Husband told daughter to stop chewing so loudly in his ear

Just adding a bit of support to the pile on.
Loud eating is revolting.
And why do they need junk after swimming? Swimming is exercise, it's meant to be healthy. Try a banana next time.

This is really depends - I have two teenagers and we would all feel comfortable raising this (or ourselves DH commented yesterday his own chewing noise was annoying him) sometimes it happens and families should be able to raise it in a light heart fashion.

How did he phrase it?

I don’t understand why you are "upset and angry". Don’t you want him to teach his daughter good manners?

Leave the bugger immediately Apply for benefits and put yourself on the housing list. That'll do it, won't it!

Sounds like a totally normal interaction. If someone in my family is doing something annoying I tell them (and they tell me!). Chewing in my ear would be annoying so I would point that out! As they have no qualms doing when I’m doing something annoying

I would say this to my children if they were chewing loudly, and if they were 'offended' I would tell them to stop being pathetic.

I voted YANBU and here’s why. I was raised by my grandparents because I had an abusive father and my mother had mental health issues and was broken down by his abuse. The physical abuse wasn’t great, but the verbal abuse was absolutely soul-destroying. One of the things he would do is just scream at me, “CHEW MORE QUIETLY,” or his favorite, “DRINK SOMETHING,” as if making just normal chewing sounds was dehydration. The amount of times I should mention I already had excellent table manners and chewed with my mouth closed; I believe he had misophonia because I do too, but when people normally chewing bothers my misophonia, I don’t take it on them because I’m not a fucking arsehole. When my grandparents got elderly, listening to them eat a sandwich was like the noise of being on a building site, but I didn’t say anything because, again, I’m not an abusive prick.

So only you know which of these situations is what happened:

1. Your daughter has appalling table manners and was chewing with her mouth open, very loudly, next to your husband, and rightly got a (mild) telling off.
2. She was chewing with her mouth closed, displaying fine manners, but chewy candy just happens to make a lot of noise when you eat it.

If it was the first, he should still have said, “Please chew with your mouth closed.” He’s her parent, not her sibling; he’s supposed to teach her, not snipe at her. The problem with what he said is that it neither gives her an opportunity to learn or to do better - wtf is she supposed to do? Just not chew?

If it’s a one-off, we all get snappy sometimes. And think on it no more. But if he makes comments often to the children that are things they can’t fix (stuff like yelling at them for sneezing too loudly), that’s when you have a problem.

(I realize this is heavily affected by my own experiences; I just wanted to provide this alternative point of view).

Don't blame him. It's rude and irritating.

My thoughts are erratic today. Can’t seem to focus on one thing, hoping for a more organised stream of consciousness tomorrow.

I can't stand noisy eaters either! Loud chewing and chomping noises are grim.
SILs kids are noisy eaters, mouths open and chomp chomp. Teen DD always moans to me about it. Neither SIL or her DH say anything to the kids.

You're 'upset and angry' because your husband told his 11-year-old that she was being a bit irritating by loudly chewing next to him? Bloody hell.

If this is your bar for being being upset and angry, how do you actually manage to get through your days?

it clearly offended her

So what?

This.
FFS.

Are you always this melodramatic?

Depends on the tone it was said in.

If polite and kind, YABU.

If rude, snappy, nasty or shouty, YANBU.

The yardstick is would he say it in that way to an adult he respected? Children shouldn’t be spoken to worse that we’d speak to an adult.

Huh? I'm fully on your husbands side hear. I tell my 3 year old to stop chewing so loudly. If she's offended, maybe she needs to reflect on how to eat without making disgusting noises.

I'm now waiting to see the next post from OP which will be a long drip feed about how her DH is always belittling to their daughter, blah blah, but on this basis of this alone - chewing loudly is gross, your daughter needs to learn to keep her mouth shut.

Hasn't she been taught not to eat with her mouth open or to not crunch, munch and slurp?

Your husband has a point and if that's all you've got to offended about consider yourselves fortunate.

Why would that be bad? Chewing loudly is gross

Good for him. No-one likes sitting near a colleague who hasn't been taught how to eat nicely.

Seems a bit of a storm in a teacup unless there is something else going on. Everyone gets irritated with other family members from time to time. If I can hear DH eating it drives me mad as his jaw clicks. He went through a phase of eating cornflakes when I was watching something quiet and it was like having a hamster in the corner.

These posts are why we have so many kids with no self regulation who can't be told anything as they get older..

Your H was telling his daughter off for bad manners. Good. It REALLY doesn't need a post asking people which of them was wrong 😂

Loud chewing is vile. So YABVU.

Oh for goodness sake!

There is a massive difference between teaching your child basic eating habits and going on at them for the slightest sound.

I think you’re taking this out of proportion.

Why was she offended by it ? That my first thought , I have a 10 year old and she would be annoyed for a minute , any more than that is choosing to be offended and I don’t support that in trivial stuff

Are you upset that your DP is parenting and you are not?

Good God, is there anything at all which doesn't trigger and upset people these days? Upset and angry over a perfectly correct and reasonable way to speak to his daughter? Can she do no wrong in your eyes?