Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say this is wrong of care company

138 replies

Meandmrmen · 08/02/2026 22:20

Support worker and service user had an argument due to a comment made by the support worker. The service users door had been broken by police due to a possible welfare concern. This had the not been fixed for a few days and the support worker said maybe it was because the hotel were “tried of it it. Which then in turn caused an argument. The support worker then choose not to tie up for the shift the next day. The service users lost money due to having things booked and having to pay for transport to a supermarket meanwhile despite being the instigator the support worker got full pay.

OP posts:
Cherry8809 · 09/02/2026 12:09

Summeriscumin · 09/02/2026 08:57

OP, she's a support worker not your slave. You sound thoroughly unpleasant, I doubt anyone enjoys working with you.

You need to look to yourself before criticising others.

This in spades.

You are clearly a problematic individual, and only care to blame others instead of looking at yourself. Your previous posts demonstrate this clearly.

She shouldn’t have to stay mute if she doesn’t agree with something. And you complain that you lost out financially- what about the hotel (that you benefit from, FOC), because of a situation involving you they are now out of pocket and having to fix a door that was kicked in?

Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 12:06

This is a really supportive support worker I had bags to carry already had carried a number still some left in her car she point blank wouldn’t help.

Would you say this is wrong of care company
Would you say this is wrong of care company
OP posts:
ScaryM0nster · 09/02/2026 12:02

The service users contract is with the care company, not the individual support workers.

As long as the suppprt worker is clear with tye care company around their hours, arrival time, finish time, any non attendance etc then that’s them meeting their obligations.

Any issues are between either the care company and the service user, as it’s the care company who provide the service. Or the care company and their staff member - if they’re not doing what they’re being employed by them to do.

It’s also perfectly reasonable for a support worker to suggest some contextual reasons why things may be happening. Yes, in an ideal world companied and staff wouldn’t become frustrated by their clients - but the world is not ideal and understanding your impact on others and knock on consequences of that is an important life skill.

Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:59

Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:56

The sw did earn it though for all the other times she showed up.... like I have a job and pay into the system so if unable to do my job due to sickness etc I still get paid because I earned that right by working previously. Same as mat pay, I'm not at work currently but get paid because I worked before and paid into the system.

Show quote history

Yes she got paid for a lot more than she should as most of the time I couldn’t stand being with her for the full amount of hours

OP posts:
Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:58

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 09/02/2026 11:54

Why did police break down a door in the HOTEL ?
Doesn't ring true.

It’s temporary housing in a hotel

OP posts:
Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:57

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:53

I didn’t ask them to come not like I called them

Show quote history

Why were you passed out though or not able to be reached? Obviously if you're down as vulnerable and they cant get a hold of you they will need to check

SleeplessInWherever · 09/02/2026 11:57

You sound like you have a personal gripe against this woman, and it’s probably for the best you’re assigned a new support worker.

Amongst many other things, having needs doesn’t make you unaccountable or above reproach.

Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:56

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:52

Yes and she also didn’t earn what she was paid for (: the manager of the company told me she wouldn’t give me the money back as money from the concuil wasn’t her money or mine. Though pity she didn’t apply that theory to paying the support workwr

Show quote history

The sw did earn it though for all the other times she showed up.... like I have a job and pay into the system so if unable to do my job due to sickness etc I still get paid because I earned that right by working previously. Same as mat pay, I'm not at work currently but get paid because I worked before and paid into the system.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 09/02/2026 11:54

Why did police break down a door in the HOTEL ?
Doesn't ring true.

Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:53

Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:52

How did you pay for it? Did you pay for the police time and training to show up? No you didnt.

They get paid from public money too just like the care worker who you said earlier was wasting public money and resources. Abd how she shouldnt get paid if she doesnt show up.... do you not genuinely see how much it must affect peoples physical and mental health dealing with this nonsense day in and out? And that they deserve a break if needed?

Show quote history

I didn’t ask them to come not like I called them

OP posts:
Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:52

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:48

I did pay for it actually not tha it’s relaxant

Show quote history

How did you pay for it? Did you pay for the police time and training to show up? No you didnt.

They get paid from public money too just like the care worker who you said earlier was wasting public money and resources. Abd how she shouldnt get paid if she doesnt show up.... do you not genuinely see how much it must affect peoples physical and mental health dealing with this nonsense day in and out? And that they deserve a break if needed?

Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:52

Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:45

Christ twice is regularly enough is it not? But of course you dont care cause you arent paying for it.

All of this is money being spent on you that you didnt earn but yet you're complaining about her? Who pays for the hotel btw?

You arent her boss either.

This is why people are saying you seem unpleasant and entitled.

Show quote history

Yes and she also didn’t earn what she was paid for (: the manager of the company told me she wouldn’t give me the money back as money from the concuil wasn’t her money or mine. Though pity she didn’t apply that theory to paying the support workwr

OP posts:
LIZS · 09/02/2026 11:51

If you as service user need repeated welfare concern calls your mh is clearly unstable. It would be interesting to hear the sw side of the conversation. If the support worker feels at personal risk they can refuse the call unless safeguarding measures are put in place. Was the agency aware of the situation in advance? How do you know they were paid regardless, most are on 0hours and mw.

Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:48

Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:45

Christ twice is regularly enough is it not? But of course you dont care cause you arent paying for it.

All of this is money being spent on you that you didnt earn but yet you're complaining about her? Who pays for the hotel btw?

You arent her boss either.

This is why people are saying you seem unpleasant and entitled.

Show quote history

I did pay for it actually not tha it’s relaxant

OP posts:
Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:47

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:44

Course I can open the door but no when passed out no

Show quote history

So dont pass out then?

Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:45

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:37

It happened twice not regularly

Show quote history

Christ twice is regularly enough is it not? But of course you dont care cause you arent paying for it.

All of this is money being spent on you that you didnt earn but yet you're complaining about her? Who pays for the hotel btw?

You arent her boss either.

This is why people are saying you seem unpleasant and entitled.

GlitchStitch · 09/02/2026 11:45

Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:40

People do actually. I don’t see how in unpleasant because I didn’t like a comment made.

Show quote history

How did you respond to her when she said it, that was enough to make her not want to come back?

Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:44

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 09/02/2026 10:01

Havent RTFT.

The "service user" can book taxis to shops and tickets to events but cant open their own front door?

My sympathy lies with the support worker who probably has a lower monthly income than the "service user" despite running themselves ragged dealing with nonsense like this...

As an fyi an online shop or a bus ride is prob cheaper than paying for taxis

This kind of entitlement and resource wasting is why we are close to bankrupt and social workers and care staff are burned out of leaving the profession.

Course I can open the door but no when passed out no

OP posts:
GlitchStitch · 09/02/2026 11:43

Having a door broken down twice already in a setting where you are staying temporarily and where there may be other vulnerable people also living is not reasonable. The SW comment sounds like it was pretty accurate, and it's okay for her to be talking to you about possible consequences of your actions and behaviour. Especially if they could jeopardize your housing placement or cause other issues.

Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:42

Tryingtokeepgoing · 09/02/2026 09:29

Based on the OPs posting style and completely unreasonableness about the consequences of delaying the appointment by 2 hours to suit them, then yes I suspect the OPs behaviours / responses were seen as abusive by the care worker, paid minimum wage or not far off, and they didn’t want to out up with it.

Show quote history

I’ve literally said it was a six hour shift just with me she was allocated to only ME! So I still had four hours lefts

OP posts:
Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:40

Summeriscumin · 09/02/2026 08:57

OP, she's a support worker not your slave. You sound thoroughly unpleasant, I doubt anyone enjoys working with you.

You need to look to yourself before criticising others.

People do actually. I don’t see how in unpleasant because I didn’t like a comment made.

OP posts:
Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:37

PurpleLovecats · 09/02/2026 10:41

You were entitled to the support so an alternative care worker should have been sent.

whether the original one was paid or not is none of your business, but you should still have received the care you are entitled to.

However, you also need to remember that itineraries are set in advance and changing an appointment by two hours was wrong on your side. That they were then an additional 15 minutes late is understandable given they would have had to rearrange their day.

Who pays for replacement doors if they are broken down? I understand this wasn’t your fault this time as you were away but you’re clearly flagged as a risk hence the quick response. It must be hard for the hotel if this happens regularly.

It happened twice not regularly

OP posts:
Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:36

Bababear987 · 09/02/2026 11:18

OP you sound like a nightmare. What she said wasnt that bad at all and frankly given how argumentative and entitled you are I'm not surprised she makes the odd comment.

You rearranged her by 2h and cant cope with 15mins, wind your neck in.

If you are able to have activities and call taxis then you can behave yourself a bit more and take a bit more responsibility. You sound like one of those people who uses their MH and vulnerability as an excuse to behave like an ass.

Whether or not she gets paid is none of your business at all and your repeated call outs from the police will be wasting a hell of a lot more money than you perceive her to be. People who work are allowed to take a break when they've had enough.

comp missing the point she was paid for the two hours so yes she should really come when she asked to. If your boss said you can have two hours paid at home and you still came 15 minutes late do you think they would be happy?

OP posts:
Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:34

Seelybe · 09/02/2026 11:25

@Meandmrmen the words that come to mind are manipulative, entitled and spoiling for an argument. You have the nerve to gripe about a support worker getting paid when she didn't do the work but you're clearly getting loads of money spent on you thar you didn't work for.
Whatever your circumstances, go through life with this attitude and there won't be any happy endings.

Loads of money spent on me what’s that meant to mean? Yes I have care paid through 117 aftercare as I was detained on a section for 21 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
Meandmrmen · 09/02/2026 11:33

PersephoneGoddessOfSpring · 09/02/2026 07:23

So you asked her to come 2 hours later than she should and she arrived 2 hours and fifteen minutes later? Are you aware you won't be the only person she visits in a day?

Show quote history

It was a sox hour shfits so at that point of course she was only working with me. So no it didn’t impact on anyone else.

OP posts: