her safety and I’m sure she’d be alright to be left longer, but I don’t want to.

OP posts:
Original poster
HolidayOrNay · 09/02/2026 09:37

sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:36

Would it be more relaxing with DD?

More relaxing than what?

OP posts:
BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 09/02/2026 09:37

So your DP is saying holiday with all four DC or just with him? Where is your DD supposed to go in the second scenario?

sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:36

Would it be more relaxing with DD?

Original poster
HolidayOrNay · 09/02/2026 09:35

NemesisInferior · 09/02/2026 09:32

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

I think from DP’s perspective I should want to holiday alone with him, and it’s true that we don’t get enough time together. But I don’t want to leave DD for longer than necessary yet!

OP posts:
NemesisInferior · 09/02/2026 09:32

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

Original poster
HolidayOrNay · 09/02/2026 09:31

sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:30

How old are the older children?

Between 7 and 11.

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 09/02/2026 09:30

How old are the older children?