Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

This.
Better her father than friends telling her.
Chewing with your mouth closed is very basic.

It's literally your job as parents to encourage good manners. He made her aware that she was being rude. I can't see how that could upset you.

I cannot stand people.chewing loudly and would have to say something if it was someone i knew or even a family member . I find kids are the worst for it especially when eating sweets but yesterday a man was stood next to me chewing gum so loudly i honestly wanted to batter him
I had to move away

Pressed wrong selection by accident 😭
Child needs telling...

He is right, it's gross. Your daughter also needs to get a grip if she offended by this in all honesty -so do you

If this is all you've got to worry about in life then you clearly have fuck all going on.....

I wondered that.

”Thoughts please” is quite a male way of writing.

And the claim he “said” it to her. But my reply was based on face value that it’s not a reverse.

By your own account, he didn't tell her anything; he asked her not to do something which is yick. He even said please.

You too should be teaching her to eat without making the whole company listen to her doing it. And if it offends her to have disgusting bad manners pointed out to her, well, maybe she was offended by anyone being so horrible as to potty-train her, too, but so what? There are some things people do need to learn as children, and not slurping and chomping loudly while they eat is one of them.

Why on earth would you want your daughter to do something many people find repulsive?

Chewing is a sound that many, many people find very difficult to handle. Loud chewing is generally considered very bad manners as a result.

11 is perfectly old enough to know, or else be told, not to do this.

I have to tell my 11 yo quite often - he finds it hard as he is going to need a brace but he is capable of chewing with his mouth shut, and other people outside the family aren’t going to tolerate it.

Different if an aggressive tone is used by the adult of course, there’s no need for that.

Well, she had to learn from someone.......

My husband chews loudly with his mouth open and sounds like a pig. I have been aware of it since we were dating and I made a conscious decision to accept it as everything else was great and I am sure I have my quirks too.

It's not a quirk-it's bad manners that can easily be corrected!

How has he not noticed that others aren't eating like that?

This has to be a reverse, surely nobody would be upset about this 😂😂
Dad is either downplaying how rude he was about it, or exaggerating the reactions.

You’re all assuming she was actually chewing loudly. My ex used to tell our daughter off for chewing loudly - she wasn’t. He also told her off for wrinkling up her nose (at random times, not directed at anyone), a bit of a habit she had formed. She was a nervous wreck and mealtimes became awful. She’s an adult now with very good table manners, not a noisy chewer and is now non contact with her Dad. Some people, when they’re in a bad mood about something, make peevish and mean comments to other people to make themselves feel better. Only you know the answer to this OP. If she is a noisy eater then he could have said it a little more kindly IMO, something like ‘close your mouth darling please, I can hear you chewing.’

It's quite astonishing that she's managed to get to the age of 11, and still doesn't know to eat with her mouth closed. It's not rocket science, simple manners. That's it. God, noisy eating is so irritating. I'm with your husband ALL the way with this one.

Agreed, the amount of regurgitated and repetitive tripe on here currently is off the scale

Not at age 11. She should have been corrected with love long before this. I think this is a wind up.

upset and angry… really?! Are you normally prone to overreacting?

If there are PP’s coming to comment, as above, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME.

OP isn’t interested, why should you be!

(I really have started to check if OP’s have returned, before commenting. MN is being sold, traffic needs to be up to increase the value - therefore loads if AI written, controversial posts where the OP does not return - an absolute waste of time for us as contributors.)

I completely understand your perspective now, thanks for replying.

I do think that at eleven she is past the age of making a joke or story out of it, as realistically she should be doing it naturally by that point. I do agree with doing it in a manner that doesn’t make her feel shamed but I think a simple correction, without anger, would’ve been more appropriate for her age.

I am a ways off having an eleven year old but I have taught plenty of them and you can tell who has and hasn’t been raised with good manners. I wouldn’t want to be at this stage still reminding DC very basic things like eating with her mouth closed.

Obviously he is right. And as her parents it is yours and your husbands job to advise her not to do it so that she doesn't do it around others. It is incredibly rude.

I get this, but she is 11, I imagine she's been told 1000 times already

Depends whether she was chewing loudly in his ear really. If she was, then don't, it's horrible.
It also depends on how he said it, if he was angry then yea it's out of order and he should have just asked nicely.

Are you ok....

I think the Dad may have corrected it in a harsh way and that is why she was hurt. There's no reason she should have felt hurt over the issue itself. I absolutely believe she should have been corrected and at home, with love, is exactly where that needs to happen. When phrased the way her Dad did it, she will have felt disrespected and will have heard "you disgust me". Which isn't actually that useful and damages their bond. It was tinged with hostility. It didnt need to be, it could be said with humour, "it sounds like there is a little horse in here! You can definitely eat a bit quieter". Or with a story. This also models the sort of respect we should show other people, there are definitely people we wouldn't speak to in that way, a FIL doing the same perhaps. It teaches them both diplomacy and manners. And doesn't harm their relationship. If my partner spoke to our kids like that I would be disappointed as I know they're a more skilled parent than that. Expressing personal irritation just teaches her that her dad doesn't like it and didn't like her very much.

I actually see corrections like this as being on team DD from the off. Nobody wants to see or hear what is in an eleven year olds mouth, so it’s much better to hear it from her parents than kids at school.

I was curious, to the people that are ‘team DD’ do you not correct your children’s manners? It’s something I have worked really hard on with my LO because I want those good habits to be stuck with her for life. I just have to point at my lips and DC (not yet 4) knows her table manners have slipped and she shows me her eating nicely, obviously there’s no need to be harsh about it.