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Original poster

Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

392 replies

Meg878o · 09/02/2026 07:18

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

OP posts:
thirdfiddle · 15/02/2026 13:26

Many/most people with ADHD will have sensory gating problems, where the second time the noise happens, it has the same impact as the first time. And it's actually more and more frazzling the longer it goes on.

This is fascinating. I have this problem. People eating, office background noise, even music in the background - I love music, but if it's on I'm listening to it and it can stop my brain doing other stuff. When I play music I think it works to my advantage as I'm more aware than most people about what the other musicians in the group are doing. Unless what the other people are doing is wrong, at which point I'm more likely to fall over too.

Imdunfer · 15/02/2026 11:59

CurlewKate · 15/02/2026 11:01

All this ADHD stuff is ridiculous. It’s a parent’s responsibility to teach a child acceptable manners. And eating quietly is fundamental. She’s 11, not 3!

It is not ridiculous.

If you scanned my brain and yours (assuming you are NT) while we were listening to someone making loud eating noises, your brain would damp the reaction on each successive chomp and mine would not.

CurlewKate · 15/02/2026 11:01

All this ADHD stuff is ridiculous. It’s a parent’s responsibility to teach a child acceptable manners. And eating quietly is fundamental. She’s 11, not 3!

Imdunfer · 15/02/2026 08:20

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 14/02/2026 18:47

I think most neurotypical people would dislike loud slurping right next to their ear just as much as someone with ADHD would, to be honest. Maybe he's just a normal bloke trying to teach basic eating manners to a child who is "offended" if she is asked not to eat loudly. (Asked with the use of the word "please", and everything.)

Actually I can see nothing in the list of ADHD symptoms that suggests loud chomping right at them is nastier for someone with ADHD than it is for anyone else. That is, repulsive.

I think most neurotypical people would dislike loud slurping right next to their ear just as much as someone with ADHD would, to be honest.

Sorry this isn't true.

When a neurotypical person hears a repeated noise, their brain damps the noise down the more it's repeated. This is called sensory gating.

Many/most people with ADHD will have sensory gating problems, where the second time the noise happens, it has the same impact as the first time. And it's actually more and more frazzling the longer it goes on.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 14/02/2026 21:56

Maybe, like almost everyone I know, he simply dislikes having someone chewing loudly right next to his ear.

The giveaway is in the header: "can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear".

Zottl · 14/02/2026 21:06

Hi, maybe he suffers from Misophonia. I am the same, some
noises drives me crazy!!

TwoBagsOfCompost · 14/02/2026 20:30

Team husband.

Loud chewing is diabolical.

LubyLooTwo · 14/02/2026 20:28

Some kids have mo manners ofyen because of bad parenting. At least your husband is trying to make her change her ways.

LibbyJean · 14/02/2026 19:30

Meg878o · 09/02/2026 07:18

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

Yes you are. For goodness sake, he told her to chew nicely. He didn't ask her to walk ten miles to a well to collect water.

Growlybear83 · 14/02/2026 18:48

BassBug · 14/02/2026 18:26

Maybe husband has ADHD? It would bother someone with ADHD to distraction.

Show quote history

It would bother almost ANYONE to distraction !

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 14/02/2026 18:47

I think most neurotypical people would dislike loud slurping right next to their ear just as much as someone with ADHD would, to be honest. Maybe he's just a normal bloke trying to teach basic eating manners to a child who is "offended" if she is asked not to eat loudly. (Asked with the use of the word "please", and everything.)

Actually I can see nothing in the list of ADHD symptoms that suggests loud chomping right at them is nastier for someone with ADHD than it is for anyone else. That is, repulsive.

BassBug · 14/02/2026 18:26

Meg878o · 09/02/2026 07:18

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

Maybe husband has ADHD? It would bother someone with ADHD to distraction.

MissyB1 · 12/02/2026 14:14

guestusername · 10/02/2026 08:40

I had just seen this on a Spotted Facebook page… I call bullshit 💩

So many fake threads around at the moment!

NovemberMorn · 12/02/2026 12:54

353 replies, and the OP hasn't even come back to tell us if her daughter has modified her eating habits yet. 😆

guestusername · 10/02/2026 08:40

I had just seen this on a Spotted Facebook page… I call bullshit 💩

CocoQueen2024 · 10/02/2026 08:15

Meg878o · 09/02/2026 07:18

AIBU to be upset and angry about this comment my husband made to.our 11 year old daughter. We'd been out swimming, treated the kids to a pack of sweets each, in the car on the way home. Daughter and husband sat next to each other in the back and all of a sudden he says to her 'can you stop chewing so loudly in my ear' it clearly offended her. Thoughts please...

I was taught from a very young age to always chew with my mouth closed. I remember how strict my primary school was on good manners.

Honestly, noisey eaters sound awful in close proximity.

Cheeky19863 · 10/02/2026 07:47

Your 11 year old was .....offended? Jesus wept. She should chew with her mouth closed and learn to be abit more resilient. How will she cope with secondary school, college and the real world when she is so easily offended by everything? The fact youre "angry and upset" is also bonkers

SarBe · 10/02/2026 06:06

Please please teach your daughter to be less of a snowflake. She'll thank you later

Blades2 · 09/02/2026 23:17

justaskme · 09/02/2026 19:53

@Blades2 have you discovered the loop earplugs yet? Lifesaver for when you still need to be engaged/present in the chat but mask ambient noise (like chewing from the next table for example)

Just don't trust the 'carrier'. Springs open way too easily and then they're gone 🙄

I have seen them, but I have always had problems with in ear buds popping out (dodgy ear since childhood 😂) so I just have loud music on with over the ears for now

Portakalkedi · 09/02/2026 22:30

Good for your DH, more parents need to educate their kids to eat with mouths closed and to consider others.

BlueJuniper94 · 09/02/2026 22:29

carnivalqueenthethird · 09/02/2026 21:58

What do you mean? The OP said her dad told her ‘can you stop chewing in my ear’. What was he supposed to say? ‘darling daughter your loud and unruly chewing is irritating my ear drums, please stop or daddy may cry?’. Kids need to be told clear instructions, there’s no need to fluff it up, this is how you end up with adults in the workplace that can’t take criticism and run to HR at every opportunity someone gives them a direct instruction.

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I think many adults who witnessed one colleague say that to another at work might raise an eyebrow.

TheAutumnCrow · 09/02/2026 22:20

Still zero replies.

Has a thread ever hit 1,000 without an OP returning?

somanychristmaslights · 09/02/2026 22:19

What on earth are you upset and angry about??? People chewing loudly is really annoying.

Isittimeformynapyet · 09/02/2026 21:59

ByUniqueViper · 09/02/2026 21:50

💯 agree

What with?

carnivalqueenthethird · 09/02/2026 21:58

BlueJuniper94 · 09/02/2026 15:12

Why can't this be done in a more considerate way? Obviously this was said in a disrespectful manner, I doubt the father would appreciate being spoken to like that.

Show quote history

What do you mean? The OP said her dad told her ‘can you stop chewing in my ear’. What was he supposed to say? ‘darling daughter your loud and unruly chewing is irritating my ear drums, please stop or daddy may cry?’. Kids need to be told clear instructions, there’s no need to fluff it up, this is how you end up with adults in the workplace that can’t take criticism and run to HR at every opportunity someone gives them a direct instruction.