To holiday alone with DD?

And you can bet more of the work of managing a 2 year old who's having to slot into a trip not planned around her needs would fall to you.

Yanbu anyway. He clearly understands that in a family with multiple DC over several years, sometimes it makes sense to do activities specific to some ages and stages but not others. That doesn't just apply when it suits him. He shouldn't be expecting you to leave a toddler away from their parents for a week either, plenty of people aren't at all ok with that.

Ah, that's a shame.

Did you miss my first sentence?

I don’t think DD should be left out of the theme park either.

DP shouldn’t be leaving any of his children behind which is seemingly his point re holiday.

Well he's a total hypocrite then in that case. Why is it OK to leave the child he has with you behind and take his other 3 away but not the other way round?

If he wants to take each of your SC away individually by himself can't he ask their mother for a night or 2 extra with each of them whenever would be convenient for her?

I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable.
It’s you who also wants the more relaxing break.
Your partner isn’t unreasonable for considering his other 3 kids.
You are not unreasonable for just going away with your one child.

You seem to be massively projecting.

The only holidays this year are a weekend focused on SC fun and a 10day holiday focused on SC fun. They're hardly being left out. The OPs DD is though.

I would understand if you were planning disneyland and dd was closer in age. But she's 2 and you want coffee and museums- essentially you want a nice holiday yourself and are happy to make it suit your toddler. She's 2 so that still works. That wouldn't work with older children, the holidays will always be based around them.

I think you need to nip this in the bud now or you're at risk of dh not doing any fun stuff with dd when her half siblings aren't around. She'll alwasy be much younger and there's more of them so she'll end up being the one missing out. Yanbu!

So many double standards here! If a weekend for a theme park is ‘different’ then OP & her DP should book a long weekend aimed at their DD’s interests (I can recommend CBeebies land or peppa pig world).. but I’m sure her DP wouldn’t agree to this either and people would still say this is bad.

A weekend away for a theme park is different, unless there are bits that younger one can take part in eg Disney which could cater for all ages. But I would be looking at it as you treat all 4 equally, not framing it as a holiday would be better if the 3 older ones weren't there.

You get many posts on here from adult step kids who resented one of their parents (usually the dad) doing holidays with his new family. Something they wouldn't have told their parents but can come on an anonymous forum and tell it how it really was when they were younger.

I think it’s unreasonable of your husband to expect your parents to look after a 2 year old for a week. Overnight is very different from a whole week your parents will be exhausted and your child will probably miss you a lot.

Ive taken our kids separately on holiday by myself. Without the other child and without DH. They were specific holidays suitable for me and the child at the age they were. I don't see any issue with this at all.

I see no issue here OP. My husband and I have 3 children (all both of ours). No step children for full clarity. They are 20, 18 and 14 now. Over the last couple of years, I have done some breaks/holidays with just the younger 2 and some with just my youngest. I have 3 breaks planned with the youngest this year. Although the older ones were invited and chose not to come (my eldest doesn’t enjoy camping and the 18 year old is at the point where he’s just “bored” all the time and doesn’t want to do anything wherever we go). I don’t see why we should miss out on the opportunity to go away just because others in the family don’t want to go. My husband gets 13 days less annual leave than I get, hence me planning trips solo.

You’ve said about going just the 3 of you, your DH has declined. His reason for declining is valid and I commend him for it. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get to go either. Go and have a great time - one of my biggest regrets is not doing the solo trips before the last couple of years.

YANBU. I would do the same. He’s being a bit silly here. I regularly go on holiday separately with DC as they have different interests and enjoy different types of holidays.

that is very telling

I was going to say YABU but as you have booked a holiday focused on SC's needs, and they are getting a separate long weekend with their dad, I think it's fair enough to prioritise your DD.

I also think DD deserves some of her dad's attention on holiday. I imagine he's feeling guilty but he's over compensating here.

I'd book it for when SC are away with mum if possible.

I agree that you will have a lovely time on your own with your DD. He is happy for his ex to take his older children away without him so can’t really complain if you take your DD without him.

You're having a family holiday with all the children so I can't see why it would be a problem for you to have a solo break with your little one at a different time. He doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to. I think it's natural for a part time parent to struggle sometimes with guilt and juggling priorities but your little one is just as important as the other children and he's happy to take his other children away without her so how is it different to take her away on your own? I would tell him you're taking her away and he can join you or not, but he shouldn't make you feel bad about wanting a little holiday with your own child!

Your dp is being ridiculous. Go on holiday with your dd. I go away a few times a year without dh (we have holidays together too). My dd was a breeze at age 2, especially when it was just both of us.

As long as SC are being involved in one holiday you are totally within your right to want a holiday with just your child.